Roselle Umlas
In these days when we hear of breakups and divorces more often than we used to, relationships that stand the test of time seem to be less and less the norm.
That’s why our hearts melt when we see old couples walking around holding hands, or an old man waiting by the bus station with a bouquet of flowers in his hand…all of these are demonstrations of a love that has weathered many a storm.
So what’s the secret? What do couples with unbreakable bonds know that we don’t?
In this article, I’ll lay out ten things that such couples seem to have heaps of in their relationship, or at least relate to as they work towards their #RelationshipGoals. Let’s check them out!
1) Unspoken communication
Ever seen a couple who can communicate a whole conversation with just a glance? Those are the folks we’re talking about here.
These couples have reached a point where they don’t need words to understand each other. A simple look, a gesture, even a particular sigh can speak volumes.
I’ve been married for over two decades, and this is one of the many things my husband and I share. It’s like we’ve developed our own secret language. I know when he wants to leave a party, or when he’s had a hard day, even without saying a word. And vice-versa.
Now, this didn’t come to us instantly. It’s a level of understanding we’ve reached only because we’ve spent a lot of time with each other and paid attention to each other’s telltale, non-verbal cues.
2) Shared laughter
Another thing you’ll find common across couples with an unbreakable bond is just how much they laugh.
They have their own private jokes and shared experiences that make them crack up. It’s as though they have an exclusive comedy club with just two members.
Shared laughter is one of the most beautiful and intimate aspects of a strong relationship. I remember an old piece of advice that goes:
“Marry someone who can make you laugh. Looks will fade, but funny never dies.”
And it’s true. Laughing together has so many benefits for relationships, such as:
- It’s therapeutic and relieves stress
- It boosts intimacy
- It helps you be more resilient and weather through the tough times
- You’ll never get bored!
That said, couples who have an unbreakable bond also know how powerful this next thing is…
3) Comfortable silence
As social creatures, we’re naturally wired to communicate, regardless of our personality. So, silence is something many of us find awkward or uncomfortable.
We refer to it as dead air or void, both of which connote something negative. There’s that unspoken (pun intended) pressure to fill every moment with words or actions.
But couples who’ve been through so much together? They don’t feel that urgent need. They can just…be.
Together. Quiet, content, the picture of peaceful bliss.
One might be reading a book while the other answers a crossword puzzle. Or they could sit quietly on a long car ride, no need for conversation, just the hum of the engine and the road stretching before them.
This comfort in silence is a testament to their deep connection and intimacy. It speaks volumes about the strength of their bond!
4) Mutual respect
Just like comfortable silence, mutual respect is another thing strong couples share.
There’s a real sense of equality – they value each other’s opinions, they listen when the other person is speaking, and they never belittle each other, especially not in front of others.
On my wedding day, my mom told me, “Disagree often, but never disrespect.” It struck me as such a simple yet profound approach to relationships.
And over the years, I’ve learned that respect isn’t just about the big gestures. It’s also about the little things in your day-to-day life…
- How you talk to each other
- How you seek each other’s opinion
- How you handle disagreements
- How you value each other’s individuality
Of course, there will be times you’ll hurt your partner or make them feel disrespected, that’s why it’s always important to do this next thing…
5) Apologizing and forgiving
Look, even the most well-intentioned and loving person makes mistakes. Even the strongest couples hurt each other. That’s human nature; we aren’t perfect.
But couples with unbreakable bonds understand how important it is to apologize when they mess up. They don’t make excuses or blame someone else for it.
Equally importantly, they forgive. That doesn’t mean they forget, only that they address and resolve the issue head-on instead of letting it stew and simmer in their hearts.
They don’t let one mistake ruin a beautiful thing. And the best part, there’s always an effort to do better next time. That’s what keeps them going throughout the years!
6) Shared growth
Speaking of effort brings me to this next point…the strongest couples don’t just grow old together; they grow together.
Complacency isn’t in their vocabulary. In every aspect of their lives, they make an effort, not just for themselves, but for each other.
They actively support each other’s dreams and encourage personal growth. There’s none of the envy and feeling threatened that so permeate the relationship of competitive or insecure partners.
Simply put, it’s about teamwork. One partner’s success is the other one’s, too!
7) Negotiation over compromise
Now, I want to clarify what exactly I mean by negotiation over compromise. You know how, with some couples, one person seems to give way more? To lose their individuality once they partner up?
In this sense, they’ve compromised on their core values. And that’s not going to stand up in the long run. Sooner or later, that partner will feel dissatisfied and unheard.
But you won’t see this happening with unbreakable couples. That’s because they negotiate.
One partner’s opinion doesn’t hold more weight than the other’s. There’s an equal give-and-take, a lovely push-pull dynamic where they both aim to find a middle ground on points of disagreement.
One where they won’t have to compromise their values.
Again, this is where that sense of teamwork comes into play. It’s not about winning or losing, but about finding balance and maintaining harmony.
8) Emotional vulnerability
This is something I really struggled with in my past relationships. As a deeply private (and fearful) person, I would be very caring and attentive to my partners’ needs, but almost never share my innermost self.
Needless to say, those relationships ended up in the bin.
Eventually, I learned that the only way I could have an honest-to-goodness relationship that lasts is if my partner would see everything of me – my hopes, fears, flaws, ugly sides, and all – and still love me.
True enough, I did find that person, proving that emotional vulnerability is indeed a deal-maker if you want an unbreakable relationship. It’s through these raw, real moments that deep connections are forged.
It’s a level of intimacy that goes beyond the physical. A relationship becomes stronger when both partners are secure enough to share how they really feel with each other, whether that’s ugly-crying or dancing with abandon.
In fact, those real moments? Those are what create lasting memories!
9) Creating memories
Obviously, strong couples got to where they are because they’ve been through so much. But time spent together aside, this one’s still about effort.
You see, they make a point of creating shared memories. These are not incidental things; there’s intentionality behind them.
These could be as simple as cooking a meal together or a shared ritual of sitting on the porch swing on Sundays.
Or spontaneous adventures like impromptu hikes or road trips.
The point is, these couples know that they’ve got to put in a lot of good memories in their memory piggy bank.
Because when things get rocky – and believe me, sometimes they will – they’ll be pulling that bank out and checking if there are more bad than good memories in it.
And whichever one there’s more of, that could be the deciding factor if they should stay or leave.
10) Appreciating the small things
Lastly, I’ll share the most important thing couples with unbreakable bonds share – a grateful spirit.
These couples appreciate the little things about each other. Things like a hot cup of coffee waiting for them in the mornings, a surprise note left on the bathroom mirror, helping with chores…
It’s a long list of tiny yet impactful gestures that all speak of love!
It’s these seemingly trivial things that often mean the most. In my own experience, I’ve found that this appreciation builds over time.
In fact, the older I get, the more I appreciate not just the fancy trips we take or the expensive gifts (although those are all fabulous, of course), but the moments when my husband does something ordinary yet absolutely thoughtful for me.
Because that’s what true love is – it’s not about grand romantic gestures or fairy-tale declarations of love. It’s about the little everyday things that add up to create something really special and long-lasting!
