Paul Brian
I’ve been scammed in the past and had people do nice things for me only to hold it over my head or ask for a big favor later in return.
I think many of us have had these kinds of experiences!
But I’ve also had many times where kind people have helped me out of the goodness of their hearts and not for any reward or recognition.
Those who are generous, kind and helpful will go out of their way to help somebody in need.
You’ll notice them by their actions.
1) Helping give directions to those who are lost
I still remember traveling in France in 2008 and getting hopelessly lost in an area of Lyon.
I went into a small architect’s office and used my basic French to ask the proprietor if he knew how to get back to my hostel.
He stopped the drafting he was doing and unrolled an urban blueprint, looking on it for the small side streets leading back to my locale. He explained the directions to me and then locked up the shop.
He accompanied me for a moment out on the street itself to point me where to go before returning to work with a “good luck and have a good trip!”
He was a naturally kind-hearted person. He didn’t want recognition, money or anything.
He waved off my “thanks!” making it clear this was really no big deal and that he was glad to help.
I’ve come to realize how special this kind of person is in retrospect, and, optimistically, there are actually more people like this around than you might realize!
2) Providing physical resources when chips are down
The next type of person who’s naturally kind-hearted is the kind who you’re able to turn to when the chips are down.
For many of us that may be our parents who provide lodging or money when we run into a crisis.
For others it can be a partner or friend who provides you a place to sleep or a short-term loan when you’re badly in trouble financially or with your housing situation.
None of us wants to be in a position where we’ve run out of resources to look after ourselves, and it takes humility to ask for help.
But the type of kind-hearted person who steps up also has a way of making us feel that we’re not taking advantage of them and they know we’d do the same for them.
Which is true.
3) Giving advice about what to do during a crisis
There are times when all the advice in the world doesn’t make a difference, but sometimes advice can be truly influential.
In my experience, advice that works is advice that somebody gives you from their own personal experiences.
This hard-won advice can apply directly to your situation and help you decide on your next step.
Kind-hearted people are willing to open up about their experiences and their own ups and downs, because they want to make a difference.
This includes admitting to past mistakes they made or ways they went wrong even when they thought they were right.
By removing their own ego and being honest with you about what worked for them, the compassionate and understanding person ends up giving helpful and practical advice.
4) Including others in activities and projects
In 2021 I stayed for a while at a resort in Mexico while working away at my digital nomad life.
It sounds ideal, I know, and the beach was certainly beautiful.
But after a few days looking around at the other couples and smiling faces I felt more than a little bit lonely!
After asking if I could join a group of young men and women in their 20s playing beach volleyball I felt enthused for the first time in weeks, lost in the spiking and volleying.
The guys were extraordinarily friendly and supportive, high-fiving and saying “nice!” all over the place.
After I headed off for the day I figured I might see them again but didn’t count on it. Just another happy friend group and me, an outcast, being a hanger-on to the friend group because I didn’t have my own.
But they’d made me feel included and their kind-hearted behavior had touched me…
What happened next surprised me quite a bit and was a reassurance about the goodness of humanity, especially coming as it did near the tail end of the pandemic…
5) Offering a sense of belonging to the lonely
Several days later I’d sunk back into my isolation. I hadn’t seen the guys on the beach playing and guessed they’d left or stopped playing.
Then hanging out at the bar I saw them over on the other side joking around with a few nice looking young ladies. I hesitantly raised a hand but they didn’t notice.
I was sure they didn’t remember me or thought I’d just been this random guy who invited themselves to their beach volleyball game.
But then I walked by to order another beer and one of the guys noticed me.
“Hey, man! Wow how are you? Where you been for the past couple days? We were wondering where you were! Pull up a seat.”
I was stunned. My version of reality in my head had been completely backwards. They thought I had been ignoring or avoiding them.
They made me feel completely included and belonging in their group, introducing me to the girls who were bridesmaids of another young lady there for her bachelorette party.
They were there for their friend’s bachelor party as well, but as devout Christians they didn’t drink.
It was a great time and we played fussball, billiards and started talking about many things.
Their natural kind-heartedness and open attitude was a big relief to me and I felt included and not alone anymore at the giant, fairly impersonal resort.
6) Sharing inspiration and spiritual hope
These guys were very religious and were eager to speak with me about Jesus, the Bible and many other topics.
I personally find those to be very interesting topics and enjoyed discussing my views and where I’m at in my faith journey and personal beliefs.
Even though I wasn’t part of their church or specific religion, per se, I was familiar with many of their beliefs and they inspired me with spiritual hope by their own enthusiasm.
They assured me that they were certain God cared about and loved me and everyone else, and that life had a purpose and a design.
In travels where (quite frankly) I’ve met far too many nihilists, atheists and people who seem to have given up on spiritual hope or eternal truths, it was a real breath of fresh air to meet them.
These were conventionally religious folks who assured me there was a path they followed that was meaningful for them, instead of life being a cruel joke or some fairly vague and spiritually subjective experience of ups and downs.
This is another aspect of kind-hearted people:
They share spiritual and emotional inspiration with you and cheer you up on the path of life, assuring you that everything will be OK and that the struggles you’re experiencing have meaning and a resolution.
7) Giving thumbs up, good ratings and positive feedback
These days a thumbs up on Yelp or a positive rating on Uber or Airbnb can really help someone out.
Kind-hearted people do this without a second-thought.
If there were any significant concerns with a service or product, they try to talk it over before leaving any criticism or negative feedback.
That’s because in this economy they know that people really rely on this kind of feedback.
This kind of natural kind-heartedness is one of the various ways that good-hearted people make a difference in this world and make society a slightly less fake place to participate in.
