Paul Brian
There are certain people in my life who are so likable that I instantly smile when I see them.
I never really stopped to think why, but recently I realized that they’re likable for a reason, and I can learn a lot!
That’s why I started thinking more deeply about the top things that really likable and pleasant people do that draw others to them.
These are behaviors and habits we can all do that will make our lives better and improve our social, business and romantic connections.
Let’s dive in.
1) They make people feel welcome
Likable people are great at making others feel welcome.
They do this in very simple ways:
By smiling, shaking hands, beckoning people to come in, nodding when something is said and so on.
These elementary behaviors of welcoming and openness have a big effect and people respond well to them.
2) They listen to what’s being said
Friendly people are good listeners.
They listen actively, which means they hear the unmet needs being expressed when someone talks.
They have a knack for truly hearing what’s being said instead of just the words themselves.
This makes people instantly respond with gratitude and positivity.
Everyone likes to be heard and understood.
3) They have open body language
Body language is a crucial part of likability.
Friendly people have open and receptive body language. They keep body turned to those they are speaking to, stand up straight and use their hands to gesture and express themselves.
They are engaged and open with whoever they’re interacting with, which makes people have a positive and likable reaction.
The relates directly to the next point…
4) They make friendly eye contact
Our eye pupils evolved to not take up our whole eye because early humans who couldn’t tell where somebody was looking often got confused or perceived them as a threat.
In other words, where your eyes point says a lot about what you’re focused on and why.
Friendly people look folks in the eyes.
This is both a reassurance that they aren’t a threat, as well as a giving of their attention.
The result is they tend to be regarded as straight shooters and consequently well-liked.
5) They find ways to connect to others
Naturally friendly people are experts at finding ways to connect to others.
They notice what somebody is passionate about and ask about it…
Or they hear a conversation that relates to their own skillset or interest and chip in…
They find a way to make other people feel enthused and in sync, which leads to being well-liked and appreciated by many people from all walks of life.
6) They share inspiring anecdotes to cheer people up
People who are seen as boring and annoying, often tell long stories that seem to have no point.
But friendly people who tell good stories that are relevant to the situation are very well liked.
They know how to sum up an experience without going too in-depth and by adding humor and colorful details.
They share stories from their life and experiences to cheer people up and make them feel better and more encouraged in whatever they’re dealing with in their own life.
7) They offer value and insight where they can
Friendly people are open to chipping in with their insights and advice.
They may have a recommendation for somebody looking for information, or they may have advice for a friend or stranger who’s struggling.
If they have nothing to add they will also be honest about that, too.
This authenticity is very well received, especially in a world in which virtue signaling has become so common and tiresome.
Truly friendly people are likable because they don’t “try” to be seen as good or add value, they actually do add value or admit when they are out of their league.
8) They are generous and don’t pinch pennies
Generosity is another reason that friendly people are well-liked.
It’s important to have boundaries and stave off freeloaders, of course, but being fairly generous is a good quality.
The naturally friendly person follows the philosophy that money is about energy and movement, not hoarding and racking up the biggest number.
They are more likely to invest in a great new project, pay employees well or see what they can do to offer a short term loan to a friend in need.
They’re not here to win the numbers game or brag about their savings account, they’re here to actually use their money, and this makes the friendly person very well liked.
9) They know how to take (and appreciate) a joke
Not every joke is equally funny, and some jokes are downright stupid or offensive.
But generally speaking, a naturally friendly person is one of those who’s able to take and appreciate a funny joke.
Sometimes that joke may even be a little bit at their expense or a bit on the cringe side of the spectrum.
But so what?
They’re generous in giving a little chuckle, because at least somebody’s trying, and sometimes it takes people a while to feel comfortable and warm up to some funnier material in any case.
Why not encourage them a little and laugh?
10) They introduce people to their friends and acquaintances
Friendly people like to pay it forward and introduce other people to their friends and acquaintances.
They aren’t stingy about spreading the love.
This can even go as far as introducing people to new folks who they end up dating or being romantically interested in!
The friendly person is a connector, and they are valued and sought after partly for this reason.
11) They’re open about their beliefs but not pushy
Friendly people are true to themselves and don’t try to hide who they are.
Their religion, identity, spiritual or political beliefs aren’t a secret…
But at the same time, they don’t try to push them on anybody and they maintain a respectful attitude to other people’s beliefs.
This respectfulness while still staying true to their core values makes friendly people very likable to almost everyone.
12) They are organized and good at managing stress
Stress and chaos are an inevitable part of life at times.
Friendly people who don’t get snowed under and overwhelmed by this are very likable.
The simple reason is that when they show both competence and friendliness, people respond extremely well.
We all seek out those who are both able to handle stress and graceful about it, too.
13) They forgive and forget where possible
Friendly people prefer to let bygones be bygones.
If they’re dealing with a person who’s deeply toxic and isn’t letting up on their harmful behavior that’s something that needs to be stood up to.
But if someone’s just a bit aggravating or made a stupid mistake, they usually prefer to let it go.
This generosity of spirit makes people respond very well to the friendly person and see them in a positive light as an easy-going and well-intentioned individual.
Speaking of this generous attitude…
14) They do their best to see the positive in other people
Friendly people do their best to see the value in others.
This isn’t always easy, of course, but it’s often possible.
This makes the friendly person very likable, because we all feel very satisfied and happy to be regarded in a good light.
This ties into my final point…
15) They show patience when dealing with stressed and negative people
Friendly folks seem to have a reservoir of patience.
Even when there are annoying and negative people around, the friendly individual has a way of shrugging it off and moving on.
The annoying person may not care and may be stuck in their negative loop.
But for other people who observe this graceful maneuver by the friendly individual their reaction is almost certainly to be impressed and to find themselves liking this person.
