Gershom Mabaquiao
Have you ever met a person who seems so sure of themselves in public that they shift the air in the room in the most positive way? They’re able to walk in on a conversation and everyone would stop and listen.
You may ask yourself: How do they appear so confident all the time? What are the things they avoid doing in public?
Now: If you’re struggling in this area and want to learn how to appear more confident, then I suggest you keep reading.
Because in this article, we’re listing 9 things naturally confident people avoid doing in public. Take note and practice it yourself, too!
1) They avoid putting others down
Naturally confident people avoid putting others down, as they understand that doing so reflects poorly on themselves rather than elevating their own status.
Instead, they choose to build others up, recognizing the value and contributions of those around them.
They understand that everyone has strengths and weaknesses and appreciate the unique perspectives and experiences that others bring to the table.
By creating a positive and supportive environment, they foster mutual respect and collaboration, allowing everyone to shine in their own way.
Ultimately, naturally confident people realize that lifting others up lifts them up as well, creating a win-win situation for all involved.
2) They avoid shifting eye contact
Eye contact is something that can only be sustained through confidence.
You know what they say: The eyes are the windows to the soul. And when someone’s eyes dart to different places as they talk to you, then it’s possible they’re not a very open book.
Meanwhile, naturally confident people can hold eye contact…in the right amounts. Knowing when to maintain eye contact and when to look away is part of a healthy nonverbal exchange.
This communicates to the person you’re talking to that you’re interested in them and what they’re saying. But not in a creepy way.
If you’re struggling with eye contact, one trick I do is focus on someone’s eyes for a second, then on their nose or the top of their lips the rest of the time. This takes away some pressure. It can also help you practice how to look at someone without thinking about it too much.
And if that doesn’t work, just think about this: Everyone wants to be seen, or at least paid attention to. Try to express that to the person you’re talking with through your eyes.
3) They avoid being too rigid
Being rigid is directly connected to anxiety. In nonverbal communication, being too rigid and closed off means you’re not ready to be approached. And when you’re in public, that can get you mistaken for a snob.
Naturally confident people, in contrast, tend to be more fluid and dynamic. They’re not afraid to loosen up and be a little laid back.
This is especially important in social situations like parties, conferences, or other forms of gatherings. These events are organized so that people can engage with one another.
And this is the homecourt of naturally confident people.
Try to notice the confident ones in a party: They don’t stay in one spot for too long. Instead, they try to move around, meet as many people as they can.
And even when they stay in one place, their gestures are still open and inviting. You may see them coming in for a hug, shaking hands, tapping people on the back, or kissing people on the cheek.
4) They avoid fidgeting
Even though naturally confident people show more movement, they still avoid making too much movement.
When you’re confident, you don’t need to involuntarily shake your legs or crack your knuckles every chance you get. Each gesture is purposeful and communicates a message instead of simply being a coping mechanism for anxiety.
So while moving around and staying loose is good, do it at a fairly moderate pace so as to not appear anxious.
5) They avoid verbal fillers
How often do you use “um,” “uh,” and “like” in your sentences? Well, it’s time to limit those because they do not help make you appear more confident!
All verbal fillers do for you is try to fill spaces between words because you’re too worried about the silence.
People who are naturally confident make sure that the words coming out of their mouths are well-thought out and paced. They do not shy away from pausing between sentences or phrases because even those silences convey something.
Take, for example, stand-up comedians. They stand in public in order to make people laugh! Do you ever wonder why a joke is funnier when they say it compared to when you deliver that same joke to your friends?
Well, it all lies in timing. And timing has something to do with the right pacing and pausing between words.
It pays to be comfortable with silence every now and then.
6) They avoid making people feel excluded
So far, we’ve talked about things naturally confident people avoid doing in public compared to people who are more shy.
Now let’s look at things they do differently from people who have a superiority complex.
And the first and most important point is: Naturally confident people don’t exclude others.
Try to look at a confident person you look up to. They have this way of making you feel seen or heard, don’t they?
That’s because, when you’re naturally confident, there’s an innate part of you that wants everyone to feel just at ease with you in a social situation.
They hate for anyone to feel awkward, so they try their best to get even the most quiet members of the group talking.
7) They avoid interrupting others
Now, in connection to the previous point: Have you ever met someone who goes out of their way to talk over you when you’re speaking?
This is one of the main reasons why some introverts hate confident people. But really, this isn’t confidence; it’s overcompensating.
When someone is naturally confident, they don’t mind sharing the floor with someone else. In fact, they enjoy having the conversation going by knowing when to speak and when to listen!
They even take notes from the things someone has said and build on it so that the social situation becomes smoother and more genuine.
8) They avoid over-explaining
Over-explaining is something done by people who feel that they need to overload information just because they miss something. This is the kind of person who cares too much what other people might think of them.
But those who are naturally confident don’t need to over-explain anything. In their minds, that’s only synonymous to making excuses.
Their confidence transcends the need to prove their stand. For them, their actions already speak for themselves.
9) They avoid being too mindful
Lastly, naturally confident people avoid being too mindful of the things they say or do.
They don’t go about their day watching over each step or planning out each word that comes out of their mouths.
They’re confident enough with what they can bring to the table the moment they appear. Or at least, they know that overthinking about their actions will only be detrimental rather than helpful.
These people have enough trust in themselves and their capabilities, with just enough effort to make things intentional.
And this is really what you should be taking note of. Because even if you perfect the first eight points in this article, you won’t seem naturally confident if you constantly watch over your every move.
The key here is to trust yourself more. No one knows you better than yourself.
10) They avoid boasting
Naturally confident people avoid boasting, as they don’t feel the need to prove their worth to others through external validation.
Instead, they are secure in their own abilities and accomplishments, and they don’t feel the need to constantly remind others of what they have achieved.
Rather than boasting, they tend to be humble and grounded, preferring to let their actions speak for themselves.
They understand that true confidence comes from within, and that there’s no need to brag or show off to gain respect or admiration.
Furthermore, naturally confident people also recognize the value of others’ contributions and accomplishments, and they give credit where credit is due.
They don’t feel threatened by others’ successes, but instead, they celebrate them as a sign of a healthy and supportive community.
By avoiding boasting and instead focusing on their own growth and development, naturally confident people inspire others to do the same, creating a culture of mutual respect and collaboration that benefits everyone involved.
Can you become naturally confident in public?
The easy answer is: Yes, you can! But not without hard work.
At first it may feel like the most unnatural thing. But it’s supposed to feel that way at first.
Hopefully, this list has shown you what things to avoid doing in public if you want to come across as a naturally confident person. The more you practice these habits, the more it will feel like second nature.
And when that happens, don’t forget to influence people with that confidence, too!
