Mentally strong men have certain things they avoid doing at all costs.
There are valuable lessons for us all by taking a look at what these things are.
If you want to become mentally strong, do your best to never do these things as well.
1) Dwell in the past
Mentally strong men don’t dwell in the past.
They may have regrets and pain from the past, but they don’t focus on it.
Don’t get me wrong:
The past does matter, but it never reigns as king in the land of a mentally strong man.
A mentally strong man considers what they can take from the past, but never allows it to define them or burden them down.
Mentally strong men use the past, but they never let it use them.
They try to learn what they can from the mistakes and trauma of the past and apply it to the present and the future.
If they find themselves thinking too much about the past or chewing on it over and over, they find a way to open up about it or express it.
The past is over. If you’re living in the past you’re hardly leaving any of your energy and attention for the present.
2) Lie to themselves
The next of the key things mentally strong men never do is lie to themselves.
When we’re dishonest with ourselves, it’s self-defeating and weakens us.
Mentally strong men stay away from self-delusion, because it’s part of the slippery slope to being a weak and ineffective person, which is the opposite of what they aim to be in this life.
Mentally strong men hold themselves accountable and are honest with themselves, even when it hurts.
Mentally strong men know that if they start lying to themselves they will lose self-respect and the ability to follow through on their plans.
If you start promising yourself you’ll get up early tomorrow and never do it, tomorrow will always remain “tomorrow.”
3) Lie to other people
In addition to staying honest with themselves, men of mental fortitude don’t lie to others, either.
The reason isn’t just ethics or being a good guy.
It’s because dishonesty is a slippery slope.
First you tell a few small lies and before you know it you’re running around in circles trying to keep track of all the things you’ve said.
Mentally strong men tell the truth as much as possible and face others in their life with integrity and courage.
Lying may provide many short-term benefits, but long term it’s likely to catch up with the liar in various ways, including in losing self-respect.
Just don’t lie in the first place and tell the truth even if it’s hard.
Mentally strong men aren’t some kind of Boy Scout who’s perfectly moral. But they avoid lying, because it’s just not worth the hassle.
4) Lie to get ahead
The next of the things mentally strong men never do is lie to get ahead.
Let’s face it:
You could probably pad your resume right now and never get caught.
There are any number of situations where lying can work for getting ahead.
Mentally tough men don’t do it, because not only would they be handing themselves fake wins, they’d also be creating unnecessary complications.
They’d be tying themselves up in pretzels of remembering what lie they’re supposed to be living today.
It’s just not worth the stress.
Mentally strong men are interested in getting ahead in life through hard work, innovation and dedication, not by falsehood.
If you have to lie to get ahead, you didn’t earn it.
5) Second guess
The next of the things mentally strong men never do is second guess themselves.
Once a decision is made and in the past, they stick with it.
They don’t second guess themselves and what they decide, because to do so causes unnecessary anxiety, distress and worry.
Mentally strong men may change their mind. We all do.
But they don’t do so out of self-doubt or useless speculation, they only do it if new information or considerations arise.
Mentally strong men keep their doubts to themselves and they only rethink a decision if there’s a reason to do so. They do not engage in frivolous worries or doubts.
Mentally tough guys don’t second guess themselves.
6) Exaggerate problems
Problems are inevitable in life, but exaggerating them makes it so much worse.
Mentally tough men never exaggerate problems.
If facing a crisis, they try their best to calm others down and keep themselves focused on practical outcomes.
Mentally strong men face their problems and emergency situations without amplifying them. Problems are serious enough without exaggerating them to ourselves or anyone else.
Portraying problems as even worse than they are is never a good idea.
Mentally strong men know that keeping their inner calm is key to surviving and thriving in stressful and sometimes dangerous situations.
This brings up the next point…
7) Delay what’s necessary
Mentally tough men don’t procrastinate.
No matter what needs doing, they find a way to haul their butt off the couch and do it.
They know when to take downtime and when they need a break.
But go time only has one gear: action.
Mentally strong men take the bad news first and do the hard stuff that’s necessary as soon as they can. They aren’t procrastinators.
Some things are optional, which is fine. A man may choose to do them or not do them.
But those things which are necessary and can’t be delayed are something he faces as soon as possible, even if it’s just going to the dentist.
8) Make excuses
The next of the crucial things mentally strong men never do is make excuses.
When something doesn’t work out or they can’t do it, they’ll say why.
Explanations are fine.
But excuses and talking about why everything went wrong that wasn’t their fault?
That’s the domain of weaker men who want to play the victim.
Men with a strong mind don’t traffic in that kind of tomfoolery.
Mentally strong men save excuses for other people. They’re interested in results and success, not explaining away failure and frustration.
This brings up the next point…
9) Blame others
The next of the things mentally strong men never do is blame others for their problems.
We all have things we can point out that others did or did not do which harmed us.
But mentally strong men don’t talk about this or focus on it.
Mentally strong men care much less about who’s to blame than they do about improving their own performance. If there’s a weak link they will remove it, but it’s never personal.
They focus on action and results, not on who is responsible for their problems.
They strive for success in all domains, and when they fail the first person they look at in the mirror is themselves: nobody else.
10) Throw a pity party
The next of the things mentally strong men never do is throw a pity party.
There are plenty of ways they could get people to have sympathy them or see their lives in a sad light if they wanted to.
But mentally strong men don’t want to have pity, for two main reasons:
- We write our own story about what happens to us in life, and choosing to be the sad loser is not a great position to be in or a worthwhile role to play;
- Focusing on how sad our life has been and getting pity from others does zero to actually move the ball forward or change things for the better. In fact, it’s more likely to subconsciously lock us in a sad or victimized role.
Mentally strong men face sadness and pain, but they never seek pity for it.
So, if something sad happens, a mentally strong man is going to face it. He may even open up about it and be honest about it hurting.
But he’s never going to seek pity over the hard times in life or revel in sympathy from others.
11) Love dishonestly
Another of the things mentally strong men never do is enter into sexual or romantic connections through dishonesty.
They are forthright in talking to those in their life and in stating their intentions of what they want.
When they’re in a relationship, they stay faithful.
Mentally strong men are honest about what they want in love and don’t try to mislead or take advantage of their partner.
Thinking of cheating or running around beyond their partner’s back isn’t on their playlist.
If they want to be with somebody else they’ll break up and do that.
Life’s too short for living a lie.
12) Manipulate people
Lastly, we get to manipulation in general.
Mentally tough men don’t manipulate others.
Mentally strong men don’t use manipulation as a tactic for success in any domain of their life.
They may persuade, convince or negotiate, but they don’t manipulate or pressure.
Doing so is weak and cowardly, and they have no time for playing games or getting what they want sneakily and in backhanded fashion.
Building mental resilience doesn’t happen overnight.
But each time you fall and get back up, you’re becoming a stronger and better man.
Remember that mental resilience doesn’t mean you never get frustrated or want to give up.
It just means that even when you enter life’s valleys, you keep putting one foot in front of the other regardless.
Stay strong! Stay hard. Never back down.