10 things men do in relationships when deep down they’re scared they’ll lose you to someone else

Men usually aren’t that good at showing emotion, but believe me, sometimes they have a deep fear of losing you. 

Unseen but potent, this fear can manifest in different ways. 

He might not straight out tell you, but your guy will exhibit some behaviors that speak loudly on this. 

Want some insight?

Well, when men are afraid that they’ll lose you to someone else…

1) They open up about their insecurities, mistakes, or fears.

No guy I know has an easy time being vulnerable. They usually hide their emotions and try to act confident. 

But when they’re scared of losing you to someone else, they can’t help but open up, allowing you to see their genuine selves, even if only for a moment. 

He might share that he’s afraid to lose you or admit what mistakes he’s made that pushed you away. 

Being vulnerable is usually a last attempt to show you that they’re imperfect but don’t want to lose you because of it. 

When they still think there’s a chance you will stay, their behavior is a bit different, though. Unless you’re absolutely serious about leaving, you might notice that…

2) They seem cool about you going.

Men usually have a “That’s fine” attitude when you say you’ll leave them. This is mainly because they don’t want you to see that you’re hurting them and partly because they don’t actually believe that you will. 

Women tend to be more emotional. And if you’re anything like me, you’ve probably threatened your partner a few times before. 

I’m not saying this is healthy, okay? It’s something I have to work on.

It’s just that sometimes, we love someone so much and just want to keep giving them chances to love us back and make things right. So, we think saying that we’ll leave will help them realize they need to put in the effort.

This usually doesn’t work. And if you’ve made empty threats before, your man has definitely picked this up. 

But, if deep down your guy is really scared that he’ll lose you, there’ll be some cracks in his tough exterior. 

After you’ve both cooled down, he might seem neverminded, but still do a few things to show he’s trying to keep you.

Some guys are just like that. 

Want to know exactly what it is they typically do?


3) They do, but don’t talk. 

If a man is terrified of losing you to someone else, he’ll do the things you need him to without ever saying a word. 

Keeping quiet is also something men tend to do when you haven’t actually told them that you want to leave them, but they suspect something’s up. 

Okay, he might come running to you, apologizing if you had a fight, and say he’ll do better. If you’ve got a man like this, stay lucky!

But more often than not, men stay silent, hoping that their actions speak loud. 

It could be that he hugs you longer or offers to massage your feet since he knows you like this. He might even put in a little extra effort or start pulling off surprises like he did when you first met. 

Doing something to lighten your load or make you smile unexpectedly can be his way of saying, “I’m scared of losing you, so just remember I really want to be here.”

4) They put you first, more than usual.

When a guy is terrified of losing you, you might notice a shift in his priorities. Suddenly, it’ll feel like you’re at the tip of his list. 

Whether making plans to see you more often or declining things he’d usually drag you to that you don’t enjoy, you’ll become the main focus in his life. 

In conversations and decisions, your opinions and feelings will take center stage. He’ll try to understand your perspective and make choices that make you happy. 

If you’re consistently being put first more than usual, it’s not just a gesture. This shift is usually a manifestation of a man’s fear of losing the special connection he shares with you. 

So, whether he’s making sacrifices or taking time from other commitments to see you more, your man is probably afraid that someone else is stealing your attention. 

I’m sure you can probably guess how else men try to deepen the connection you have when they’re afraid of losing you…

Not sure?


5) They hug, kiss, and initiate sex more often.

Increased physical affection is almost always a dead giveaway that your man is afraid to lose you. Whether from a genuine feeling that your attention is elsewhere or a guilty conscience…

Hugs, kisses, and even intimate moments are a way to reinforce the emotional bond between you two. Your partner could use this to communicate his love and show you you’re an important part of his world. 

In these moments, it’s really about more than the act itself. 

When words aren’t enough, or men just don’t know how to express their feelings, physical intimacy is often the only way they know how to show they’re afraid of losing the closeness you share. 

6) They keep checking in on how you feel about them. 

Does your partner suddenly ask if you’re still happy being with them? Or say they love you more often, hoping to hear it back every time?

This could be a sign that he’s afraid of losing you. 

Men look for reassurance when they think there’s a possibility you might be interested in someone else. 

Your partner will have a worry in the back of his mind and genuinely want to confirm that you still feel the same way you did. 

He might ask questions like, “How are you feeling about us?” or “Am I still enough for you?”

If your guy asks this, be honest. Your reassurance will bring him comfort, and if you don’t want to be with him anymore, well…ending things is better. 

7) They text and call you more. 

When a man fears losing you, heightened communication is often their lifeline. 

Suddenly, your phone won’t stop buzzing with text messages, and your ringtone will become a repetitive sound. 

This surge in communication is partly to subtly check in and see if you’re still happy in the relationship but mainly to ensure the connection between you two doesn’t fade. 

He might send you sweet texts throughout the day or share what he had for breakfast, lunch, and in-between snacks! 

If your partner is talking to you more than usual, consider that he wants confirmation that you’re still all in. 

8) They become jealous and possessive. 

Jealousy isn’t a healthy emotion, and possessiveness can become dangerous. 

But when a man is just genuinely afraid of losing you and not the abusive type, he’ll become a little more obsessed with you and your interactions – in a sweet way

His jealousy will stem from a deep insecurity that he’s not enough for you. 

And possessiveness might manifest in subtle ways, like wanting to know your whereabouts or being a little unsure about that new friend you made. 

If this isn’t about control or distrust, your man will act this way simply because he’s afraid of losing you to someone else. 

If you notice this behavior, approach him with empathy.

But know that there’s a line he shouldn’t cross…

Jealousy and possessiveness can be an ugly thing. If it ever feels like your guy is trying to control your every move, you need to get out. 

9) They work on themselves. 

If your partner is afraid of losing you, you might see him make a real effort to improve himself. This goes beyond hitting the gym and listening to motivational videos…

A man who wants to change for the good in order to keep you will do things that not only improve his own life but also positively impact his relationship. 

Your guy might set personal goals or address issues from his side that are hurting your relationship. 

It’s not just about changing for the sake of change but a conscious effort to become the best version of himself so you can have the best partner. 

By working on himself, your man tries to show you he’s so afraid of losing you that he’ll do whatever he needs to be what you need. 

And besides working on themselves, when men are scared they’ll lose their partner to someone else…

10) They plan for the relationship’s future. 

Working on future plans within your relationship is another clear sign that your man is afraid to lose you. 

Men who deliberately plan with you, whether that’s a vacation or something bigger like moving in together, want to be with you. 

When these conversations aren’t just daydreams but intentional steps toward building memories and a future, you should know your partner doesn’t want to lose you. 

Sure, this isn’t always the case. Things go wrong, and some relationships end for what seems like no reason. 

But if a man is afraid of losing you to someone else and genuinely loves you, he’ll do whatever he needs to keep you. If you notice your guy doing a few of the things listed, he likely wants to make sure you stick around. 

Natasha Combrink

Nats is a writer who loves creating content for purposeful brands. She enjoys spending time outdoors, crafting, and diving down rabbit holes. After rediscovering life, she wants to help others live to their full potential. You can connect with her on LinkedIn.

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