10 things men do in relationships that women secretly hate

When it comes to relationships, it’s never smooth sailing and clear skies all year round. Even if you love your boyfriend or husband to the moon and back, there are likely still some habits of his that you absolutely despise. 

So with that in mind, here are 12 things men do in relationships that women secretly (or in some cases, not so secretly) hate! 

Men – don’t get offended, this is meant to be a lighthearted dig at all the things you do that drive us women absolutely crazy, even if we don’t always show it! 

And ladies – I hope you can’t relate to the following, but chances are, you probably can. 

1) Selective hearing 

Isn’t it funny how men can hear you whisper a curse word at them from another room in the house, yet they mysteriously can’t hear you calling their name when you need a hand unpacking the shopping? 

We’ll never truly know the secret behind selective hearing – all we know is that it’s highly frustrating! 

And don’t get me started on the zoning in and out of conversations. 

I recently called my husband up on this…”How can you be looking straight at me, nodding, and not hearing a word I’m saying?” 

Did he reply? Of course not – he was still daydreaming about the sandwich he had for lunch. 

2) Making comparisons

Another thing men do in relationships that women secretly hate is make comparisons. 

We get it – his mom’s pot roast will always be the best and his ex “never” got upset over the same things we do. 

But ultimately, we don’t want or need to hear this. 

For one, it makes us feel like our efforts aren’t good enough. Secondly, it puts us in competition with people we shouldn’t be competing against. 

I vividly remember my husband telling me that his grandma wouldn’t approve of my method of storing away winter bedding…my first response was to tell him to do it himself if he didn’t like my way of doing it. 

But there’s no denying, he made me feel…well… inadequate. Like I was failing at domestic life when in reality, I just have a different way of doing things, not worse, not better.

3) Not picking up after themselves 

How is it that (some) fully grown men can go from living independently, keeping a clean house, and tidying up after themselves, to reverting back to being children the moment their girlfriend moves in? 

Even though we’ll do things like wipe down the sink after they’ve shaved, pick up their socks from the floor, and even put the plates they’ve so kindly left on the side in the dishwasher, it’s not something all of us enjoy. 

Yet, men don’t seem to think of it as important. 

And I get it, perhaps some of us have higher standards of cleanliness than our male counterparts. 

But even if you’re a stay-at-home mom who is happy to take on that role, it’s still annoying to have another adult in the house who doesn’t do the basics of cleaning up after themselves! 

My personal pet peeve? The way my husband leaves his shoes right in front of the shoe rack. I mean, is it really that hard to put them into the slot and save me from doing it? 

I guess so. 

4) Using “I” statements instead of “we”

Over the years, I’ve heard many girlfriends complain about this.

Even after years of being together, they’ll hear their SO casually mention, “I’m thinking about buying a new car” or “I repainted the bathroom the other day” (even though it was a joint effort). 

So, why do we secretly hate this? Isn’t it just an innocent mistake, said without malice? 

Of course. We know men don’t do this on purpose. But it bothers us because we’re here doing our best for the team, the unit, and they’re out there seemingly only thinking of themselves. 

Ultimately, it can make you feel like your decisions and opinions aren’t being factored in. 

5) Spending too much time on electronics 

Now, this next thing is pretty annoying no matter who does it. 

But when you’re in a relationship, you’ll probably notice it more just because you spend more time with your other half than with family or friends, especially if you live together. 

I, for one, can’t stand talking to my husband while he’s scrolling on his phone or checking his Bitcoin updates. 

Because I know, as much as he’s trying to split his attention between the phone and me, he simply can’t do both at the same time. And not because he’s a man. 

But it’s just physically impossible to give your full attention to two different things at the same time. 

Luckily that’s the only device I have to contend with. But all too often I hear women complaining that their boyfriends are glued to the Xbox on weekends or stay up late scrolling on their tablets before bed. 

The truth is, we’re probably all guilty of being on our devices when we should be paying attention to our partners

That doesn’t stop us from secretly hating when they do it, though! 

6) Not noticing the little details 

For my ladies out there who are extremely detail-oriented, this next point will certainly hit home…

From having your hair cut and styled differently, to changing the living room decorations or trying out a new recipe, when our men fail to see these subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) upgrades, it’s frustrating. 

It’s not that we need them to also get persnickety about different shades of duck egg blue wall paint, but we want them to at least acknowledge our efforts. 

Also, building a connection lies in those little details. When he notices things about you, it shows he’s really seeing you and paying attention. 

When he thanks you for cooking a new recipe, it shows his appreciation. 

After all, isn’t life made up of all the small moments that show we care about one another?

7) Acting inconsistently 

With maturity, this tends to filter out. 

But we’ve all been in those relationships where a guy is super loving, vulnerable, and sweet with you, only to turn into a macho-no-feelings-tough-guy in front of his friends. 

This lack of consistency can be jarring. And it’s not uncommon for women to secretly hate their partner’s alter ego, mainly because they know it’s an act. 

I’m gonna give guys some slack here, it can’t be easy in a society where men are told they have to act a certain way to be considered manly. 

But from our perspective, changing their behavior to “fit in” only feeds into this ugly narrative. 

Ultimately, we just want to see our partner behaving authentically

8) Being lazy with grooming 

There’s not much I have to say about this point, it’s pretty obvious. 

Some men quickly go from smelling fresh, monthly haircuts and little to no nose hair, to letting it all go once they get comfortable in the relationship.

In one sense, it’s nice that they feel accepted and loved as they are in their natural state. 

But on the other hand, we women also appreciate our SOs making an effort. 

For example, I love my husband’s beard. Do I love it after he’s neglected it for 5 months straight? 

Not so much!

We don’t need our partners to be dressed to the nines all the time, but basic grooming and making an effort to look and smell fresh can go a long way in keeping that spark going! 

And this next point is closely related: 

9) Excessive burping or farting 

Ladies, I got catfished. 

My husband didn’t let a single molecule of gas escape his body for the first 6 months of our relationship (or not that I know of, anyway). I couldn’t believe my good luck. 

Then we moved in together, and boom! He’s taken to burping like Homer Simpson, and the farts? Let’s not go there. 

The worst part is he finds it hilarious. Perhaps my reaction more than the act itself. 

Can you relate? 

Of course, we are all prone to this, it’s a basic human function. But it’s just no fun to hear it just as you’re drifting off to sleep or about to take your first bite of food! 

10) Being called crazy during an argument 

And finally, we hate this word, especially when all we’re trying to do is communicate our feelings. 

Being called crazy, when you’re already upset or on edge, doesn’t help the situation. In fact, all it does is make us feel like our emotions aren’t valid. 

When all we want is to be seen and heard, this one can really push us over the edge. 

But I have a sneaky suspicion that the guys who use this word know this – it’s their way of getting under our skin! 

So, there we have it, 10 things men do in relationships that women secretly hate. I’d like to mention, not all men are like this, and not all men do every single thing listed. 

But from experience, these issues seem to crop up time and time again. And we women either learn to live with it and have a laugh about it, or move on and find someone slightly less annoying! 

On that note, I’m about to forward this article to my husband… let’s see if he finally starts putting those goddamn shoes back on the rack! 

Kiran Athar

Kiran is a freelance writer with a degree in multimedia journalism. She enjoys exploring spirituality, psychology, and love in her writing. As she continues blazing ahead on her journey of self-discovery, she hopes to help her readers do the same. She thrives on building a sense of community and bridging the gaps between people. You can reach out to Kiran on Twitter: @KiranAthar1

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