Kiran Athar
When it comes to relationships, itโs never smooth sailing and clear skies all year round. Even if you love your boyfriend or husband to the moon and back, there are likely still some habits of his that you absolutely despise.
So with that in mind, here are 12 things men do in relationships that women secretly (or in some cases, not so secretly) hate!
Men – donโt get offended, this is meant to be a lighthearted dig at all the things you do that drive us women absolutely crazy, even if we donโt always show it!
And ladies – I hope you canโt relate to the following, but chances are, you probably can.
1) Selective hearing
Isnโt it funny how men can hear you whisper a curse word at them from another room in the house, yet they mysteriously canโt hear you calling their name when you need a hand unpacking the shopping?
Weโll never truly know the secret behind selective hearing – all we know is that itโs highly frustrating!
And donโt get me started on the zoning in and out of conversations.
I recently called my husband up on thisโฆโHow can you be looking straight at me, nodding, and not hearing a word Iโm saying?โ
Did he reply? Of course not – he was still daydreaming about the sandwich he had for lunch.
2) Making comparisons
Another thing men do in relationships that women secretly hate is make comparisons.
We get it – his momโs pot roast will always be the best and his ex โneverโ got upset over the same things we do.
But ultimately, we donโt want or need to hear this.
For one, it makes us feel like our efforts arenโt good enough. Secondly, it puts us in competition with people we shouldnโt be competing against.
I vividly remember my husband telling me that his grandma wouldnโt approve of my method of storing away winter beddingโฆmy first response was to tell him to do it himself if he didnโt like my way of doing it.
But thereโs no denying, he made me feelโฆwellโฆ inadequate. Like I was failing at domestic life when in reality, I just have a different way of doing things, not worse, not better.
3) Not picking up after themselves
How is it that (some) fully grown men can go from living independently, keeping a clean house, and tidying up after themselves, to reverting back to being children the moment their girlfriend moves in?
Even though weโll do things like wipe down the sink after theyโve shaved, pick up their socks from the floor, and even put the plates theyโve so kindly left on the side in the dishwasher, itโs not something all of us enjoy.
Yet, men donโt seem to think of it as important.
And I get it, perhaps some of us have higher standards of cleanliness than our male counterparts.
But even if youโre a stay-at-home mom who is happy to take on that role, itโs still annoying to have another adult in the house who doesnโt do the basics of cleaning up after themselves!
My personal pet peeve? The way my husband leaves his shoes right in front of the shoe rack. I mean, is it really that hard to put them into the slot and save me from doing it?
I guess so.
4) Using โIโ statements instead of โweโ
Over the years, Iโve heard many girlfriends complain about this.
Even after years of being together, theyโll hear their SO casually mention, โIโm thinking about buying a new carโ or โI repainted the bathroom the other dayโ (even though it was a joint effort).
So, why do we secretly hate this? Isnโt it just an innocent mistake, said without malice?
Of course. We know men donโt do this on purpose. But it bothers us because weโre here doing our best for the team, the unit, and theyโre out there seemingly only thinking of themselves.
Ultimately, it can make you feel like your decisions and opinions arenโt being factored in.
5) Spending too much time on electronics
Now, this next thing is pretty annoying no matter who does it.
But when youโre in a relationship, youโll probably notice it more just because you spend more time with your other half than with family or friends, especially if you live together.
I, for one, canโt stand talking to my husband while heโs scrolling on his phone or checking his Bitcoin updates.
Because I know, as much as heโs trying to split his attention between the phone and me, he simply canโt do both at the same time. And not because heโs a man.
But itโs just physically impossible to give your full attention to two different things at the same time.
Luckily thatโs the only device I have to contend with. But all too often I hear women complaining that their boyfriends are glued to the Xbox on weekends or stay up late scrolling on their tablets before bed.
The truth is, weโre probably all guilty of being on our devices when we should be paying attention to our partners.
That doesnโt stop us from secretly hating when they do it, though!
6) Not noticing the little details
For my ladies out there who are extremely detail-oriented, this next point will certainly hit homeโฆ
From having your hair cut and styled differently, to changing the living room decorations or trying out a new recipe, when our men fail to see these subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) upgrades, itโs frustrating.
Itโs not that we need them to also get persnickety about different shades of duck egg blue wall paint, but we want them to at least acknowledge our efforts.
Also, building a connection lies in those little details. When he notices things about you, it shows heโs really seeing you and paying attention.
When he thanks you for cooking a new recipe, it shows his appreciation.
After all, isnโt life made up of all the small moments that show we care about one another?
7) Acting inconsistently
With maturity, this tends to filter out.
But weโve all been in those relationships where a guy is super loving, vulnerable, and sweet with you, only to turn into a macho-no-feelings-tough-guy in front of his friends.
This lack of consistency can be jarring. And itโs not uncommon for women to secretly hate their partnerโs alter ego, mainly because they know itโs an act.
Iโm gonna give guys some slack here, it canโt be easy in a society where men are told they have to act a certain way to be considered manly.
But from our perspective, changing their behavior to โfit inโ only feeds into this ugly narrative.
Ultimately, we just want to see our partner behaving authentically.
8) Being lazy with grooming
Thereโs not much I have to say about this point, itโs pretty obvious.
Some men quickly go from smelling fresh, monthly haircuts and little to no nose hair, to letting it all go once they get comfortable in the relationship.
In one sense, itโs nice that they feel accepted and loved as they are in their natural state.
But on the other hand, we women also appreciate our SOs making an effort.
For example, I love my husbandโs beard. Do I love it after heโs neglected it for 5 months straight?
Not so much!
We donโt need our partners to be dressed to the nines all the time, but basic grooming and making an effort to look and smell fresh can go a long way in keeping that spark going!
And this next point is closely related:
9) Excessive burping or farting
Ladies, I got catfished.
My husband didnโt let a single molecule of gas escape his body for the first 6 months of our relationship (or not that I know of, anyway). I couldnโt believe my good luck.
Then we moved in together, and boom! Heโs taken to burping like Homer Simpson, and the farts? Letโs not go there.
The worst part is he finds it hilarious. Perhaps my reaction more than the act itself.
Can you relate?
Of course, we are all prone to this, itโs a basic human function. But itโs just no fun to hear it just as youโre drifting off to sleep or about to take your first bite of food!
10) Being called crazy during an argument
And finally, we hate this word, especially when all weโre trying to do is communicate our feelings.
Being called crazy, when youโre already upset or on edge, doesnโt help the situation. In fact, all it does is make us feel like our emotions arenโt valid.
When all we want is to be seen and heard, this one can really push us over the edge.
But I have a sneaky suspicion that the guys who use this word know this – itโs their way of getting under our skin!
So, there we have it, 10 things men do in relationships that women secretly hate. Iโd like to mention, not all men are like this, and not all men do every single thing listed.
But from experience, these issues seem to crop up time and time again. And we women either learn to live with it and have a laugh about it, or move on and find someone slightly less annoying!
On that note, Iโm about to forward this article to my husbandโฆ letโs see if he finally starts putting those goddamn shoes back on the rack!
