Roselle Umlas
When we talk about happy people, there’s this misconception that they’re the carefree, happy-go-lucky types.
However, it doesn’t really paint a full picture of someone who’s truly happy. You see, happiness is more complex than just being carefree.
True happiness isn’t about being free from worries or concerns. It doesn’t mean zipping through life without experiencing hardship, stress, or pain.
The journey does get easier, though, because truly happy people don’t waste time worrying about the wrong things.
In this article, I’ll tackle 10 things in life truly happy people never worry about.
1) Other people’s opinions
Have you ever found yourself overthinking about what others might be thinking about you? Let’s be honest, we all have.
We worry about what people think about our fashion sense. We get pressured into getting married, having kids, having a fancy car and all that. Whether it’s big or small stuff, we pause and fret over what others might say.
Look, there are thousands of opinions out there, and as they say, you just can’t please everybody.
And why should you? It’s your life, after all. It’s your opinion that should matter most. Are you at peace with yourself? Are you sure about what you want?
For truly happy people, that’s how it is. Why? Because they have a strong sense of self-belief and confidence.
That doesn’t mean they don’t value other people’s input; they do appreciate diverse perspectives. It’s just that they don’t let it govern their life decisions.
They’re not afraid of being judged or getting ridiculed, as long as they’re at peace with themselves.
2) Getting everyone to like them
While we’re on the topic of worrying about what other people think, another trap many of us fall into is wanting people to like us.
And that’s completely natural. We’re social creatures, after all.
But it’s a problem when it becomes an overriding theme in our lives. When we do things we don’t want to just so we can fit in.
As I mentioned earlier, there’s no pleasing everyone. It’s impossible. So, truly happy people know better than to waste energy on that.
I learned this the hard way. As a former people-pleaser, I’ve contorted myself into all sorts of shapes just to make people like me and “belong.”
The result? I felt exhausted all the time, and after a while, I found that I didn’t like what I was seeing in the mirror. I mean, who is this person? I don’t even know her!
See, when you keep adjusting to be everyone’s cup of tea, it’s easy to lose sight of the real you – of what you really want.
For me, what did the trick was this question: “Wait a minute, why am I worrying if they like me? The more important question is, do I like them? And do I like me?”
3) Failure
Another thing genuinely happy people don’t worry about is failing.
In fact, research shows that happy people react to failure in a wildly different way from the rest. When they fail, they don’t engage in negative self-reflection and are able to recover quickly.
No damaging self-talk like, “I’m such a failure!”, “I’m so stupid!”, or “I’ll never do this right!”
They simply see failure as a natural part of the process of learning.
4) The perfect timing
Have you always wanted to write a book, but “it’s not the right time yet”? Or open your own food truck business, but “the market is down”?
Well, here’s a better question: if not now, when?
The truth is – and this is something truly happy people know – there’s never a perfect time.
(Unless it’s cake. It’s always the perfect time for cake.)
I mean, if we were being honest, waiting for the perfect time could just be an excuse we’re making due to fear. Maybe we’re afraid to seize the moment because we might fail.
For genuinely happy people, perfect timing isn’t an issue because they know they can create their own opportunities. That they don’t have to wait for life to happen to them; they can go and make it happen on their own.
So, when is the perfect time? It’s whenever you make a move.
5) Perfection
Truth be told, there’s no perfect anything.
That’s why truly happy people never worry about achieving perfection. They know that chasing after it is an exercise in futility.
What to aim for, then? Progress.
I remember starting my first year as an early childhood teacher with a very clear vision in my mind. I would welcome the kids each day, we’d have fun and games, and they’d all be well-behaved, minding their please-and-thank yous all day long.
Of course, with kids being kids and me being so inexperienced, the reality was so far from that vision. I’d go home feeling frustrated that it wasn’t going the way I wanted it to – perfectly.
Looking back at it now, I see where I went wrong. I should’ve applied the same progress-based assessment I used for my students to myself. Had I done that from the start, I would have been so much happier!
So let go of the idea of perfection. It’s an illusion. Progress is a more attainable, not to mention more happy-making, standard.
6) The past
Mistakes. Missed opportunities. The road not taken.
Ever spent nights thinking about all of that? That could be getting in the way of your happiness.
You see, just like failure, the past should merely serve as a classroom. You learn what you can from it, then move on to the world that’s waiting for you.
Truly happy people don’t get stuck in “what ifs” and “if onlys.” Part of it is because of what I mentioned above, that they learn from their past mistakes.
But part of it is also due to their optimistic nature. They have this mindset of enjoying what’s right in front of them.
Which means, no matter how many mistakes or missed opportunities there have been, the present holds so much more potential for joy.
7) The future
Similar to the past, the future is something truly happy people don’t dwell on.
Don’t get me wrong, they do plan and prepare, but then they leave it at that. They won’t get caught up in a spiral of worry because they also understand the concept of acceptance.
Meaning, they accept that the future is uncertain and that there will be things beyond their control that could mess up their plans.
So…why worry? If it’s not something you can control, why waste your energy dreaming up countless “what-if” and worst-case scenarios?
I know this is easier said than done. What helped me was having a mindfulness practice. This made it easier for me to track my thoughts and rein them in when they’re veering off into the land of “what-ifs.”
8) Wealth
Notice I said ‘wealth’, not money. For sure, even happy people worry about money sometimes. After all, you can’t pay your bills without it even if you’ve got the most pleasant disposition in the world.
But wealth, that’s a different thing. If we were to believe all the ads and celebrities proclaiming that “more money = more happiness”, we’d be buying into a lie.
See, money does increase life satisfaction, but only to a certain point. According to a study, once people reach financial stability (relative to their country), their happiness stops increasing with wealth.
To drive that home even more, I’ll inject a bit from Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.
It states that once our basic needs are met – food, shelter, etc. – we can begin attending to all the other life factors that motivate us and make us happy.
Which brings me to this: truly happy people see money as functional – it helps us meet our basic needs, period. And maybe a few perks, if you’ve got enough to spare.
More than that, it doesn’t deserve as much energy and mental space. They’re content with what they have, so they can devote more attention to the things that matter most – relationships, meaningful experiences, growth, and purpose.
9) Achievement
“I’m [insert age], and I haven’t achieved anything yet!”
Has this thought ever crossed your mind? I can’t blame you if it did; I used to get all panicky myself thinking about this when I was in my 30s.
Fortunately, I came to my senses soon enough. It happened when a wise (and truly happy) friend told me, “So what? Is there a manual that says we have to be this and that by the time we’re at a certain age?”
So what, indeed.
Delving into this more, I chanced upon psychologist Martin Seligman’s study on happiness. I won’t go into the specifics, but the point of it is that happiness comes down to having a meaningful and engaged life.
Viewing my life through that lens made me see that I was indeed thriving. I absolutely loved what I was doing – teaching and writing – so my life felt meaningful.
Maybe I wasn’t “achieving” in the way society says I should be, but I definitely had a sense of purpose.
10) Aging
Finally, we get to aging, universally acknowledged as a terrible, frightening process. There’s even an entire multi-billion dollar industry dedicated to fighting it.
It’s understandable; the idea of losing our youth and becoming wizened, wrinkled crones can really be uncomfortable!
Truly happy people don’t see it that way, though. They see growing old as a gift, which not everyone has the privilege of receiving.
Someone once told me, “I thought my 50s were great, but now that I’m in my 60s, I feel even better. Now I’m excited to get to my 70s!”
At first, I thought they were lying or engaging in some form of denial. But as I grow older myself, I’m beginning to see what they mean.
The older I get, the freer I become. The more memories I make. The more lessons I learn. The more wisdom I earn.
It’s all about perspective!
