6 things in life that just won’t matter in the long run, according to psychology

Life can get pretty crazy, and it’s easy to stress over things that seem important at the time. But when you take a step back, you often realize that not everything is worth worrying about.

In the grand scheme of things, some stuff just doesn’t matter as much as we think, especially compared to the experiences and relationships that truly shape who we are.

Understanding this can help us let go of unnecessary stress and focus on what really counts—like personal growth, genuine relationships, and making a positive impact.

Let’s check out a list of things that, according to psychology, won’t really matter in the long run. This can help us keep our energy on the things that truly make life fulfilling.

1) Chasing societal norms

In the grand theater of life, we often find ourselves playing roles dictated by societal norms. We strive to fit into the conventional molds, be it in terms of career paths, lifestyle choices, or even personal relationships.

This striving is fueled by a deep-seated need for acceptance and approval. We measure our worth based on how well we align with these norms and how our lives compare to the perceived standards of success.

However, from a psychological perspective, this constant chase after societal norms is one of those things that won’t matter in the long run. Our fixation on these external yardsticks can detract from our unique journey of self-discovery and personal growth.

A study found that people who prioritize personal standards over societal expectations tend to have higher self-esteem and experience less stress and anxiety.

This doesn’t mean we should disregard societal norms completely. They play a crucial role in maintaining social order and coherence.

2) Accumulating material wealth

I remember a time when I was completely absorbed in the pursuit of wealth. Like many, I thought that financial success was synonymous with happiness.

I worked relentlessly, pouring all my energy into climbing the corporate ladder and expanding my bank account.

But over time, I realized that this constant pursuit of material wealth was not fulfilling. Despite achieving financial success, I felt a deep sense of emptiness. It seemed like no amount of money could fill the void.

This is not just my personal experience. Psychological research also suggests that beyond a certain point, increase in income does not correspond to an increase in happiness.

A study found that emotional well-being rose with income up to about $75,000 per year. Beyond this threshold, money did not contribute significantly to happiness.

This is not to downplay the importance of financial security. It’s critical to have enough to cover our basic needs and ensure a comfortable life.

But it’s equally important to realize that accumulating material wealth is not a guaranteed ticket to lasting happiness or fulfillment.

3) Seeking external validation

In the story I shared earlier, part of the emptiness I felt was rooted in the constant need for external validation.

I was seeking approval and recognition from others, believing that their positive perception would validate my worth. Yet, no matter how much praise or recognition I received, it never seemed enough.

This desire for external validation is a common trap many of us fall into. We believe that our value is defined by how others perceive us – our success, our appearance, our lifestyle. We constantly compare ourselves to others and strive to meet or surpass their standards.

However, psychology suggests that this pursuit of external validation is a hollow chase. A study found that individuals who base their self-worth on external sources reported more stress, anger, academic problems and relationship conflicts.

In the grand scheme of life, seeking external validation won’t matter in the long run. It’s a shifting sand that offers no solid foundation for self-esteem or happiness.

What truly matters is cultivating self-awareness and self-compassion. It’s about recognizing our inherent worth and validating ourselves, rather than seeking approval from others.

4) Avoiding failure

In our success-driven society, failure is often demonized. We’re taught to view it as a setback, a sign of weakness, or even an indication of our worth.

We strive to avoid failure at all costs, believing that success is the only acceptable outcome.

But here’s a different perspective. Failure, in the long run, doesn’t hold the negative weight we often assign to it. In fact, psychology suggests that experiencing failure can be a pivotal driver for growth and innovation.

A study discovered that individuals who experienced failure were more likely to generate creative ideas compared to those who experienced success. This is because failure challenges our existing beliefs and pushes us to think outside the box.

Moreover, failure cultivates resilience. It teaches us how to adapt, evolve, and persist in the face of adversity. These are valuable life skills that contribute to our long-term growth and happiness.

So, instead of avoiding failure, it’s more beneficial to embrace it as an integral part of our journey. Every challenge contains within it the seeds of creative possibility and personal growth.

5) Holding onto regrets

Regrets have a way of lodging themselves in our minds, replaying past mistakes or missed opportunities like an unwelcome movie. We often hold onto these regrets, thinking that if we had only done things differently, our lives would be better.

However, according to psychology, holding onto regrets doesn’t serve us in the long run. Research found that dwelling on regrets can lead to chronic stress, negatively impacting mental health.

Moreover, regrets keep us stuck in the past, preventing us from moving forward and embracing the present moment. They often stem from a false belief that we could have controlled or predicted the outcome of past events.

In reality, life is a complex interplay of various factors, many of which are beyond our control. Rather than dwelling on what could have been, it’s more beneficial to accept our past choices, learn from them, and use these lessons to make better decisions in the future.

One resource that can help with this process is my “Finding Your Purpose” free masterclass. It’s a guided journey into discovering your true calling, offering tools and insights to clarify what truly matters to you. By embracing your purpose, you can let go of past regrets and focus on creating a fulfilling future.

Check out the masterclass here to start your journey towards a purpose-driven life.

6) Constant busyness

In our fast-paced world, being busy has become a badge of honor. We’re often praised for our packed schedules and endless to-do lists, equating constant activity with productivity and worth.

However, contrary to popular belief, being perpetually busy isn’t something that will matter in the long run. Psychology suggests that the constant state of busyness can lead to chronic stress, burnout, and decreased productivity.

A study found that long working hours do not necessarily translate into high productivity. In fact, working excessively can lead to decreased cognitive performance and increased health risks.

Moreover, being constantly busy can rob us of the joy found in the present moment. It can prevent us from forming deep connections with others, engaging in creative pursuits, or simply taking time to relax and enjoy life.

Therefore, it’s important to strike a balance between activity and rest. It’s about understanding that productivity is not just about doing more, but also about doing better. And sometimes, doing better means slowing down, taking breaks, and giving ourselves permission to simply be.

Embracing the transient nature of life

Psychology offers us valuable insights into these aspects of life that hold enduring significance. By understanding these facets of human behavior and mindset, we can make informed decisions, align our actions with our deepest values, and lead more fulfilling lives.

So as you move forward on your journey, consider this: What are the things in your life that won’t matter in the long run? And how can you shift your focus towards what truly matters?

To delve deeper into finding what truly matters to you and aligning it with your purpose, consider checking out my “Finding Your Purpose” free masterclass. It’s a guided journey that offers tools and insights to clarify your deepest values and passions.

Begin your journey here towards a more fulfilling, purpose-driven life.