Pearl Nash
When we say “high-quality” woman, there is almost a status attached to it.
It sounds as though she is somehow better than any other woman, but she’s not.
Here’s what actually sets her apart:
She knows her worth.
Yet every woman on this planet has the same intrinsic value. So not one of us should be putting up with being downtrodden or disrespected.
With that in mind, let’s look at the things in life a high-quality woman isn’t going to accept, and so we shouldn’t either.
1) Being told who she can and can’t see
We all have the right to govern our own lives and spend our time where we see fit.
So she won’t be crushed by a jealous boyfriend who doesn’t like her to have male friends. That’s his problem and not something she’ll pander to.
If one of her close friends doesn’t like someone, she won’t let that influence her judgment of them. She prefers to make her own mind up.
She knows she is free to see who she likes, and it’s nobody’s business but her own.
Ultimately, it’s just a form of control if somebody tries to coerce us into dropping certain people from our lives.
It often sets you down a very toxic path.
…And high-quality women simply won’t let that fly.
2) Half-assed effort in relationships
If you’re not fully in, then you can walk on by.
High-quality women are not demanding. They simply know how they should be treated.
When it comes to romance we all deserve to be with someone who is willing to put the effort in.
That means consistent effort too. Not here one day and nowhere to be seen the next.
She isn’t going to put up with people who blow hot and cold or those who are flaky and unreliable.
If you’re going to be in her life, she expects you to call when you say you will, to make an effort to spend time with her, and be generally proactive in playing your part.
The emotionally unavailable, f*uckboys and players need not apply. She doesn’t have time for you.
3) Giving up her independence
High-quality women are multi-faceted.
They have varied interests, hobbies, friends, and pursuits.
She likes the fact that she can rely on herself in practical and emotional ways. It’s likely something she’s worked hard to achieve.
So she’s not going to give that up.
It’s not that she doesn’t rely on others too. We all need support and help. It’s just that she values her autonomy.
In fact, as explained in Psychology Today, healthy independence and the security of relationships actually go hand in hand:
“Gaining independence helps us learn, explore, and evolve; yet, the world can be a scary and unforgiving place. The need to have others in our lives who we can turn to for comfort, support, and security is essential. Indeed, such dependence gives us the ability to be independent.”
Anyone who tries to “tame” her independent spirit is going to be left feeling very disappointed.
4) A clear lack of respect
It’s all about basic levels of decency.
She treats everyone she meets with regard and civility, and she expects the same back.
That’s not to say she’ll fly into diva behavior at the drop of a hat. We all have bad days and can take it out on others.
But fundamentally she isn’t going to deal with:
- Rude behavior
- Unkind people
- Offensive comments
- Those who try to overstep the mark (crossing boundaries)
- Manipulation and control
- Toxic people
When she sees these sorts of behaviors in people, she may try to be understanding about it, but she’s for sure going to keep her distance.
5) Bad treatment of others
High-quality women don’t just use their strength to their own advantage.
They feel a responsibility to stand up for what’s right, even when they have nothing personally to gain.
I get that not everyone wants to stick their neck out. But principles and values are important.
So she won’t just stand by and watch others be downtrodden, she sticks up for them.
That may mean fighting injustices or getting involved in good causes.
But it could also be as simple as calling out prejudice, ignorance, or bad behavior wherever she comes across it.
She doesn’t keep quiet for the sake of an easy life. A high-value woman realizes that we should all rise together.
6) Being taken for granted
Appreciation is so important to our well-being.
So much so that research found that receiving a compliment has the same positive effect as receiving cash.
If someone cannot see everything you have to offer, you can rest assured that someone else will.
Rather than try to prove her worth to someone who is ungrateful, she will move on.
It’s not just words of appreciation that are important either. Sweet talkers may shower you with flattery but still try to take advantage.
That’s why we have to remember that people also need to show their appreciation through actions. That means giving you the support, kindness, and consideration you show them.
As Professor Bruce Y. Lee M.D. reminds us, making space for even one person who takes us for granted has a knock-on effect.
“Keep in mind that being underappreciated and undervalued in one relationship can be a big drain on your other relationships. After all, one minute spent on a person who is taking you for granted and doesn’t deserve your time is one less minute for someone who does deserve your time.”
7) Emotional blackmail
I’m going to tell you something that I know to some people may sound harsh:
I don’t care if meeting my perfectly legitimate needs is inconvenient to you.
It’s a wonderfully freeing feeling because it means guilt trips are like water off a duck’s back to me.
I can see straight through it and see it’s them who’s being unreasonable, not me.
If I say no to an invitation or opportunity, it’s within my rights to do so.
Too many people fall into people-pleasing behaviors, out of fear of upsetting anyone. But we have a right to take care of ourselves.
It’s not selfish to do what is right for you when you need to.
That doesn’t mean doing whatever the heck we want and be damned with the consequences for anyone else. Respect is obviously important.
But it absolutely does mean unashamedly taking care of your well-being.
Trying to make someone feel guilty, sulking or cajoling them is manipulation, pure and simple.
And that spoiled behavior is just not something a high-quality woman is going to give the time of day to.
8) Double standards
If you think it’s okay for you to do something, she’s going to assume it’s fine for her too.
Double standards creep silently into so many aspects of society, particularly when it comes to gender stereotypes.
Therapist Rebecca Williams offers some great examples of these:
“Women who want to snuggle are affectionate. Men who want to snuggle are needy.
A married woman without a job is a homemaker. A married man without a job is a failure.
A man who speaks his opinion is strong and passionate. A woman who speaks her opinion is bitchy and shrill.
A woman who raises kids is ‘natural.’ A man who raises kids can’t find something meaningful to do.
Men who like sex are admired and powerful. Women who like sex are sluts and whores.
A woman who cries is in touch with her feelings. A man who cries is weak.
A woman who gets angry is irrational. A man who gets angry knows and gets what he wants.”
When we see double standards play out, it’s important to call them out.
High-quality women believe in equality for all of us, and double standards don’t fit into that vision.
9) Settling for less out of fear
She’d rather be alone than with a jerk.
She would rather give it a go and fall on her ass trying.
High-quality women believe in building resilience. And that means pushing your comfort zone in order to do so.
Because it’s not about being born with a thick skin.
We don’t have to be naturally emotionally strong, it’s something that’s cultivated.
It also goes hand in hand with growing self-esteem and self-respect.
The more deserving you feel of good things happening to you in life, the more you are prepared to strive for those.
You no longer wonder if this is the best you’re going to get.
Because if it’s not good enough, you know deep down in your heart, that better is out there waiting for you.
You are a high quality woman
You have value, you matter, you are deserving.
That means you are a high-quality woman.
We don’t always feel that way sadly, because we allow others, or let’s face it, ourselves, to put us down.
Stepping into your power and influence in this world is about getting in touch with your own self-esteem and self-worth.
When we do so, we forge stronger and clearer boundaries and become less tolerant of things we shouldn’t be putting up with.
