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40+ things guys say and what they really mean [+ Examples]

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“What does he even mean by that?”

So many times a guy will say something that can be taken in many different ways.

Now I am here, your professional guy explainer.

Let me tell you what we mean when we say things like the following common phrases…

40+ things guys say and what they really mean [+ Examples]

Without further ado, here we go on the list.

If guys are saying the words in bold then they probably mean something a little different or at least more specific.

1) “We should hang out sometime”

He’s asking you out but too afraid or immature to just straight up say it, so he’s hedging his bets by using weasel words like “hang out.”

Option two is that he means a purely physical hookup and is hoping “hang out” can cover his bases and be vague enough to potentially lead to some pillow passion.

Still, don’t hold this kind of indirectness against him.

Maybe he’s just shy.

That can be cute, right?

The truth is that if you’re into someone there’s really no wrong way for them to ask you out.

And if you’re not into someone there’s really no right way for them to ask you out.

Ain’t that the truth…

2) “Our friendship means so much to me and I don’t want to wreck it”

He means he likes you as a friend and doesn’t see you in a sexual or romantic way.

You have been friendzoned.

Of course maybe he really does mean that your friendship means a lot.

But this sentence is hard to take in a romantic way.

He’s telling you very clearly that he doesn’t see you as more than a platonic friend.

Case settled.

3) “Let’s talk about it another time”

When a guy says this what he means is “I don’t ever want to talk about or think about this again please.”

It also usually means he is angry.

Unfortunately this is often the kind of thing that’s said just before a fight or in the middle of a fight…

Ah, love…

Have you ever asked yourself why love is so hard?

Why can’t it be how you imagined growing up? Or at least make some sense…

When you’re dealing with trying to understand what someone means when they say vague things, it’s easy to become frustrated and even feel helpless. You may even be tempted to throw in the towel and give up on love.

I want to suggest doing something different.

It’s something I learned from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me that the way to find love and intimacy is not what we have been culturally conditioned to believe.

In fact, many of us self-sabotage and trick ourselves for years, getting in the way of meeting a partner who can truly fulfill us.

As Rudá explains in this mind blowing free video, many of us chase love in a toxic way that ends up stabbing us in the back.

We get stuck in awful relationships or empty encounters, never really finding what we’re looking for and continuing to feel horrible about things like trying to interpret generic statements made by a guy.

We fall in love with an ideal version of someone instead of the real person.

We try to “fix” our partners and end up destroying relationships.

We try to find someone who “completes” us, only to fall apart with them next to us and feel twice as bad.

Rudá’s teachings showed me a whole new perspective.

While watching, I felt like someone understood my struggles to find and nurture love for the first time – and finally offered an actual, practical solution being able to communicate clearly in relationships.

If you’re done with unsatisfying dating, empty hookups, frustrating relationships and having your hopes dashed over and over, then this is a message you need to hear.

I guarantee you will not be disappointed.

Click here to watch the free video.

4) “Wow, you sound really passionate about this subject”

When a man says this, what he means is that you’re talking his ear off.

It basically means “slow down” and “chill.”

He’s telling you to take a breath or two as you launch into some passionate discourse.

As dating coach Ryan Patrick explains, this is generally a guy’s way of telling you that he’s kind of tired of the subject you’re discussing and finds your obsessive interest about it to be a bit over the top.

5) “I’m not into hookups”

When a guy says this it generally means that he’s had quite a few hookups or at least more than he’d like to admit.

It’s a deflective statement that has a twofold purpose.

Firstly, it means that he wants to present himself as a “serious” guy who doesn’t just sleep around and is worthy of your attention and sincere romantic interest.

Secondly, it generally means that he wants to cover over parts of his past that he may not be that proud of in terms of having had hookups.

6) “I don’t like girls who wear too much makeup”

When a guy says this he means that he doesn’t like party girls or those who overdo it on makeup.

He also is trying to present himself as more trad or looking for something more serious and committed.

“Makeup” here is code for modernity, showing off your beauty publicly, and so on.

He’s saying he’d like a girlfriend who saves most of her beauty for him.

It generally doesn’t have much to actually do with makeup itself.

As Chuck Henderson writes:

“I don’t know what I’m talking about.

Just don’t paint yourself up like a clown. It takes forever, it smells weird and if I touch you or kiss you, it gets all over me.”

7) “I’m just planning to relax tonight and stay in”

When a guy says this there are various things he might mean.

The three most common are that he is very tired, that he does not want to meet with you specifically, or that he is seeing another woman or planning to see her.

When dealing with this kind of confusion, you may feel lost and quite upset.

That’s understandable!

While this article explores the main examples of what guys really mean when they say certain common phrases, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and your experiences…

Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations, like understanding what a guy really means when he talks.

They’re a very popular resource for people facing this sort of challenge.

How do I know?

Well, I reached out to them a few months ago when I was going through a tough patch in my own relationship.

After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

Click here to get started.

8) “That’s cool”

This is a statement that usually means that a guy is tired of talking about something or doesn’t really want to pursue it further.

Secondly, it can be a way for him to be easygoing and signal to you that he’s confident.

By saying “that’s cool,” a guy indicates either that he’s not very into continuing on that subject;

Or he indicates that he’s cool with either continuing or discontinuing what you’re talking about, thereby signaling that he’s a chill and non-needy guy.

9) “It’s kind of complicated”

This kind of statement is another way for a guy to say he doesn’t want to talk about something.

He may say it in response to, for example, a question about his last relationship…

…Or to inquiries about an issue or problem that occurred in the past.

He might also say this if you ask about his job, basically meaning that he gets enough of his job at his job and isn’t overly into talking about it outside of work.

10) “I’m sorry about that”

The infamous apology…

Well, sure, sometimes it is absolutely sincere.

But in most cases a man says this because he’s sorry he got caught or blew something up into a bigger problem than it had to be.

As Henderson says:

“He doesn’t mean he’s actually regretting what he did.

Usually he’s regretting that it upset you enough to make it a big enough deal that he now has to apologize.”

11) “You look really good”

This is usually what a guy says when his girlfriend or wife is taking too long to get ready for something.

He’s saying to stop fussing with your hair and clothes and be ready to leave already.

Alternately, a guy may say this as a prelude to sex.

Code: cracked.

12) “I’m not really looking for a relationship right now”

This may hurt a bit to hear, but in 99% of cases this means I’m not looking for a relationship with you.

Even the biggest player often ends up falling in love and marrying despite his worst intentions.

So if a guy is specifically telling you he doesn’t want a relationship it generally means he doesn’t see you as girlfriend material.

13) “Oh, you have kids? That’s cool”

What he usually means is that it’s definitely not cool.

Many guys would prefer to date or be with someone who doesn’t have kids.

Fair, unfair? Maybe so, but it’s true.

And it’s especially often true if he himself also doesn’t have kids yet and hopes to start a family of his own.

14) “My last breakup was mutual”

Let’s be real here:

This likely means he was dumped, and it was probably pretty ugly too.

If a guy is going out of his way to tell you his last breakup was mutual…

Then his last breakup was probably not mutual.

Just sayin’.

15) “I don’t think I’m the right guy for you”

He just wanted sex from you or wants to break things off with you and try to make it about him not being good enough or “right” for you.

The reality is, of course, the inverse:

He doesn’t feel you’re the right girl for him.

But by making it about his own insufficiency or being ill-suited for you, he takes away much of your ability to argue.

After all, his perception that he’s not the guy for you is his perception. It’s kind of hard for you to force him to see he’s the right guy for you!

16) “I think we’re on different paths and have different values”

This is a breakup quote.

It can be pretty much copy-pasted by any guy.

Sometimes it’s true, sometimes it’s not.

But if he’s saying it to you then you know he’s not looking to continue this connection anywhere past sleeping with you a couple of times.

17) “I feel a special connection with you”

When a guy says this it usually means he is fishing for reciprocation.

In other words, he wants to see if you feel the same.

I have said this sentence a couple of times and the reason was always that I actually did feel a special connection and wanted to know if she did, too.

18) “You have such beautiful eyes”

These are love words, make no mistake about it.

If a guy is noticing your eyes and commenting on your eyes, he’s likely getting some deeper feelings for you.

However, and this is an important caveat:

If he’s a heartless player then he may also be faking love and being dazed by your gaze just to get in your skirt.

Tell me, why do players have to ruin everything?

19) “What turns you on most in a guy”

This is a sex question.

He’s basically asking you what turns you on and seeing if he can fit the bill.

Women looking for something serious generally answer with things like “principles, character, responsibility, a sense of humor…”

But most guys ask this because they’re just wondering if their biceps make you wet and want a chance to find out.

20) “Do you feel a special connection too”

This is similar to point 17.

It’s what a guy asks when he wants to know if a girl is also feeling some love vibes.

He’s basically checking if he’s in this boat alone or whether you’re also potentially going to join him in this relation-ship.

Come for the article, stay for the boat puns…

21) “Do you think we have a future together”

Asking this is generally something a guy does if you’re in the early stages of dating but not yet very serious or exclusive.

He’s basically checking your temperature and seeing how much he should invest at this point.

It also often means he’s beginning to fall for you and wants to make sure he doesn’t jump off a cliff alone.

22) “I’m really busy right now, sorry”

This is simply something a guy says when he doesn’t want to talk to you.

If he is actually really busy and can’t talk, this will always be followed up with a “…but can we touch base later,” type of statement.

But if it’s just this and nothing else?

It’s a brush off.

23) “Absolutely, completely true. Great point”

These are often the kind of bold affirmative statements guys make when trying to flatter a girl.

This is him more or less trying to butter you up or get your affection back.

He wants you to know he finds you brilliant! (And he definitely was not just eyeing your breasts!)

24) “Uh huh”

OK, this one is obvious, right?

It means that he wasn’t listening to you or doesn’t care what you were saying.

“Uh huh” is the kind of thing guys seem to learn from their mother’s milk

Every man is born with a limitless supply of “uh huhs” and not afraid to use them.

I know I’m not…

25) “What are you doing”

This is a guy’s way of asking if you’re busy or you want to talk, generally via text or in a call.

It’s also a way to basically see what mood you’re in.

If you respond positively then he’ll take it as an invitation to interact. If you respond minimally or don’t answer he’ll leave things as they are…

26) “What are you wearing right now”

If a guy asks what you’re wearing right now, it’s probably not because he’s just been hired as a style consultant for Calvin Klein.

It’s probably because he wants to know what your panties look like and see if he can get a snap of them.

This is a sexting chat or direct booty call, straight up.

27) “I’m emotionally unavailable”

If a guy tells you he is emotionally unavailable it usually means that he is telling you he has a high amount of self-knowledge or that he doesn’t want you to fall for him.

It’s the equivalent of putting on hockey pads before skating out on the ice.

What he’s saying is this:

“Don’t try to get too serious too fast, ‘cause I’ll run.”

28) “Sometimes you confuse me a bit”

This means that he’s quite upset and you confuse the hell out of him.

It can even be the kind of thing a guy says before pulling the plug on a relationship.

If he says you confuse him it means he’s annoyed.

29) “That’s a really sensitive subject for me”

This is what a guy says when he doesn’t want to discuss something or you have touched on a nerve.

For example, perhaps you asked him about a hard time in his past or about a breakup.

Or maybe you’re inquiring about a health struggle he had or a loss he experienced.

He means that he’s not ready to discuss it.

30) “I like you a lot, but I don’t know…”

This statement sounds great, at first.

The “I don’t know” is the kicker.

He’s breaking up with you, or at least giving himself an exit.

This means he’s not into it or has decided against being with you.

31) “Maybe you’re right”

If a guy says that you are probably right what he generally means is that he doesn’t care if you’re right.

He just wants the conversation to end.

He’s willing to offer you this peaceful truce if you’ll accept it.

But deep down he probably doesn’t agree.

32) “Whatever”

Whatever is basically guy speak for “fuck you.”

If a guy says this it usually means he’s angry or at least fine with pissing you off and telling you that he doesn’t care what you say.

33) “I feel like we barely ever talk”

If a man says this to you it means he wants more you time.

He wants to talk with you, be affectionate with you and see you more.

He’s telling you he feels a lack of your presence in his life.

Needy or genuine? You be the judge. It really depends on context and the nature of your relationship.

34) “Do you have to post everything online”

This means that a guy is getting jealous of you posting too many hot selfies online.

It can also mean that he feels you are talking too much with other guys online and sharing too much of yourself to the public.

Is it a possessive thing to say? Sure.

Is it sometimes a fair criticism? Absolutely.

35) “Please don’t tell me what to do”

When it comes to things guys say and what they really mean, this is about as close as it gets to a cognate.

He’s telling you to stop ordering him around.

The “please” is just sarcastic icing on the cake. He’s not asking, he’s telling.

36) “Please try to see my point of view”

What this means is that a guy is asking you to respect his difference in opinion or experience.

While he recognizes you may be on a different page than him, he’s requesting that you please give him the space and respect to acknowledge that he sees things differently.

37) “You mean everything to me”

If a man tells you this it is generally because he’s afraid of losing you or has realized just how much you mean to him.

Nice!

At the same time, if a guy drops this too soon into knowing you then it’s a fairly needy thing to say.

Everyone knows women want a guy who’s also focused on his mission and has a high sense of self-worth, not just a simp who’s ready to change everything to be with her.

38) “I love you”

Those three words. This is big news.

If a guy says this, he either means it or is just a really good liar.

Let’s hope it’s the former!

When it comes to things guys say and what they really mean, “I love you” is hopefully one of those times where the two aspects line up completely.

He says he loves you because to the best of his life experience, judgment and emotions he 100% does truly love you.

Congratulations!

39) “Are you more introverted or extroverted”

Asking this is a way of taking your temperature.

He’s checking on whether you’re more into going out for a party or staying in for a quiet dinner.

He’s fishing for date ideas and getting to know you better.

40) “So, do you know him well”

This one falls under potential jealousy…

He’s checking how close you are to another guy and seeing if that guy might be a rival for your heart.

41) “I know what you mean”

Generally this means a guy is bored of a certain topic and doesn’t really want to talk about it.

The statement is so vague that it basically says the conversation is over.

It’s one of those things guys say and what they really mean is “meh.”

42) “I don’t talk to my family that much”

This is a man’s way of telling you that he doesn’t have that close of a relationship with his family.

Maybe bonds are frayed or there was conflict…

Or maybe he’s just been very busy and his family has taken a backseat.

It really depends on whether or not he wants to go into more detail.

43) “What’s your dream job”

In terms of things guys say and what they really mean, this one is basically self-explanatory.

He’s seeing what makes you tick and what drives you professionally.

He may also be hinting at your openness to having kids and staying home or seeing whether you’re completely focused on career for the future.

44) “What are your dreams for the future”

Asking your dreams for the future is a way of checking if he might be part of them and seeing if your dreams might line up with his.

This also gives him the chance to get to know you better and see what drives you and what you want from life.

Translating guy-speak

In terms of things guys say and what they really mean, I hope the above list is beneficial to you.

Of course every guy is different, but most of us share common traits.

Furthermore, with more and more men having grown up to single moms, indirect communication is a growing trend among men.

The time was guys were more direct, but that’s shifting.

So be on the lookout for some of these above statements, which can often be loaded with subtext and other meanings.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.

Written by Paul Brian

I’m a multimedia journalist with experience in print, photography, video, and online. My passion is reporting on individuals, faiths, nations, and situations that impact us all on the journey of life.

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