What are the top things guys like in bed but won’t ask for?
That’s a question I’ve heard a lot of ladies in my life ask about and it’s your lucky day because I’m a guy and I’m here to tell you.
Yay. Right? Are you excited? I’m excited. Let’s gooo…
I’m not going to hold anything back: I’m going to thrust deeply into this subject and tell you the raw, dirty truth about what guys like in bed but are too shy, embarrassed or even ashamed to admit.
Luckily for you, I’m not shy and I’m known for my brutal honesty.
Sometimes speaking your mind with no filter can really pay off guys, I’m just saying.
Back to the subject: stuff guys want in bed but don’t usually ask for.
There might even be a bit of romantic stuff in here because I can be a goddamn sap sometimes if you want to know the truth.
So this is it:
The big list, the intimate bingo card that will show you how to make our manly legs tremble like spaghetti and make us buck around like a wild stallion.
This list is not for the faint of heart but if you want to know how to make your man go wild then read on brave explorer.
1) Making us work for it
Guys get more turned on when you make them work for it. That’s a scientific fact, so take it to the bank Galileo.
What do I count as being in this category? Lap dances, light stroking, massages, flirtatious texts, revealing lingerie, almost kissing us, and then pulling back.
Make it clear that bedroom time with you is a privilege, not an entitlement, and draw out the suspense.
Once we’re literally drooling then you can let us have a piece of the pie.
Don’t give it away.
Make us work for it.
2) Tell us what you want
Now and then a guy just wants to dominate and it can be a turn-on for his woman too, but in other cases, it’s nice when a woman tells us what she wants.
Don’t just say “spank my ass,” say: “spank my big round ass so hard!”
I’m not saying you need a Ph. D in dirty talk, but try being a little dirty and specific and see what happens.
Guide your man and show him you’re in charge.
Now and then spoon him instead of him spooning you. Look after us men, there are times when we just need to be held by our woman after a rigorous session of lovemaking.
3) Tease the hell out of us 24/7
This is related to the first point, but I want to emphasize and expand on it.
Teasing the hell out of a guy in bed is something he often won’t ask for but secretly craves.
Find our erogenous zones and caress and lick and touch them. I’m getting hot just thinking about it.
Whether it’s using your tongue on our balls, rimming or even kinkier stuff try to tease us with it.
Talk in detail about fantasies and roleplay with us. Tease us in public with a revealing skirt or touching us under a table and get us wild before taking us home and having your way with us.
Tell us you’re going to let us fuck you and then don’t let us – and wake us up in the middle of the night and let us. I know it sounds messed up but it’s really a turn-on when you tease and torture us guys.
We are odd, horny creatures us guys.
4) Threesome or group sex
This is one of the biggest things guys like in bed but won’t ask for: threesomes and group sex.
For obvious reasons we’re a little y’know, worried and all about how you womenfolk might react to such a perverted and outrageous suggestion.
But it turns us on. Sorry, just being honest.
I know it doesn’t turn every guy on and I have some guy friends who would find it a disgusting suggestion, but at least in my case, it gets my hormones humming.
Yes, I can say that my lovely girlfriend has let me do a threesome (with her lovely friend…let’s call her Charlotte), but then again it’s important to respect your partner’s decision on this and not push it. Also, keep in mind it can lead to jealousy and bring out issues in your relationship, plus it can bring up worries about STDs and such so only do it with someone you trust and feel comfortable around.
5) Manual labor
By manual here I mean the original root of the word – as in by hand.
There’s really something sexy as fuck about a woman with elegant, beautiful hands. The only thing that’s even hotter is when they’re wrapped around our tuna torpedo.
Paint up your nails real nice too if you want and try out some lubricant as well. Make yourself at home little lady.
You can also use those lovely hands to caress all up and down our back, our butts, our balls: the sky is the limit, just be gentle.
Feeling your touch gets the hairs to stand up on our arms and necks and gets our Jurassic Pork standing tall and ready to welcome visitors.
6) Make the first move
Sometimes it’s the ultimate turn on to have the woman make the first move.
I remember the first time a beautiful female pushed me up against a wall and kissed me and let’s just say it is right up there in my lifetime highlight reel.
So if your guy is looking bored or down why not try cuddling up to him and getting the intimate tango started?
There’s no guarantee that he’ll be in the mood for sure but on the other hand when was the last time a guy turned down sex?
Disclaimer: I just turned down sex to play Cyberpunk 2077.
7) Try new positions
Consult the Kamasutra if that’s what it takes, or just go hunt around YouTube.
There are a lot of sex positions. It’s actually kind of mindblowing – and who knew she could blow from that angle?
So, try it out, and when in doubt take it slow. You don’t want to pull a leg muscle on Tuesday night with a long work week ahead of you.
Well, maybe you do – sometimes it’s worth it.
But seriously, as a woman when you suggest new positions and are open to them it turns guys on. We feel like we’re kings and it strokes our ego and makes us all kinds of excited and horny.
So start doing your graduate research, because this university is accepting grant applications.
8) Take it outside
This depends on the guy for sure but outdoor sex can be really exciting and stimulating.
Scope out somewhere private like the little nature lover you are and then introduce us into your magical mystery world. Take us on a little kayak trip on the lake and then point out a secluded beach and wink.
Lead your guy up a mountain path and then take a little detour to pleasure land…
There’s a lot of fun and adventure to be had outdoors, but it’s one of those things guys like in bed but won’t ask for because it might seem too much like a fetish or risky.
The thing is that as long as you’re careful you should be fine.
9) Keep it real
Fake orgasms are like a slap in the face. Although I wouldn’t know because for sure no woman ever did one with me.
Well, anyway. I really advise women to treat us guys genuinely. If you don’t climax it’s OK. We get turned on when you’re turned on.
Plus we learn what gives you the most pleasure from your noises and words. If we think you orgasmed in a certain position or from some type of stimulation we’re likely going to try it again.
And if you didn’t even enjoy it that much for real the first time that would really be a drag, wouldn’t it?
10) Prepare for pleasure
I know that in my case I get really turned on by a woman who takes care of herself such as shaving her legs, waxing, plucking any hairs, and caring for her hair, eyebrows, nails, and so on.
I’ve met some very attractive women in my day who ultimately just didn’t quite do it for me because they didn’t look after themselves.
Taking your time and making yourself shine really pays off. And I know the same thing is true for men too: when we care for ourselves women notice and we stand out.
So I really advise taking that little bit extra time to primp yourself, buy sexy clothes, wear nice shoes and get your style and body care at max. It’s going to turn us on and get us going in a beeline straight for the bedroom, trust me.
11) Control his orgasm
There’s a time for letting go and a time for slowing it down.
Isn’t that a song by the Byrds from the 60s or something? Anyway, controlling our orgasm can drive us wild. It does for me anyway.
I’m a bit of an upside-down dude. When a girl is too open I start feeling more pressure but when she acts more controlling and makes me feel a bit dirty I get really turned on.
It’s like if you tell someone whatever you do don’t eat that delicious oatmeal chocolate cookie right there.
What do you do?
You eat the damn cookie and it tastes amazing.
So when you tell us not to climax and we try not to it increases the pleasure and leads to an ecstatic tension, heightening the pleasure of the release.
12) The beauty of smell…
When you wear a nice subtle perfume or wash your clothes and hair with lovely smelling products we notice.
And it makes our lance of love perk right up too. It’s just so pleasant and sexy to be around a woman who smells incredible.
It’s almost physically pleasurable to breathe in her scent, I think like Al Pacino’s character said something of the sort in that Scent of a Woman Movie, right?
You get the drift. Smell great for us and we will turn into drooling monkeys.
13) Being allowed to dominate
Like I wrote earlier, sometimes we like you to initiate sex and dominate and guide and tell us what to do.
It turns us on that you control our climax and hold us back and tease us.
But other times we just want to open the floodgates and train to be a professional mattress tester.
It’s such a turn on when a beautiful woman surrenders her pink petal of love to me in trust and intimacy…
There’s a reason that 50 Shades of Grey was so popular:
Women get turned on by it too. At least some women.
And if you’re one of those women I want to meet you (joking, joking, sorry to my wonderful girlfriend, I love you, please don’t kill me).
14) Vocalize (but don’t fake it)
No guy I know wants his girl to sound like a wacked out pornstar.
But on the other hand, we’re also not generally turned on by making love to a professional mime star from the silent film era.
With that in mind feel free to vocalize how you feel and let us know what you like with your noises and moans and everything else.
I know that in my case it really turns me on to hear involuntary sounds of pleasure come from my girlfriend.
So what I’m saying is basically be open to making noise and let it come naturally if it does…
15) Shake that booty
Maybe I’m just an ass man, but there’s nothing like when a woman shakes her booty for you in bed.
In general, guys get their motors cranked by a lady who likes to move.
The human starfish is not a sexy position and if you’re lying there like you’re waiting for the laundry to dry – and maybe you actually are waiting for the laundry to dry – it’s going to cause a guy to go soft as a salamander.
So I really encourage you to move your body.
Think of it as sexercise.
Get the whole room shaking and make us shake with pleasure.
16) Being treated like a king
This probably sounds egotistical but fuck it. Guys like to be treated like kings by their women.
At least most guys I know like to.
We don’t expect you to cater to every whim we have or do everything we want in bed, and like I said earlier on this list we appreciate it when you sometimes take the lead.
I mean but…
We appreciate that loving affection and attention, and if you love up on us the right way we’ll treat you like the princess you truly are.
Here’s the deal ladies:
Every guy is different. We’re all our own sort of special little flower.
But you didn’t need me to tell you that. However, as a red-blooded man in his sexual prime (just ask my gf about that) I think that my above suggestions are on the money for turning your man on.
Try them out and let me know.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
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