13 things genuinely happy couples never do in their relationships

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

Happy couples are the result of two people’s commitment to each other and their relationship. Creating a strong and long-lasting bond requires effort, respect, communication, and love. Those who understand this lay the foundation for a deep and meaningful relationship.

How can you truly tell if someone is sincerely happy with their relationship?

Well, there are 13 things genuinely happy couples never do in their relationships. 

1) Keep score of past wrongs

Genuinely happy couples don’t dwell on the past. They put their energies into building a better future together and don’t let negative memories from their pasts affect them or their relationship.

As they prioritize trust, positivity, and responsiveness over keeping score of past wrongs, happy couples establish healthy dynamics of teamwork that deepen trust and prevent toxic behaviors and misunderstandings.

These habits strengthen relationships and mitigate the risk of irreconcilable differences.

2) They criticize each other to put them down

Healthy criticism is a valuable part of any relationship. But genuinely happy couples never criticize their partners to put them down.

Instead, they uplift each other and speak positively about one another to avoid negativity and resentment.

They frame their words in a way that encourages growth and helps both partners become better versions of themselves without causing emotional pain.

3) They engage in mind games

Mind games are healthy to the extent that they can help improve communication and spice in the relationship.

However, the happiest couples refrain from using manipulative techniques to get what they want out of their relationships.

In the first place, the mindset they have is focused on mutual respect and trust. That means there is no need for power struggles or manipulation.

Instead, they have the compatibility and emotional intelligence to reach agreements without using sneaky tactics.

Simply put, they don’t play games or try to fake emotions.

They stay honest and sincere at all times so that their relationship remains strong and healthy.

4) Control each other in the relationship

Control is a sign of insecurity. Most of the time, at least.

Do you know what makes a good relationship work? Mutual respect and trust. It’s about understanding each other without being controlling.

Who doesn’t crave a relationship where you can just be yourself? It is like having a lifelong bestie who loves you for the real you!

With that said, they are supportive and understanding of one another’s preferences and choices. 

They don’t judge or criticize the other when their decisions differ from theirs; instead, they find ways to compromise on mutual agreements for the betterment of their relationship. 

More importantly, they let their partners do their own thing.

5) They don’t take time for themselves

Happy couples understand that taking time for self-care is essential to a healthy relationship.

This doesn’t translate to disengagement or neglecting each other. Rather, it is a way for them to recharge while getting some “me time” in so they can come back to each other with fresh perspectives and renewed energy.

They break away from being together all the time, without losing sight of cherishing those moments.

Thank God for text messaging and email, right? You can still stay in touch and connected even while pursuing individual interests or hobbies.

6) They don’t show appreciation

Showing gratitude and appreciation may seem like an easy thing to do.  However, it is a habit many of us neglect. This helps them feel valued and loved, which in turn strengthens their bond.

But for couples who are truly happy, showing appreciation is never taken for granted. They make sure to express their thankfulness to each other regularly. They recognize the little things they do for one another – from taking out the garbage to keeping the toilet seat down.

They express their gratitude for these things, both verbally and through acts of love.

7) They hold grudges

Holding grudges is a surefire way to fuel unhappy relationships

You see, when you hold onto old hurts and wounds on a daily basis, you’re punishing your partner for something that has already been dealt with, and that can create a toxic environment. 

Genuinely happy couples don’t hold grudges. They manage their mental health even with the tough conversations and disagreements, so they can move on from hurt feelings quickly and with grace.

No sweeping any issues under the rug! It is all about transparency, forgiveness, and moving forward together. 

They recognize that forgiveness isn’t about forgetting. It is more about releasing anger and resentment to make way for a more authentic connection. 

It is about being willing to see each other’s intentions as love, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

8) They blame each other for their problems

Truly happy couples don’t play the blame game. With emotional intelligence, they recognize that both contribute to the problem and therefore, both must be part of the solution.

They avoid pointing fingers by accepting their own mistakes, taking ownership of them, and using this as an opportunity for growth.

As if that is not enough, they focus on understanding their partners’ feelings and using this shared knowledge to heal the relationship when lines have crossed and mistakes are made.

I’m sure you’re with me on this one when I say that whatever issues couples have, it is better to keep them between themselves and not involve unnecessary parties.

9) They air out their dirty laundry to other people

Relationships aren’t perfect. Happy couples have issues and bad habits too. 

But what distinguishes a content couple from an unhappy one is their communication.

Genuinely happy couples are honest with each other, but they don’t go around telling everyone their problems. They keep private matters between them and work through the issues together in private. 

Heck, you wouldn’t read their issues on email and social media at all.

This preserves the trust, respect, and security of the relationship, and allows them to work on solutions in a private, respectful way.

10) They pretend to be something they’re not

You guessed it! Genuinely happy couples are genuinely themselves. 

What does this mean?

They don’t try to fit into a mold or hide behind facades just to keep their partners happy. As such, the safe space they created in the relationship gives them the freedom to talk freely and be vulnerable.

They embrace and build on who they are as individuals so that their relationship can be stronger than ever.

Being loved and accepted wholeheartedly is fundamental to a healthy and genuinely happy relationship. Pretending to be someone else causes frustration, and resentment, and damages the relationship.

11) Use insult and intimidation to get their way

Insults and intimidation can have a profoundly negative impact on a relationship. 

Happy couples avoid behaviors that harm their emotional bond. Name-calling, publicly humiliating, and personally attaching to a partner’s family are counterproductive and cause lasting damage.

Happy couples communicate effectively without insults or intimidation. 

They listen and validate each other’s perspectives. That creates a respectful and safe environment for mutual support, even when they disagree.

12) They don’t ignore their partner’s needs

Healthy couples who are genuinely happy prioritize their partner’s needs by making communication and compromise a top priority.

A strong relationship is built on communication and mutual understanding. Happy couples recognize the significance of their partner’s needs, feelings, values, and desires.

Weekly date nights, spending Christmas a the home of a close family member, or simply showing some affection while watching TV are all small yet meaningful gestures that demonstrate to one another that you love and care for them

By prioritizing their needs, happy couples make sure they feel valued, respected, and loved. 

At the end of the day, these feelings create a strong foundation of trust and safety in the relationship—something essential to its health and longevity. 

13) They don’t use ultimatums to get what they want

Genuinely happy couples understand that ultimatums have no place in a healthy relationship. The thing is, using threats of abandonment or making your partner feel disposable can weaken the emotional bond and lead to frustration and insecurity. 

Not only are ultimatums on a regular basis a sign of inflexibility, but they also indicate a reluctance to budge or adapt – not great for any healthy relationship!

Happy couples communicate honestly, listen with kindness and respect during tough conversations, and collaborate to find solutions.

By nurturing bonds of trust, mutual respect, and security, they’re able to cultivate fulfilling relationships that last.

Win with true happiness and intimacy

If you want to win in the dating world and have a great relationship, understanding the things genuinely happy couples never do in their relationships is key. 

To build a lasting bond, prioritize your partner’s needs, communicate honestly, and avoid insults and gossip.

Above all, focus on building trust and security in the relationship: be best friends, share passions, listen, and understand each other.

Over time, the bond between two individuals embarking on a journey of genuine happiness grows unbreakable. You will witness just how strong it can become!

Frankie Pascua-dela Pasion

Frankie was born and raised in Manila, Philippines. She is a graduate of Humanities from the University of Asia and the Pacific.

Frankie is a seasoned Customer Success and Human Resources professional. She is also a certified Life Coach and Career Strategist. She helps people young and young at heart to simplify their lives by creating emotional awareness. She also loves working with people who have a genuine interest in breaking their inner limits through their journey of self-discovery and authenticity in their personal and professional lives.

Frankie’s recent venture into writing is fueled by her passion for human connection and meaningful relationships at home, at work, and basically everywhere. She enjoys the research, discovery, and reflection that go into each article as much as she writes about them, in the hopes that her words resonate with, and give perspective to her audience.

Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn: Frankie Pascua-dela Pasion

11 signs you’re actually more driven and ambitious than most people realize

8 warning signs you’re compromising too much in your relationships (and what to do)