Far from being all about the bling, true class is often a quiet attribute.
It’s something that is subtly exuded rather than loudly announced.
With that in mind, there are certain things that genuinely classy people typically keep to themselves.
Here are the things that you won’t find them revealing to just anyone.
1) The precise figure of their bank balance
In fact, you won’t find them discussing their material possessions much at all.
So they’re not going to run you through the great expense they went to on their home remodeling project.
They won’t tell you about the eye-watering cost of their last vacation or how much they spent on their new car.
We often think that wealth and class are synonymous, but that’s really not the case.
Class is defined by how we carry ourselves and treat others. It’s got zilch to do with how much money or possessions you have.
That’s why classy individuals don’t need to discuss their financial status. If they happen to have more than you, it’s never something they will rub in your face.
They believe that wealth doesn’t define a person. Instead, they focus on character and personal attributes.
It’s not about how much money they have in the bank. It’s about who they are as individuals.
2) What they’re up to 24-7 on social media
I get that we live in a social media age, where we share plenty of details of our lives with our followers and friends.
I’m certainly not a social media snob. They are fun and useful tools for networking, connecting with like-minded people, and even finding love.
But we still have to be mindful.
What we reveal online is going to be floating around for years to come. Some things once out there we can never take back.
That means our social media use needs a certain amount of responsibility too.
Otherwise, social media can end up controlling us, rather than the other way around.
If you plaster every single thing you do all over your feed, it starts to smack of desperation.
Classy people are too busy out there living their best lives to stop and post 1001 envy-inducing posts out into the world.
Genuinely classy people don’t brag, boast, or seek attention. That goes for online, just as much as it does in person.
3) Their negative assumptions about others
I don’t care who you are, we all judge people.
Part of it is human nature.
Research has shown that we likely form a first impression within less than a second.
As we have evolved living in communities, it pays to try to get an instant read on others.
We interpret countless small details from our encounters and form judgments, often subconsciously.
The real problem arises when we:
- Hold on to these ill-formed superficial judgments without digging deeper
- Use our negative judgments to gossip or be unkind
We may not get a great vibe from someone, but we don’t need to share this with everyone else, and certainly when there is no cause to.
Classy people understand the value of respect and maintain a certain level of decorum in their interactions. They believe that everyone has their own journey and it’s not their place to judge.
It’s important to remember, when we engage in malicious gossip it usually says a lot more about us than the person we’re bad-mouthing.
Plus, there is a good chance it will come back and bite you in the ass.
4) Intimate details of their sex life
Some things should stay between two people.
That includes the ins and outs (no pun intended) of your sex life.
It’s tasteless and potentially disrespectful to give away juicy details about what goes on in the bedroom.
As therapist and relationship expert Dr Jenn Mann explains, couples should create a privacy bubble around themselves.
“If you are worried about technique or whether something you’re doing is “normal,” those discussions need to be had with your boyfriend instead of your girlfriends. Otherwise, you can always Google or talk to a professional (everything said in a therapy session is confidential). So that weird thing that happened during your sexual experimentation together? Laugh about it with each other, not with friends.”
Classy people aren’t lose-lipped about intimacy. They keep it between the people it involves rather than divulging it freely to others.
5) The good deeds they do
Sure it feels good when you do nice things.
But your selfless act becomes slightly less so when you have to let everyone else know what a hero you are.
The reason it’s tasteless is that it lacks humility and smacks of gloating. It also makes it more about you than it is about doing a kind thing.
Classy individuals help others without seeking recognition. They believe in the power of doing good and being generous.
They don’t do good deeds for the sake of being seen or thanked. They do it because it’s the right thing to do.
6) Too much too soon
It’s not that classy people hold back.
Vulnerability is essential if we are to form sincere and meaningful connections with others.
The aim isn’t to be aloof or mysterious.
It’s all about finding the right balance. Because building a relationship with anyone in any form is an unfolding process.
It has layers to it that we cannot and should not rush. When we do it can make people feel uncomfortable.
That means divulging your deepest darkest secrets when you first meet someone is usually viewed as inappropriate.
That’s not to say you cannot have deep and interesting conversations.
But it’s best to be mindful of how much you reveal about yourself so that you don’t offer up too much personal information too soon.
7) Family secrets
For starters, if a secret isn’t exclusively yours to tell, then it’s probably unfair to do so.
Beyond that, we also owe it to the people we are closest to to protect them.
Sharing private and potentially damaging information about family members, or even friends is a big no-no to those with decency.
That’s why, for classy people, family secrets stay hidden in the vaults, only to be discussed at the appropriate time and place.
8) A catalog of their achievements and accomplishments
It’s not that they aren’t quite rightly proud of themselves, it’s that they don’t feel the need to flaunt it.
Classy people rarely bring up their glowing achievements, instead, they stay grounded and humble.
The reality is that the sort of pride that prompts people to try to impress everyone comes from insecurity more than a big ego.
That’s why classy types don’t feel the need to constantly remind others of their successes.
They believe actions speak louder than words, so they let their accomplishments speak for themselves.
9) The details of past feuds or fallouts they’ve had
There are a couple of good reasons why classy people hardly ever discuss past dramas.
Firstly, they prefer to move on rather than hold a grudge. They realize that retelling the same old sob story about how they were wronged will only serve to keep them stuck.
It’s over, so they don’t see the point in still talking about it.
Secondly, they refuse to make themselves a victim. By rehashing the past, it can rob you of your power in the present.
We all need to share past hurts. But classy people don’t periodically roll them out to anyone who will listen looking for sympathy.
10) Who they know
They say it’s not what you know, but who you know that counts.
It may well be true. It certainly seems that nepotism is alive and kicking.
But name-dropping or showing off about certain connections is always going to look vulgar.
It’s just an attempt to bolster your own status through association. People do it to try to seem cooler, more confident, or more successful than they really are.
That’s why you’ll never see a genuinely classy person revealing their personal contacts in an attempt to impress or win favor.
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