Kiran Athar
The world is full of judgment, especially online.
But one place where we should undoubtedly feel secure in expressing our true selves is in the comforting presence of our good friends.
They support us, encourage us and avoid jumping to conclusions or judging the decisions we make!
In this article, I’ll be sharing 12 things genuine friends aren’t judgmental about.
Let’s jump straight in!
1) Your past
Everyone has a past – but not everyone admits to it. Fear of being shamed or judged is usually the reason, so if you’ve got genuine friends who accept your past for what it is, you’re lucky!
They don’t hold your past against you or allow it to influence how they see you NOW.
Genuine friends are a blessing because rather than judge you, they help you work through past traumas!
In fact, they can be instrumental in your healing process, as long as you open up to them and share your vulnerabilities.
2) Your relationships
We’ve all been in relationships that our loved ones might disapprove of…but genuine friends will accept it regardless of their personal feelings.
Instead of judging you, their main concern is whether you’re:
- Happy
- Fulfilled in this relationship
- Being respected and valued
They don’t care if the person you’re dating is tall, short, old, or young, they just want the best for you!
And since they’re genuine friends, they want to be around for you if things don’t work out. By reserving judgment, they avoid potential rifts from arising in your friendship.
3) Your appearance
We can’t help the way we look, and unfortunately, there are (cruel) people out there who will judge you for your appearance.
But not genuine friends.
They look past the surface, in fact, they simply don’t care what you look like. They connect with you on a much deeper level!
So, regardless of your features, what you wear, or how you style your hair, you know you can always rely on them.
The truth is, this shows that they care for you unconditionally. It’s not a case of, “If you don’t look good, I don’t want to be seen out with you” as we sadly see so often.
If you’ve got genuine friends like this, hold onto them for dear life!
4) Your career choices
Another thing genuine friends aren’t judgmental about is your career choice.
They may not understand it, and they may not like it, but they’ll support you regardless!
They want you to be content in life, so whatever career choice you make, they’ll always be there to lend a supportive shoulder to lean on.
When you’re working late nights and you’re struggling to keep up with your other responsibilities in life, they’ll step up to the plate and help you out.
The point is, they know it’s not their place to judge how you choose to make a living!
5) Your beliefs and values
Growing up, I had very different beliefs and values due to my culture and religion. None of my friends were brought up the same way as I was.
But my genuine friends never made it an issue.
They would go out of their way to be respectful, celebrate my religious traditions, and stick up for me against those who were intolerant.
When you have friends like this, you feel like you can take on the world!
Because the truth is, our beliefs and values are personal to us. Genuine friends get that. That’s why they don’t allow these differences to get in the way of a great friendship!
And that’s not all – people like this recognize how much more enriching it is to have friends from diverse backgrounds. We can all learn from each other.
6) Your financial situation
Have you ever been down on your luck financially, and all of a sudden your “friends” disappear?
No one wants to know you unless you can keep up with going out and having fun. They judge you based on your salary, which is incredibly shallow.
That is, except for genuine friends.
They won’t:
- Make you feel bad for your financial struggles
- Pressure you into spending money you can’t afford to lose
- Make you feel like a failure
Here’s the thing – a genuine friend will see how much you’re struggling, so rather than make plans to go out and eat, they’ll invite you to come around and offer to cook for you!
They have faith that you’ll pick yourself back up and get your finances in order and until then?
They’ll support you, encourage you, and uplift you!
7) Your hobbies and interests
Many people think that you have to have tons in common to be good friends with someone, but there are plenty of cases where opposites attract in friendship, too.
So, even if your hobbies are different from your friends, if they’re genuine, they won’t judge you for it.
If anything, they’ll show an interest, even if they don’t plan on participating themselves!
This is called respect.
They don’t have to agree, like, or want the same as you, but they can respect your choices.
And ultimately, genuine friends just want to see you happy – if your quirky hobbies do that for you, then so be it!
8) Your boundaries
Boundaries are a healthy part of any friendship, but fake friends will quickly let their disapproval of your limits known.
Genuine friends, on the other hand, will respect you for them.
They won’t judge you or pry into the “whys” of your boundaries if you’re not ready to explain.
They’ll simply accept them, so long as they’re within reason.
By doing this, they show how much they value YOU as a person and also the friendship you share.
Even if they don’t understand your boundaries, they can appreciate that you’ve put them in place for a reason!
9) Your emotional struggles
Another thing genuine friends aren’t judgemental about is your emotional struggles.
The truth is, there’s nothing worse than going through a rough patch in life, turning to a friend, and being ridiculed or ignored!
Even worse is if someone tries to minimize your struggle with things like, “Oh, it’s not that bad, you’ll be fine soon.”
But that’s when a genuine friend will swoop in and:
- Validate your feelings
- Listen to you and display empathy
- Support you as you go through this tough time
- Never make you feel bad for having emotions
If you’ve got friends who do this for you, never take their kindness for granted!
Genuine friends can make a world of difference during turbulent times, so lean on them, but make sure to be mindful that you’re not draining them in the process – it’s all about finding a balance.
10) Your family history
Although we’re not in control of our family history, people still tend to judge us for it.
Your uncle who went to prison had nothing to do with you, but some would say that criminality runs in the family.
Your mom with mental health issues? You can only imagine what judgemental people might say.
But genuine friends don’t care about any of that stuff. They see you for who you are, not where you came from.
And they know that just because your family might have its ups and downs, that doesn’t mean it’s a reflection of you!
Even if you are impacted by the skeletons in the closet, genuine friends will help you work through this rather than judge and ditch you.
11) Your mistakes
We’re all human and we all make mistakes.
Genuine friends, while they won’t allow you to walk all over them, will give you chances. Especially if your mistakes weren’t malicious or intentional.
And if you make mistakes regarding your own life?
Rather than judge you, they’ll simply be there for you.
I remember a good friend of mine who decided to get married very quickly. I didn’t think it was a good idea at the time.
They got divorced fairly soon after, but rather than raise my eyebrows at my friend and tell her, “I told you so”, I dropped everything to be there for her!
Because that’s what genuine friends do – we don’t care about your mistakes, we just want to see you happy and healthy.
12) Your journey of self-discovery
And finally, genuine friends are never judgemental about your journey of self-discovery!
They want you to find yourself and live your best life.
Even if that means you’re not always available to hang out, or if you change slightly as your perceptions are challenged.
They will be there for you, offer a sympathetic shoulder to lean on, and encourage you to keep going when you feel like giving up!
You see, genuine friends aren’t threatened by change.
And they won’t look down on you for doing some soul searching – if anything, they’d probably join in with you!
That’s the beauty of having good friends who care and love you.
You know that whatever life throws at you, they won’t ever let their judgment get in the way of your friendship!
