12 things confident women never do in relationships

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

Confident women generally have healthier and more satisfying relationships. 

And here’s the thing—their success isn’t mainly because of the things they do; it’s actually because of the things they DON’T do.

Here, in this article, I will share 12 things that confident women NEVER do in relationships.

1) Play mind games

If a confident woman wants to say “yes”, then they’ll simply say “yes” instead of saying “no” and getting upset that their partner isn’t a mind reader.

If they’re offended or hurt by what their partner did, then they’ll tell their partner outright.

They think that mind games like saying they’re fine when they actually aren’t is nothing but immature and cowardly nonsense that does nothing but harm relationships.

They’re confident that they can make their wishes known and respected without having to resort to these underhanded tactics.

2) Constantly ask for affirmation

If you say that you’re confident, yet you spend an inordinate amount of time looking for validation and affirmation, then you’re not confident at all.

Confident women don’t text their partner every other hour to make sure they’re always in their partner’s thoughts. 

And they don’t get upset if their partner won’t shower them with praise when they wear something new. They don’t keep doing things simply so that they would earn their partner’s praise anyway.

Simply put, they’re not needy. And that because they already know they’re awesome.

3) Allow themselves to be pressured 

Confident women do not allow themselves to become their partners’ doormats.

There are plenty of women who tolerate having their partners pressure them into doing things like changing the way they present themselves (“no skirts!” and “no makeup!” come to mind), the hobbies they do, or even the people they hang out with.

And the reason why they permit this ultimately comes down to some sort of fear around losing their partners.

But confident women aren’t exactly afraid of losing their men. And ironically, this makes their men admire them more.

4) Build their world around their partner

Having a partner to share one’s life with is wonderful. But that doesn’t mean that one’s partner has to be the heart of their existence—not at all!

So while they respect their partner’s opinions, they make their own decisions when choosing a job to take, the friends to make, and even the beliefs they hold.

There are some women who go so crazy for their men the moment they get into a relationship that they forget to live their own lives.

Women who are confident in themselves don’t do that. 

They still engage with their own hobbies, think for themselves, and do their stuff their way.

5) Worry about silly things such as “Body Count”

There’s a disturbing obsession going around about “body counts,” which is how many partners someone has had at that point.

It goes without saying that this trend is toxic, and it’s disturbing that women even obsess over it. It’s mired deep in misogyny and objectification, even when women do it.

Oftentimes the conversation leads to women with high body counts being shamed (“There must be something wrong with her!”)  and men with the same counts being seen as desirable (“He must be irresistible”).

It’s also rooted in insecurity

Why should someone be worried about how many people their partner has slept with before them after all? That’s none of their business.

This is why truly confident women don’t even want to be involved in body count discussions, and will in fact consider it a red flag if their partner asks the question.

6) Obsess over “value”

One of the most tragic events in recent times is the reduction of relationships—both romantic and platonic—into a transactional system where “value” is everything.

You have men and women talking about being “high-value men” and “high-value women”, and then people talking about how to be a “high-value friend.”

On the surface, many of the things used to define a “high-value person” sound… good. But if you dig more deeply, the very idea of assigning an arbitrary “value” to people depending on how they look and act is the ultimate act of dehumanization.

Confident women don’t care about whether they or their partners are “high value” or not. They don’t care if they’re rich and their partners are broke.

What matters to them the most is who their partners are as living, breathing people.

7) Let others’ opinions affect their relationship

There are times when listening to what people are saying can be helpful. And then there are times when listening to gossip can poison a relationship and kill it.

Confident women will pay attention if they can see that people are genuinely trying to warn them about being in a relationship with a potential abuser or a cheater.

But they will otherwise ignore whatever people have to say about their relationship. 

Why should they care if their friends think their partner isn’t “handsome” or “rich” enough to deserve them?

They know what they want and they don’t need other people’s opinions—yep, not even their parents’.

8) Avoid criticizing their partners

There’s an ever-persistent cultural idea that “boys will be boys” and women are simply expected to tolerate it when their partners start being rough and angry.

Confident women know better than to get along with that nonsense, however, and will criticize their partners when they think they deserve it.

They don’t care about playing the part of a “good” woman, or about being somehow more desirable in their meekness.

If a man is to be their partner, that man better know how to take a criticism or two.

But of course, they’ll say it in the most loving way.

9) Treat friendships as lesser

Confident women aren’t so obsessed with the idea of romance that they automatically see their friendships as somehow less important than their romantic relationships.

They don’t cut off friends simply because their partners don’t want them talking with other men, and neither do they neglect their friendships simply because they had fallen in love.

If anything, their partners will quickly learn to respect their friends if they want to keep having that relationship.

10) Monitor their partner’s every move

Confident women are strong and well-spoken, but that does not necessarily mean they’re overbearing.

They don’t tolerate it when their partners try to control their lives, like by forcing them to share their passwords and dictating who they can talk to… so why would they try doing the same on their partners?

They’re not hypocrites, and they aren’t so insecure that they even feel the compulsion to micromanage their partners.

And when it comes to cheating, well…they have no fear.

As far as they’re concerned, if their partners want to cheat, then it will happen no matter how loosely or tightly they monitor their partners’ lives.

11) Ignore red flags

Confident women can see red flags more clearly than insecure women.

That’s mainly because they are not seeing things from a place of neediness and desperation.

And once they see a red flag, they’ll take note of it and see if it becomes a pattern. They won’t judge them right away because hey—we all have red flags, don’t we? 

That’s why they’ll date someone many times before they decide to build a relationship with them. And when they realize that they can’t deal with the red flags, then they’d move on to the next.

12) Stick around in a toxic relationship

As I said, confident women aren’t afraid to live without a partner by their side.

They don’t need a partner to “complete” them simply because they are already complete enough all by themselves. 

If they have someone walking by their side, it’s because they want them there.

And that means that if that partner isn’t enriching their lives, but actually dragging it down, then they have no issues cutting that person out of their lives.

Life is too short to drink bad wine, so why should they keep drinking from a spoiled barrel when they can always look for one that’s actually good?

Last words

All of the things that confident women do obviously make sense.

I mean, who wouldn’t want to do relationships like a confident woman, right?

It’s just that they’re not so easy to do especially if you have self-esteem issues.

That’s why if you want to excel in relationships, you need to start from the very beginning and teach yourself how to be confident and self-assured.

Confidence, simply put, means NO FEAR.

You can start by being so comfortable with the idea of growing old alone. Then love yourself, treat yourself well, be your #1 person…and the rest will follow.

Did you like my article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.

Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

If you’re doing these 15 things, you’re definitely not over your ex

12 ways to separate a genuinely nice person from a people pleaser