9 things confident men do that make women feel secure in a relationship

The truly confident man is far rarer than you think. 

Anyone can stick out their chest and claim self-assuredness–but the fact is, genuine confidence comes from deep within. 

In a relationship, confidence manifests as trust, respect, and security, among other healthy behaviors–all things that equate to long-term sustainability. 

In this article, I’ll take you through some of the things confident men do that make their wives or girlfriends feel secure. 

If you’re a man, once you get a clearer idea of things, you can make the necessary adjustments.

Let’s get to it! 

1) They communicate directly and honestly 

The confident man doesn’t play mind games. He doesn’t keep you second-guessing or feeling perpetually on edge. 

He knows that in a relationship, you’re meant to be comfortable and relaxed, and will therefore act accordingly. 

He can often communicate his feelings and intent assertively, avoiding uncertainty or ambiguity. 

If, for instance, you hurt him, he’ll be honest with his feelings rather than letting the resentment fester and grow until it hits a crescendo. 

Good or bad, you always know where you stand with the confident man because he consistently expresses his emotions clearly. 

2) They’re reliable 

Real talk: Confidence and reliability go hand in hand. 

The confident man won’t just agree to plans to please people at the moment and then slyly back out later. 

When they say something, they follow through. They’re refreshingly dependable. 

This means they rarely flake on date night; and if they do, they typically have a very valid reason. 

When you’re reliable in a relationship, the collective stress level is low. 

Your partner doesn’t have to keep painstakingly reminding you to be somewhere or do something. 

When you commit to something, you always honor that and take pride in seeing it through.  

3) They respect their partner’s opinions and choices

I’ve come across chauvinistic men who feel that being born male makes them, by default, inherently superior to women. 

Sad, I know–but the fact is, these toxic men still unfortunately very much exist in the world; and in the context of relationships, they often turn out to be controlling partners. 

This sentiment doesn’t quite resonate with the confident man; he is all about equality and it shows in his day-to-day actions. 

He’ll listen and respect his partner and her viewpoints, even when he occasionally disagrees. 

He will still value her feedback and appreciate her autonomy, preferring her to make her own opinions and choices, rather than just agreeing for the sake of it.  

4) They become a source of emotional strength 

In times of crisis, the confident man takes it upon himself to become a rock, a pillar of emotional strength. 

I have a very good friend whose wife’s father died last year. 

She was distraught as the death was so sudden and they were extremely close. 

My friend almost instinctively went into “savior” mode. 

He wasn’t like other boyfriends or husbands, who after the initial comforting, might do their own thing, like go for drinks with the boys. 

He was exceptionally present throughout the whole ordeal, with the sole focus of providing his wife with a firm shoulder to lean on. 

He was her rock, her source of emotional strength, empathy, and understanding

When I noticed how compassionate and dedicated he was, I remember muttering to myself, “Now that’s a man.” 

5) They encourage independence and trust

We touched on respecting autonomy earlier. 

You’d be surprised how many men are so controlling and possessive of their partners. 

When controlling behavior becomes the norm, your relationship is doomed to fail. 

This can spiral into things like co-dependence, cheating, or dragged-out misery. 

Some men get insecure and uneasy when their partner acts independently of them–through pursuing new interests or friendships outside the relationship. 

I’ve seen it a million times: a guy, jealous of his partner’s relationship with friends, will act out by throwing tantrums like petulant toddlers not getting what they want.  

They let their insecurities get the best of them, compromising their partner’s space in the process. 

The confident man, however, is deeply secure in himself. 

Rather than dread or feel threatened by independence, he encourages it. 

He knows that for any relationship to truly flourish, mutually embracing and celebrating one another’s individuality and space is non-negotiable. 

With confidence comes trust; and once that is achieved, a healthy, secure relationship is all but guaranteed.

6) They are inclusive when making decisions 

Confident men view their relationships as equal partnerships, where both people complement one another, not one-sided dictatorships.

They therefore don’t often make decisions unilaterally. 

They tend to involve their partner in all the major decisions, particularly those that will likely affect both of them. 

This is an indication of their respect for the union and for their partner. 

They won’t condescendingly brush off their partner’s feedback either; they value what they have to say.  

7) They express affection and appreciation

Once the honeymoon period wears off, it’s easy to start getting overly comfortable and treat your relationship routinely

This is where things can potentially get stale. 

But the latter isn’t an issue for the confident man. 

He is aware of the value of romance and intimacy in a relationship. 

Regardless of how long he and his beau have been together, he will still make sure that flame keeps burning. 

Whether through physical touch, acts of service, or words of affirmation, he knows how to make his woman feel secure, loved, and appreciated.

8) They know how to admit faults and say sorry 

When a man is insecure and lacking in true confidence, he might have difficulty owning up to his shortcomings–as the latter is considered ‘losing face’, a blow to an already fragile ego. 

This is a stark contrast to the confident man. 

When the confident man makes a mistake, he will put his pride aside, admitting his wrongs and apologizing sincerely, showcasing accountability and humility in equal doses. 

We all make mistakes, especially in our relationships; extreme cases aside, there’s nothing more human. 

It’s the refusal to admit wrongdoing that will cause unnecessary friction and resentment. 

So fellas, if you lose your temper in an argument and blurt out hurtful things, yet you’re able to acknowledge your mistakes and gently make amends, this speaks volumes about your confidence. 

Don’t let up. 

9) They establish and respect boundaries

From the get-go, the confident man will be firm about establishing his boundaries; and will expect his partner to do the same. 

Some common and healthy boundaries include showing respect for differences, listening to each other, respecting one another’s right to independence, etc. 

Boundaries are critical to any relationship, romantic or otherwise.  

The confident man is deeply attuned to this. 

He knows what he wants and will not often tolerate anything less than that. 

And when a woman demands the same from him, he will happily respect that. 

Final words 

The genuinely confident man is a force. 

When self-belief is deep-rooted in a man, it becomes a source of strength, stability, and resilience against the challenges life may bring–an energy he will bring to his relationships. 

So if you feel you have real confidence, consider yourself fortunate, you’re part of an exclusive club. 

Keep using that gift the right way; those you love the most will always benefit from it. 

Clifton Kopp

Welcome to my writings on Hack Spirit! I'm a bit of a "polymath" in that I like writing about many different things. Often I'm learning from the process of writing. I hope you enjoy, and please leave a comment on one of my articles.

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