10 things classy women always do in private

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My grandma always use to say that a classy woman never airs her dirty laundry. She insisted that women of taste keep certain things to themselves.

Even though times undoubtedly change, some things never go out of style — and class is one of them.

There are simply things that are better done with discretion.

Let’s take a look at what they are, as we run through the things classy women always do in private.

1) Voice their concerns

It’s far better to pull someone aside and have a quiet word than publicly name and shame.

A classy woman knows this is the fair and mature way of dealing with things.

If she disagrees with the way a friend has been acting, she will go to them to discuss it directly.

She won’t let her feelings be known to everyone other than the person involved through bitching or gossiping.

If she doesn’t think her colleague or subordinate is taking the right approach to something, similarly she will discuss it with them in person and in private.

She has no interest in publicly cutting others down to size. Because, as we’ll see next, classy women don’t want to make a scene.

2) Have arguments with their beau

I don’t know about you, but it makes me totally cringe when I see couples having fights out in public.

Admittedly, from a bystander perspective, it can make for good entertainment. But let’s be honest, it’s pretty embarrassing.

Having shouting matches never screams class. I get that we can all lose our temper, but it shows a lack of restraint.

I mean, we call them “domestics” for a reason, right? Those little niggles should be kept inside the home.

When we feel triggered it’s better to put a pin in it and agree to discuss it later.

That can also work in your favor because it gives you both time to cool off rather than saying something you might later regret.

But it’s not only the bad times in a relationship that classy women keep to themselves. It’s also those most intimate romantic moments too.

3) Get hot and heavy

It’s not that classy women don’t show affection or even displays of intimacy when out in public.

It’s just to say that they don’t go overboard with the PDA. Some things are better left for the bedroom.

We all know those couples we wish would just get a room!

And they can quickly make others feel very uncomfortable with their non-stop make-outs and over-the-top touchy-feely ways. 

Bottom line: Classy women don’t get R-rated in public.

They realize that there is a time and a place for that.

4) Have their meltdowns

We can all lose it from time to time. It’s normal.

Life is filled with stresses and strains that try our patience and can even leave us feeling a little broken.

I’m certainly no fan of the “stiff upper lip” approach where you try to lock it all inside and act like everything is fine.

It’s not only seriously bad for your mental health, but these things always have a habit of seeping out anyway.

But a classy woman knows how to search out healthy outlets for these low times. Rather than becoming a pressure cooker about to explode, she knows how to release.

That means she is able to keep her “meltdown moments” private. She can monitor and manage her emotions through self-awareness.

She will confide in friends, seek support from a partner, or even get professional help from a therapist.

She may look constantly calm and cool, but rest assured she is processing her emotions in private. 

That way, she can control them, rather than the other way around!

5) Work on their goals and dreams

This one may come as a bit of a surprise.

After all, many things up to now on our list revolve around keeping negative things in your life private. But there are also plenty of positive things that a classy woman keeps to herself too.

Because it’s all about protection.

Whilst our biggest life ambitions are a wonderful thing, they can also be fragile.

Other people’s negativity can quickly crush those fledgling goals before they are strong enough.

Ultimately, what you want out of life is nobody else’s business. So it can be a good idea to keep the naysayers at bay and be mindful of who you share your hopes and dreams with.

6) Reveal their secrets

Classy women privately confide in people they can trust.

They don’t spill all their deepest darkest secrets to that person they just met at a party in the blink of an eye.

That’s because they are discerning about the relationships they cultivate. They know it takes time and energy to nurture healthy connections.

Only when mutual trust and respect have built up do they lay themselves bare.

That doesn’t mean they are closed and guarded. It just means that they don’t rush in and blurt out every last detail about themselves to someone they hardly know.

There is a big difference between being authentic and oversharing. Classy women know the difference.

7) Handle the problems of family and friends

It’s not just their own secrets that classy women aren’t quick to divulge. They are equally as guarded over people who are close to them.

This is what gives a classy woman the trust factor. You know that what you tell her will stay between you.

She isn’t going to use it as gossip currency to exchange with others.

When a loved one has a problem or is struggling with something she will always discreetly and privately check in with them.

She knows that their business is their business, and she does all she can to respect and honor that.

8) Enjoy their special moments instead of splashing them on social media

There’s a fine line between wanting to share your life with others and showing off. And if we’re honest, we know that social media often tempts us to cross that line.

It’s not even our fault. It’s designed that way. The little dopamine hits it dishes out daily lures us to seek out approval and validation.

The more attention we get, the more we crave.

But before you know it, nothing is sacred anymore. Every part of your life is up for grabs.

If it didn’t go on social media, did it even happen?!

When the significant other of a classy woman gets down on one knee, her first thought isn’t to capture the moment for Instagram.

She wants to save certain precious things just for her.

That means putting away her phone, staying present, and savoring the moment instead.

9) Handle their finances

This one comes with a caveat. Because there is a prevailing notion in society that it is somehow crass to talk about money.

In some instances (which I’ll get on to shortly) I do agree, but not in others.

It’s true that your finances are your own business. But I also think for years society has been discouraged to talk about money and wages as a way of control.

When we keep totally schtum, we cannot shine a light on social inequality.

The pay gap isn’t getting any smaller ladies unless we are prepared to discuss it!

So I think that conversations about money are important, and not automatically “tacky”.

But what is tasteless is flashing your cash and material possessions in other people’s faces. So too is believing that you having more makes you somehow better.

When a classy lady is doing well for herself, she can be proud of that without lording it over others.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not our bank balance that gives us class, it’s our character.

10) Good deeds and charity work

There’s something incredibly humbling and gracious about those who give purely for the sake of giving.

They are not looking for praise or admiration from it. They do it merely out of kindness.

Those who brag and gloat about their good deeds tend to undermine the selfless nature of the act.

Classy women give generously but do so discreetly.

They share from a place of love, not to inflate their status or value in the eyes of others.

So they feel no need to shout it from the rooftops every time they donate or decide to pay it forward.

In this day and age, we need to be more vigilant about what we share

In many ways, I feel lucky that I grew up pre-internet.

The technology boom of the last twenty years has brought so many great advancements. But there’s also no doubt that it has seriously dented our privacy too.

We’re tempted to reveal more and more about ourselves. We give people who we hardly know a glimpse into the most intimate parts of our lives.

But there are always things we should protect.

That includes the dignity, self-respect, and most cherished moments in our lives, and the lives of those we care for.

This golden rule lies at the heart of the things that classy women always do in private!

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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