Marcel Deer
There are some things that you can only talk to your friends about and some topics you reserve for family.
Then there are things you definitely keep to yourself.
Whatever that leaves can be put out into the world.
A big part of being classy is knowing what goes into each category. So, if you want to come across as a person who’s respectable and knows how to comport yourself, being able to know what to say in different situations is paramount.
In case you’re not sure just how classy you are, I’ve got a list for you of 14 things classy people never talk about in public.
Read it and see if your list matches mine!
1) Bathroom stuff
Do I really even need to mention this one?
I guess I do because you’d be surprised how many people still somehow think that your bodily excretions are somehow interesting to anyone besides your doctor.
And probably not even to them most of the time!
Please, whatever you do, adhere to that old saying, “What happens in the water closet stays in the water closet.”
2) Bedroom stuff
It’s just not seemly to kiss and tell, so you’d better believe that doing more than just kissing is definitely something a classy person would talk about in public.
You simply don’t need to put out there what you are doing in bed and with whom.
Not only is this a déclassé topic, it also lacks sensitivity.
Your partner or partners also have a right to privacy, and by airing your dirty laundry (or maybe just dirty sheets) around town, you’re basically trampling on that right.
3) Dreams
The rule of thumb for talking about dreams is this:
No one wants to hear about your dreams unless they’re in them.
Sure, you may have had a dream that you think was weird, hilarious, or harrowing.
But unless you’re absolutely positive that the story is going to actually be entertaining, err on the side of caution and keep it under your hat.
Of course, this doesn’t include your hopes and dreams for the future – your aspirations. Most of the time, those are perfectly fine to tell people about.
4) Relationship problems
Is your wife not speaking to you right now?
Has your boyfriend asked for a break to “think about things”?
I’m sorry you’re having problems in your relationship, but that doesn’t mean they’re good material for a public conversation.
These are serious personal issues that need to be revealed with sensitivity and received without judgment. That’s simply not what happens when you talk about them in public.
Sure, you hear celebrities talk about their relationships, but pay attention, and you’ll find it’s not the really classy ones who do.
5) Family problems
You may be having major disagreements with your family members, or their behaviors are negatively affecting your life. But just like your romantic relationships, your family relationships are best kept out of the public sphere.
Why?
Because once again, these are issues that don’t just affect you, so by putting them out there, you’re essentially infringing on our family member’s right to privacy.
Of course, if you need advice on how to deal with things in your family, you can find a trusted person to talk your issues out with, like a close friend or even a therapist.
Out in public, though, is not the right place to be discussing this topic.
6) Substance abuse
When was the last time you heard someone giggle and say, “I’m such an alcoholic!” and you thought it sounded classy?
Never?
Exactly. So why would you let that be you?
Now, there are subtleties here that you’ve certainly picked up on, classy and erudite as you are.
Talking about legal substances like alcohol and cannabis (at least in some places) is socially acceptable behavior.
But talking about abuse of substances, whether your own or that of others, in public is considered pretty low-brow.
7) Criminality
There are movies out there that certainly glorify certain types of criminality.
Hollywood can make a gangster classy or a bank robber into an idol.
But don’t forget that it’s a world of fiction and fantasy.
For the most part, people aren’t going to be impressed or enthused to hear about you breaking the law, most especially if it involves hurting or taking advantage of others.
Of course, if you’re talking about someone else’s criminal acts, you might be seen as a snitch, and you know what they say about snitches…
Snitches aren’t classy.
8) Health complaints
I’ve got some horrible news for you if you haven’t heard it already.
We’re all getting older.
It’s true, and it’s all the time, non-stop!
An inextricable part of the aging process is your body not working as well as it once did. Sure, you can stay in great shape, but it gets harder and harder.
Do you think old folks are classy when they complain about feeling the weather in their bones or their arthritis?
It’s a lot harder to do because we all suffer these insults to our bodies, but classy people suffer them with quiet dignity.
9) Who doesn’t get along
This is Gossip 101: find out who has beef and tell as many people about it as you can.
This way, you can start rumors, get into everyone’s business, stir the pot, and make a name for yourself as you do it.
Well, not as a classy person, but you’ll certainly still make yourself known.
Or, and just hear me out here, you could stay classy and respectful by minding your beeswax.
It’s up to you!
10) Offensive jokes
Hey, I love an offensive joke as much as the next non-gender-specific person.
But when I hear them and chuckle, I’m not laughing along with some sort of bigoted opinion. I’m laughing at how these jokes frame people’s bigotry and how ridiculous it is. And sometimes they’re just witty.
But I’ve never heard anyone tell a racist or sexist joke and thought to myself, “Egad, what a tremendously classy person!”
I doubt you have, either.
11) Racist or sexist opinions
I think that if you’re truly a racist, you probably know it deep down.
When people are surprised by being told their thoughts or actions are racist, I think those come from a different place, one that’s lacking in self-reflection and world experience.
The same goes for sexism.
So, if you’re going to outright say things that are bigoted against another race or sex, I think you know what you’re doing.
And what you’re doing isn’t classy or appropriate anywhere.
12) Personal finances
It’s OK to talk to your family and friends about how much or how little money you make and have.
But this is hardly the sort of thing a classy person would talk about in public.
At least not in some cultures.
In some parts of the world, it’s considered perfectly normal to ask and tell people about personal finances. But in other parts, it’s looked at as one of the rudest things you can do.
Asking others about their finances is invasive and crass.
Talking about your own is going to be seen as either bragging or complaining, and I’m not sure which people dislike more.
It’s certainly never seen as classy.
13) Judgments of other peoples’ lifestyles
One of the things classy people never talk about in public is what they think of other people’s lifestyles.
This can encompass how they live just as much as what was once called lifestyle but is now known as gender expression.
You have a right to think and believe what you want.
If you think other people are living life in a strange or wrong way, you can think that.
But when you start spouting off about your opinions and your critiques of others, it makes you sound like a… less-than-classy person.
Darn it! I had a thing about glass houses and throwing stones that would have been perfect here!
14) Grievances
How classy is complaining?
This is no good. That was done badly. It’s all terrible.
Do these sound like things an elegant person would say or the whining of a sulky child?
Now, if classy people do have complaints, they still deal with them. I’m not saying you have to just take everything on the chin.
But there’s a technique that classy folks use to grievances. They simply frame them not as complaints but as suggestions for improvement.
“This steak is undercooked!” just doesn’t compare to “This steak’s flavor could be more developed by further cooking.”
Classy is an attitude
Being classy is more than just what you wear, how you walk, and what you say.
It’s an attitude to life that says, “I’m not going to be dragged down into the muck, but I’m going to ride high.”
So these 14 things that classy people never talk about in public are simply a reflection of how classy people move gracefully through life.
