Are you tired of feeling like you have to be someone you’re not just to impress others in relationships?
Well, let me tell you, you’re not alone.
Authenticity is a trait that we all value, and when it comes to matters of the heart, it’s even more important.
That’s why I’ve put together this article on the top 10 things authentic people never do in relationships.
These are the traits that set genuine people apart from the rest and make them so damn attractive to others.
If you’re ready to learn how to cultivate deep and meaningful connections based on mutual trust, respect, and love, then keep reading. From being fake to playing mind games, we’ll explore the things that authentic people never do in relationships.
1) They Never Fake Their Feelings
“Speak your truth even if your voice shakes.” – Maggie Kuhn
Authentic people in relationships value honesty and transparency, which means they never feel the need to fake their feelings.
Whether it’s a genuine laugh, a heartfelt cry, or a sincere smile, they express their emotions in a way that feels authentic and true to who they are.
They understand that true connection requires vulnerability, and they’re willing to embrace it fully, even if it means showing their less-than-perfect emotions.
Communication is extremely important for authentic people so they always let their partners know if they’re happy or upset over something.
They don’t do this to avoid being seen in a negative light, but rather because they believe that genuine connection and intimacy can only be built through honesty and vulnerability.
Authentic people believe that if they show their honest thoughts and feelings, their partners will also do the same for them.
This makes it easier for authentic people in a relationship to communicate, trust, and solve problems together.
2) They Don’t Lie to Their Partners
“Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” – Stephen Covey
One overlooked consequence of lying is that liars also become untruthful to themselves – which authentic people never do.
Lying means refusing to reveal their genuine desires and true identity because of selfishness and insecurities.
It makes authentic people uncomfortable. Authentic people know that security is one of the most important things in a relationship.
They understand that their partners want to come home to someone who would never intentionally hurt them.
Authentic people always stay truthful because they know that even small lies can destroy trust and security in a relationship.
For them, lying shouldn’t have a place in their relationship.
They’re happy with the version of themselves and their partners, so they don’t have anything to hide and lie about.
3) They Don’t Care Much About Their Partner’s Appearances
“Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.” – Khalil Gibran
Authentic people know that physical beauty isn’t always the most important factor in attraction.
More than a person’s appearance, they believe that attractiveness is also seen in a person’s attitude and personality.
For them, physical attraction is fleeting – they find people more attractive if they’re genuine, confident, smart, or kind.
They care more if their potential partner is honest about themselves, their personality, and their social interactions.
Genuine people value authenticity, so they also expect the same from their partners.
In my opinion, physical attraction is a part of relationships, but not the most crucial. I value being with someone who is kind, caring, and makes me laugh over just having a pretty face.
4) They Don’t Tell Their Partners How to Live
“A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself — to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved.” – Leo Buscaglia
Authentic people live by the phrase “live and let live” – they’re content with the way they live their lives so they don’t feel the need to comment about others, including their own partners.
They don’t think of themselves as the better person in the relationship, so they’re far less likely to weigh in and tell their partner what they should be doing in their life.
People often feel the need to make their partners like the same things and do the same activities when entering a relationship.
However, authentic people recognize that every person has their own values and preferences that they shouldn’t try to change.
It’s natural to want the best for your partner, but authentic people know that growing and maturing together isn’t the same as telling their partner how to live their life.
Instead of forcing their partner to change, they simply encourage and support their partner until they become the best version of themselves.
Authentic people treat their partners with love and respect, accepting them for who they are instead of an idealized version of themselves.
5) They Never Listen Half-Heartedly to Their Partners
“Listening is an attitude of the heart, a genuine desire to be with another which both attracts and heals.” – J. Isham
Communication is a crucial aspect of a healthy relationship, but many struggle with active listening.
Authentic people, on the other hand, prioritize active listening because they genuinely care about their partner’s thoughts and feelings.
One obvious trait of highly authentic people is they’re good listeners.
They take the time to listen and understand what the other person has to say.
This typically shows whenever someone around them is talking, but genuine people are especially attentive to their partners.
They listen more than they talk so they don’t feel the need to disrupt someone else.
As good listeners, genuine people don’t plan their response ahead while their partner is speaking.
They understand that listening half-heartedly all the time only hurts the trust and commitment they have with their partners.
Authentic people communicate effectively with their partners by being fully present in the moment, committed, sincere, and empathetic, using all of their senses.
6) They Never Let a Fight Go On For Too Long
“To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.” – Ogden Nash
Authentic people understand that fights are healthy and normal in a relationship, but this doesn’t mean they have to argue with their partners all the time and let the fight sit for too long.
They understand that the longer their argument lasts, the angrier they feel toward the situation and their partner.
Letting a fight go on for too long also makes it harder for couples to overcome the dispute, so authentic people take it upon themselves to initiate and resolve the argument.
For highly authentic people, blaming their partner shouldn’t be the automatic response when something goes wrong.
They don’t get all defensive immediately – they try to assess the situation first and then talk it out with their partner.
If they think they’re at fault, then they apologize immediately and try to fix their mistakes.
And if they think their partner is at fault, they calmly talk to them, communicate their feelings, and wait for their partner to apologize.
7) They Don’t Feel the Pressure to Overcompensate
“Love is not about how many days, months, or years you have been together. Love is about how much you genuinely care and understand each other.”
The relationships that authentic people have with others are always built on sincerity – especially when it comes to romantic relationships.
Authentic people prioritize deep connections over superficial ones, valuing open and honest communication about who they are and what they want from their partner.
Overcompensating in a relationship is a common mistake that some people unconsciously make.
After all, we all want to be the best for our partners so we give them everything we can offer.
But for authentic people, overcompensating only leads to future problems – it only covers up problems and underlying issues in the relationship.
When authentic people put their cards on the table and wear their hearts on their sleeves, they don’t feel the need to pretend to be someone else.
They also don’t overcompensate because they believe that their true personality is already enough for their partner.
8) They’re Never Won Over By Material Things Alone
“It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.” – Mother Teresa
Many people think that gifts and material things are tangible foundations of good relationships, but they couldn’t be more wrong.
The reality is that materialism only results in short-lived, inauthentic relationships.
Depending on material things for happiness, such as money, doesn’t lead to long-term contentment because people will always want more.
Highly authentic people don’t need shiny pieces of jewelry and other expensive gifts to keep being happy in a relationship.
For them, these things might be nice to have but memories and quality time are much more important in a relationship.
When it comes to building genuine connections with their partners, genuine people spend their time sharing their feelings, thoughts, and dreams.
Authentic people believe that genuine connections are made in the present moment, seeing their partner for who they are without dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.
9) They Don’t Let Doubts and Fears Affect Their Relationship
“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.” – Henry Winkler
Being vulnerable in front of another person is a scary thing because as humans, we’re built to crave safety and security around us.
Trusting others and expressing our true thoughts and feelings can feel risky since it gives the other person the power to hurt us.
Although authentic people may fear these possibilities when entering relationships, they don’t let fear dictate their actions.
They understand that baring themselves in front of another person can lead to hurt, but it can also lead to more beautiful things they can share with their partner.
When I was younger, I was always driven by my fear of rejection and being hurt by the person I admire most – which ultimately just led to missed chances and opportunities.
As I got older, I started becoming more confident in myself – the more I let people know how I felt, the more chances I had at being happy and experiencing fulfilling love in my relationships.
10) They Never Stop Trying To Be the Best For Their Partners
“The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person. You know they’re right if you love to be with them all the time.” – Julia Child
Authentic people know that life is a journey of self-discovery and growth.
They understand that change is inevitable and that personal development is key to becoming the best version of themselves.
And when they’re the best person they can be, they can also be the best partner their significant other deserves.
For genuine people, love is more than just a connection. It’s a commitment to continuously improve themselves for their partner.
They know that staying in love requires growth and maturity, and they’re willing to put in the work to make it happen.
But being the best partner doesn’t mean changing who they are entirely.
Authentic people don’t have to sacrifice their authenticity to grow. Instead, they focus on improving the traits that their partner cherishes and appreciates.
So, if you’re in a relationship with an authentic person, know that they’re committed to personal growth and becoming the best version of themselves for you.
And if you’re authentic yourself, then keep working on yourself, knowing that the journey of self-discovery never ends.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
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