9 things an emotionally intelligent woman will never tolerate in a relationship

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No relationship is perfect. Everyone has their faults and flaws. It’s what makes us all human, at the end of the day!

But even so, some behaviors are a lot harder to put up with in a relationship than others. Especially when a) they happen all the time and b) your partner isn’t doing anything to try to change them!

When you have emotional intelligence, you tend to be more understanding than most, so you let some behaviors slide. But you also tend to know yourself better than you know anyone else.

So when certain behaviors from your partner (like the following 9) make you feel crummy, you won’t tolerate them. You either talk to them about it (and make sure things change) – or just cut them loose!

1) The silent treatment

Poor communication in a relationship is common, but it really isn’t great.

Most people don’t intentionally give you the silent treatment. They do it because they don’t know how to talk about their feelings or apologize for being wrong…

But even though it isn’t intentional, the silent treatment can still be pretty damaging.

Experts say it can leave the person on the receiving end feeling worthless, unloved, hurt, confused, angry, and unimportant. It can also wear away at your self-esteem.

An emotionally intelligent woman might put up with poor communication for a short while, since all relationships need work.

But if the silent treatment is the only thing she gets when issues crop up, she isn’t going to stick around for very long. It either ends, or the relationship does!

2) Controlling behavior

At first, his behavior is sweet and caring. He doesn’t want you to get the train alone. He’s concerned about your safety and it’s nice. So you let him drive you here, there, and everywhere.

But slowly, he starts taking things up a notch. He says he doesn’t want you wearing what you’re wearing for “safety” reasons. He says he doesn’t like your friends because of the “drama” they bring to your life. Eventually, he says he doesn’t like you going out at all.

That’s right, he’s crossed the line from caring to controlling!

When you like or even love someone, this kind of behavior can be hard to spot. It’ll creep up on you and be easy to justify as “he just cares about me” or “he just wants me to be safe”.

But a woman with emotional intelligence will see through this behavior eventually. She’ll see that he’s just controlling and it’s toxic – and it’s time to set better boundaries or (more likely) cut him loose!

3) Refusing to apologize

Does admitting you’re in the wrong ever feel good? I don’t think so. But when you have emotional intelligence, you still do it!

You know you have to do it. You were in the wrong, so you have to say sorry for it to move on and get over it.

But not everyone sees it this way. As soon as they’re accused of something (or simply feel that way), they get their back up.

They won’t say sorry no matter how much it’s hurt you. They think admitting they’re wrong or apologizing is a sign of “weakness”. When, really, it’s a sign of inner strength.

This kind of behavior is exhausting to put up with in a relationship. And while it’s somewhat understandable, you can’t make excuses for them forever.

If you’re an emotionally intelligent person, you have to cut them loose in the end. Otherwise, the toll on you is just too great.

4) An unsupportive attitude

You don’t have to agree with your partner all the time. Sometimes, you have to compromise or agree to disagree. But even so, you should always support each other – especially when it comes to certain things.

Like if you wanted to change career paths, your partner should be supportive of that. Or if you want to join a gym or start a new hobby.

When your partner doesn’t act this way, it really isn’t good. Say they get jealous when you want to do something. Or they don’t want you doing certain things.

Or they just don’t really care about what you want to do, so they never say anything kind, uplifting, or supportive when you tell them about it.

This kind of behavior isn’t something an emotionally intelligent woman grins and bears. It’s something that gets under her skin – and she won’t live with it from someone who’s supposed to love her!

5) A lack of interest in her life

I know my partner doesn’t always like hearing about my latest work dramas or what’s going on with the Kardashians. He still listens to me though. Why? Because he knows I care about these things.

I’ve been in relationships before where partners were never interested in what was going on in my life.

In the rare times we dined out, the conversations were always about them. They didn’t ask about my family, my friends, my career, my hobbies, or anything, really.

These were not good partners, and I shouldn’t have put up with this total lack of interest in my life. Especially when I took so much of an interest in theirs…

But my life dramas aside, having EQ means you pick up on things like this – when your partner doesn’t ask about you. And to be quite frank, you don’t tolerate it.

6) Poor emotional intelligence

You can be friends with almost anyone when you have emotional intelligence. But dating someone who doesn’t have the same EQ as you is really damn difficult!

They just don’t get you. You can’t talk deeply about certain subjects without them making a crass joke. You can’t delve deep into your emotions or reflect on things in your past.

At least, you can’t do this in a proper, conversational way. If you ever raise these things, it’s usually just you speaking and them saying absolutely nothing at all. Which leaves you feeling pretty lonely and misunderstood…

Of course, just because they don’t have the same EQ as you, that doesn’t mean they’re a bad person. But dating them might be hard. And honestly, you might deserve better!

7) Ignorance and close-mindedness

Ignorance might be bliss, but only for the person who’s doing the doing! For everyone else, ignorance is absolute hell.

When your partner doesn’t see the world as you do or has a racist, sexist, or any other “ist” attitude towards others, it isn’t endearing. It’s toxic.

Sharing your life with someone like this just isn’t going to bring you much happiness long-term. Plus, if their ignorance extends to you (like if they stereotype you as having to do something because “you’re a woman”), it can be pretty damaging to your own sense of self-worth.

All in all, this kind of behavior just isn’t something a woman with emotional intelligence will put up with in a relationship.

8) Sudden emotional outbursts

It’s a tough one, because when you have high emotional intelligence, you’re a very understanding person.

So you completely understand why someone gets so angry about something and what causes them to react so suddenly. You even get mad at things sometimes and enjoy a little rant!

But even so, sudden emotional outbursts really aren’t OK in a relationship. When someone can’t keep their anger in check, it isn’t normal. It’s a problem.

Putting up with their rage, especially when it’s always directed at you, isn’t acceptable – even if you understand where it’s coming from. It’s hard on you and it’ll eventually take its toll.

An emotionally intelligent woman may find it hard to set a firm boundary when it comes to this one. But eventually, she’ll do it, because she knows this kind of behavior really isn’t going to serve her long-term.

9) Constant criticism

I know many people who have branded their critiques as “just being honest”. But no, they aren’t just being honest. They’re being rude and cruel.

Being in a relationship with someone who constantly criticizes you isn’t “just a joke” or something you need to “lighten up” about. It can actually deeply affect your self-esteem. The longer this behavior goes on for, the worse it gets (for you, not them).

When someone acts this way, there are two reasons for it. It could be because they’re a total narcissist and manipulative person, so putting you down makes them feel good. Or they could just lack tact and emotional maturity.

In the second scenario, a woman with emotional intelligence would probably talk to them about it and how it’s making them feel.

But if the behavior doesn’t stop and your partner isn’t even trying to change their ways, you’ll let them go – no question about it!

Final thoughts

People might criticize you for the standards you have. And while it’s true that some people have unrealistic expectations for a relationship, most people don’t.

When you’re emotionally intelligent, you definitely aren’t being unrealistic for wanting better. In fact, you deserve it!

So even though people might judge you for not giving someone another chance or being a bit cutthroat, stick to your standards, girl!

You know what you want and you know your worth, so keep doing what you’re doing and don’t tolerate any less than you know you deserve.

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