Kiran Athar
Nobody gets married with the intention of being a bad spouse. We all want to do our best to create a beautiful, fulfilling life with our SOs (without losing ourselves in the process).
Some women seem to handle the ups and downs of married life with grace and elegance – their marriages are strong and their husbands content.
So, what’s their secret?
In this article, I’ll reveal 10 things women who are amazing wives know about marriage:
1) Self-care is a must
Women who are amazing wives know that to show up in their marriage, they need to look after themselves first.
It’s kinda like when you’re listening to the safety announcement on an airplane:
“Put your own oxygen mask on first, before attempting to help those around you.”
And it makes sense – how can you be an amazing wife, if you’re tired, stressed, and run down?
That’s why these women do things like:
- Getting into healthy habits and routines (eating and sleeping well, drinking enough water, and making sure to exercise regularly)
- Making time for themselves to unwind and relax
- Pursuing their hobbies and passions to lift spirits and encourage creativity
But they don’t just focus on themselves – amazing wives also encourage their spouses to do the same!
2) Every marriage has highs and lows
Another thing that women who are amazing wives know about marriage is that it’s a rollercoaster of emotions!
Some days are brilliant – you feel connected, on the same page, and full of love.
On other days…not so much. Just the sound of your spouse breathing is enough to set off an argument (we’ve all been there).
But rather than make a big deal out of the lows, amazing wives keep things in perspective.
Put simply:
They take the good with the bad!
Ultimately, no marriage is happy sailing 24/7. But good wives prefer to focus on the good and give less importance to the cranky days, which are inevitable in all relationships!
3) You can’t (and shouldn’t) try to change each other
One of the worst ideas anyone can have before entering a marriage is the notion that they’ll change their spouse – it never happens.
That’s why good wives don’t bother.
Sure, they might:
- Encourage their spouse to be a better person
- Teach them more efficient ways of doing things
- Help them change their wardrobe or style
But they’re not out to change them as a person. As I mentioned earlier, they accept the good with the bad.
They know that everyone has flaws, but they love regardless. And that leads me to my next point:
4) Self-development is necessary
One thing is working on your marriage, another is working on yourself!
And amazing wives know that self-development is crucial, even after you’ve said “I do” and settled down into married life.
That’s why they actively work on themselves and encourage their spouses to do the same.
But they won’t force their SO – they will lead by example.
And simply by supporting their spouse to work on whatever issues they’re dealing with, they ensure that their marriage remains strong and healthy, with both spouses focused on bettering themselves.
5) Communication = good
But for self-development and support to take place, there needs to be good communication.
That’s another thing women who are amazing wives know about marriage – how we communicate can either lead to productive conversations, or arguments and misunderstandings.
So, amazing wives tend to do things like:
- Active listening (making eye contact, asking questions, and avoiding interrupting)
- Picking up on non-verbal cues
- Being clear and concise with their words
- Setting aside time each day or week to check in with their SO
You see, a marriage that struggles with communication will never reach its full potential. Amazing wives know this, so they get educated on how best to approach and discuss issues with their spouses.
6) Drama = bad
And just as communication is key, drama is to be avoided like the plague!
Unless it’s done in good fun and both know it’s a joke, drama can cause havoc on even the strongest of marriages.
Why?
Because it brings nothing of value to a relationship. In fact, most drama is caused by wanting attention – but it’s an unhealthy (and tiring) way of gaining it.
That’s why amazing wives prefer to sit down and talk about their issues with their spouse, rather than resort to petty tactics to get a rise!
7) It takes a team to achieve the dream
Another thing women who are amazing wives know about marriage is how important teamwork is.
That’s why they work hard to be on the same page as their SO and to work together to achieve their goals, whether that be:
- Setting up a business
- Following their dreams
- Buying a house/having kids
Whatever it is, amazing wives make sure they receive and give support, and that their spouse does the same.
After all, there’s strength in unity!
8) The importance of keeping marital issues private
One mistake many people make in marriage is gossiping or confiding in others about their private issues.
Let’s say you’ve had an argument with your SO, and you decide to tell your mom about it. A few days later, you guys will have made up and moved on.
But mom doesn’t forget. She will always remember how your spouse hurt her sweet little darling, and she’ll hold onto this memory to use as ammunition should they ever mess up again!
So, amazing wives prefer to hash things out with their SO rather than confide in other people.
Not only does it avoid changing people’s opinions of their spouse, but it creates way less drama and external involvement (and as we’ve just discussed, drama is a big no-no).
9) Intimacy is a priority
We live in a busy world where intimacy can often get pushed to the background.
But women who are amazing wives know that marriages need intimate, nurturing connections.
And it’s not just about the physical aspect…
It’s about feeling close to your SO; emotionally, spiritually, and mentally.
It’s being vulnerable, even when you don’t want to be.
It’s sharing your feelings no matter how uncomfortable.
It’s being there for one another, even when you’re fed up and ready to throw in the towel.
While physical intimacy is, of course, important, when you do the above, your connection with your spouse reaches new heights – the type of heights that make a solid, successful marriage!
10) Forgiveness is your friend
And finally, amazing wives know that forgiveness is essential.
Look, people make mistakes.
Some make huge mistakes, like gambling away the house or cheating, while others mess up on a smaller scale, like forgetting to take out the trash or “accidentally” throwing away your favorite vintage vase.
Whatever it may be, good wives know that it’s best to keep things in perspective.
If you can’t move on from something your partner has done?
Seek therapy, or end the marriage.
But if it’s something you can get over, forgive.
Because to remain married for more than just a year, it’s inevitable that one or both of you WILL mess up along the way. But part of unconditionally loving someone, till death do you part, is to show mercy and love!
So, are you comfortably in the amazing wife category? Or do you need to work on a few things?
Marriage is tough, so if you didn’t make the cut, don’t beat yourself up about it. The most important thing is that you’re trying, and that’s the best any of us can do!
