Anna Dovbysh
Marriage is one of the most exciting—and daunting—things that can ever happen to you.
It is quite literally a life-changing event because not only will your life change, but your very self might change too.
In light of that, it’s extremely common to think about what kind of wife or mother you might be to your husband and kids.
Will you change or stay the same?
Will you be a traditional housewife or a modern, working wife? Will you be the chill, fun mom or the strict tiger mom?
Do you want to be a power couple who focuses on their career aspirations and building wealth? Or the couple who likes to splurge on vacations and fine dining ever so often?
These 10 personality traits will determine what type of wife you’ll be.
And while you can never completely prepare for the ups and downs and craziness of marriage and parenthood, being self-aware of these things will greatly increase your chances of success!
1) You’re naturally nurturing
Your general love language is acts of service, and it warms your heart to devote yourself to supporting him. You value peace, harmony, and warmth above all in your relationship and home life, and you see this as your purpose.
So, If he gets sick, you will drop everything to tend to him and make him the best chicken soup ever. In fact, you probably cook for him all the time anyway.
This is an incredibly beautiful thing. However, sometimes, people like this tend to be taken advantage of because they are so devoted to nurturing the rest of the family.
So ensure that your husband nurtures you too! And that you nurture yourself as well. After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup.
2) You have a lot of compassion
Any good wife—or any good person, for that matter—has compassion for others.
Compassion, kindness, and empathy are the pillars of goodness and love. A good wife extends this goodness to her family more than she does to other people.
So if you want to be a good wife, you need to be able to see what your husband and kids see and feel what they feel.
It is easy to judge too hastily, especially in the heat of the moment. But mature and compassionate wives have learned how to control this knee-jerk reaction.
They accept their husband’s flaws, all while helping them improve. Because that is what it truly means to love someone for who they are.
3) You’re a good communicator
You’ve heard it before, I’m sure: communication is key to a successful relationship.
If you’re a communicative partner, you’ll likely also be an emotionally mature wife. You’ve long thrown away the idea that love means knowing what the other person is thinking or feeling.
You’ll routinely hold conversations with your husband about your relationship. In these discussions, you take a step back and look at your partnership from a broader perspective, trying to determine what needs to be worked on.
You also know how to express your thoughts and emotions in a way that is healthy and mature yet still vulnerable and transparent.
Because of this, you don’t shy away from difficult conversations, like those about:
- Sex;
- Money;
- Kids;
- Chores;
- In-laws.
If you’re a good communicator with other people, most likely, you’ll bring this valuable quality to your marriage too.
4) You’re always honest
However, not just any kind of communication is needed in a good relationship. You need to communicate honestly and openly as well.
If you’re someone who people have told is “honest to a fault,” then you’ll also likely be a very communicative wife. After all, you probably have a hard time keeping your thoughts and feelings to yourself. For better or for worse, you wear your heart on your sleeve!
You may want to communicate, but learning how to do it properly is just as important.
You need to learn how to phrase things in an honest yet loving way. Or which things are not worth telling your husband. Or which things need to be discussed plainly and which things need to be sugarcoated a bit.
It’s a delicate balance that you’ll eventually learn as you grow with him.
5) You’re a good listener
Communication is a two-way street, though—this is something most people forget.
When we talk about communication in relationships, we often focus on being the one doing the communicating—the talking. We focus on how we can express ourselves.
However, it’s just as important to be able to be a good listener too. A good wife will receive their husband’s expressions of his thoughts and emotions lovingly and openly, just as she expresses her own in an honest and healthy way.
If you’re like this, then you’ll likely be a very empathetic and understanding wife who knows how to put herself in her husband’s shoes.
6) You have near-infinite patience
And if you’re a good listener, then you likely have great patience too.
Because as much as you adore and love your husband, there will come a time when you will be annoyed or angry at him. Trust me.
But if you can stretch out your patience for your husband (and if he can, too), then you will save yourself a lot of heartache and headaches. Constantly berating each other will simply slowly wear down the love you have for each other.
Being a patient partner means that you’ll be a wife who creates a safe space for your husband. Your husband will feel and appreciate how tolerant you are of his flaws and mistakes.
And here’s the thing: if he’s a good man, then he won’t abuse your patience! He will strive to work on his flaws as well as do his best to be patient with you too.
7) You’re incredibly loyal
Loyalty is the absolute bare minimum in any relationship. And getting married pretty much cements your promise to be faithful to him for life.
However, being loyal doesn’t just mean not cheating. It also means being committed to working for the success and betterment of the relationship—and trusting and expecting your hubby to do the same.
Because if there’s anything marriage will teach you, it’s the fact that love without effort will never be enough to sustain it. Both of you will need to sacrifice to make it work.
So as a loyal partner, you will likely be the kind of wife who pours almost everything into her marriage. Just make sure to stay loyal to yourself too! As much as marriage is a partnership, losing your individuality is a recipe for misery as well.
8) You’re a hopeless romantic
A common complaint about long-time marriages is that the spark eventually fades. The husband and wife become more like roommates than they are lovers.
But as a hopeless romantic, you’re absolutely committed to working so that this doesn’t happen!
While there’s some truth that you’ll likely never get those exciting butterflies of your honeymoon, that doesn’t mean romance will inevitably die in your relationship. It’ll only die if you let it die!
After all, one of the best ways to keep your marriage strong is to keep the flame of romance alive. Constantly being reminded of why you fell in love in the first place will drive you both to keep loving each other for life.
If you’re a romantic person, you’ll be the kind of wife that:
- Plans dinner dates and romantic getaways;
- Will always remain physically affectionate;
- Surprises him with cute little favors;
- Strives to have a regular and exciting sex life;
- Likes to dress up for her husband despite being with each other for years or decades.
9) You’re self-assured
When a woman feels confident and self-empowered, she is able to reach her full potential—including becoming the best wife she can be.
If you’re a confident, self-assured woman, you’ll know your worth. You know what you want in a partner and what you need in a relationship. This allows you to pursue a marriage that is right for you instead of settling for something less (which, unfortunately, some women end up doing).
Whether she’s a working wife or a housewife, this kind of woman is a complete woman—she has her individuality intact, even if she’s married. She loves herself, and this actually allows her to love more fully.
She will not tolerate disrespect and abuse, and when she feels that she is treated properly, she will have so much love to give.
10) You choose to see things positively
Being optimistic doesn’t necessarily mean that someone is delusional or overly idealistic. It means that they choose to see—and to fight for—the good amidst all the ugliness.
A positive wife is, therefore, a resilient wife. They are fully aware that things will inevitably get rocky and difficult at times in a marriage. However, she is willing to brave the storm with her husband no matter what happens.
She knows that she can rely on her husband for support and how to be his rock when it’s his turn to be supported.
She believes that it is precisely during such trying times that love is not just tested but also deepened!
The takeaway
Tradition holds that being a good wife necessitates submission to her husband. This is how she can truly love and support her husband. However, this idea is not just outdated but also quite harmful in many cases.
Different women will have different traits, which means they will have different strengths (and weaknesses) as a wife. Whatever your personality may be, you can (and will) be a good wife!
After all, the formula for true love and a successful relationship has never changed!
Respect, trust, kindness, commitment, affection, and communication—have these, and you will have an amazing marriage.
