If a man has these 10 traits, he’s the kind of alpha male you want

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

There are two kinds of alpha males:

First – there’s the macho, arrogant, “leader of the pack”, tough guy alpha male, and trust me, if you have any standards when it comes to dating, you don’t want him.

Then there’s the confident, self-aware, charismatic, kind alpha male who others look up to – now that’s the kind you wanna date!

To help you figure out if you’re dating the right guy, here’s a list of X positive traits of the alpha male you want.

Let’s jump right in: 

1) He’s confident

First and foremost, you can’t have an alpha male who lacks confidence.

That’s because one of the defining characteristics of alpha males is their self-assurance and unwavering confidence. There’s pretty much nothing you can say that will make an alpha male doubt himself.

An alpha doesn’t need external validation because he knows himself – he knows his worth and he knows what he’s capable of. It doesn’t matter what others think, he knows.

Now, I get that some guys are a bit shy or inexperienced – especially when it comes to women – and that’s totally ok! They could be really nice guys and it’s definitely worth giving them a chance, but they fall into the category of beta males.

All in all, you can be sure that the alpha male you’re looking for is confident and …

2) He’s assertive

He doesn’t hesitate to speak his mind and express himself.

And when he wants something?

He goes for it.

That’s why the alpha guy pretty much always gets the girl – because while the beta guy is sitting across the bar thinking about if and how he should approach the girl, the alpha guy is already flirting with her and asking for her phone number.

The same goes for other areas of life.

If an alpha male wants a promotion at work, he has the confidence to tell his boss why he believes he deserves it.

3) He’s a born leader

There are alphas who like to be in charge because they like to boss people around and feel powerful – but those aren’t the kind you want.

You’re looking for an alpha male who is a natural leader, a guy with a vision who knows exactly what to say to motivate others.

Someone who is able to inspire and unite others and guide them to a common goal.

Got it?

4) He’s decisive

It’s not always easy to make a decision – especially when that decision is going to impact different areas of your life.

People are scared of making the wrong decision and having to live with the results – I’ve certainly felt that way many times.

While it’s normal to be scared, the problem is that fear often leads to procrastination and inaction.

Now, the great thing about alpha males is that they’re decisive: they’re able to quickly go through the pros and cons of a certain situation and make a decision right then and there.

5) He’s driven

Do you know what most successful people have in common?


I mean, you can be smart, good-looking, and well-liked – you could have all the advantages in the world – but if you aren’t driven, then the only way you’ll become successful is by some weird accident.

People who are driven have a goal that they want to reach and they’re willing to put in the effort and hard work to reach it.

Well, that’s alpha males for you, they’re motivated and determined and that leads me to my next point.

6) He takes action

Here’s the thing: Alphas are known for taking action and making things happen.

Where a beta may hesitate, bide his time, or decide that doing anything is a bad idea, an alpha has the drive necessary to give things a shot.

Here’s an example: An alpha male falls head-over-heels in love with this beautiful and super-smart woman who’s way out of his league.

He has two options:

  • He can admire her from a distance until some other guy snags her up
  • Or, he can ask her out. If she says “no” he’s no worse off than before, but there’s a chance that she could actually say “yes” and the only way to find out is to take action.

7) He takes care of himself

Turns out you can tell an alpha male just by looking at him.

Yup, if you take a moment, you’ll notice that he’s clean, well-groomed, and that he has impeccable taste in clothes!

But that’s not all.

Since he’s a guy who cares about his appearance, you’ll notice that he’s athletically built and that he definitely works out.

Alpha guys believe that it’s important to take care of oneself, which includes taking care of your mental and physical health, as well as making sure you always look your best.

8) Sets high standards for himself

The kind of alpha male you want has high standards.

He doesn’t let himself get away with doing the bare minimum. He has big dreams and goals he wants to reach, and the only way to do that is by working hard.

The way he sees it, you only get to live once so you better make the best of it.

Makes sense, right?

9) Self-aware

Remember how I said that there are two types of alpha males?

Well, the macho ones (the kind you don’t want) are not what I’d call “in touch with their feelings.” The way they see it, feeling things isn’t something real men do.

What can I say? Good luck to the women who actually go out with them!

The good news is that the other kind of alpha male is self-aware.

That means he’s introspective and curious to figure out why he feels the way he does.

If he’s angry, sad, or anxious, he doesn’t just ignore those feelings or let them spill over into other areas of his life. Nope.

You won’t get a self-aware guy who gets angry that his boss overlooked him for a promotion at work and comes home and takes his anger out on his family.

He’s not afraid of feelings, in fact, he’s eager to figure out where they come from so he can deal with them in a healthy way – whether it’s by going for a jog, talking to a friend, or meditating.                                                                            

10) Charisma

He’s got that special something that makes everyone look in his direction when he enters the room.

The thing about charismatic people is that they have this positive and magnetic energy that draws others to them.

Alpha males are friendly and love to be around people, actually, they’re often the life of the party.

And when it comes to seduction?

You’ll know that he’s an alpha male because all it takes is for him to gaze longingly into your eyes and you’re a goner!

I hope this list of traits helps you make the right decision when dating! Good luck.

Jelena Dincic

Jelena has a background in photography and film-making and has spent the last few years as a content editor and copywriter. Jelena is a citizen of the world who is passionate about travel and learning about new cultures. She’s a foodie who loves to cook. And, as an art lover, she is always experimenting with new art mediums. When she’s not at her computer, she’s usually out and about in some forest with her dogs.

If someone uses these 20 phrases in a conversation, they’re definitely humble bragging

10 things you don’t realize you’re doing because you’re lonely