Pearl Nash
So you’re dating someone and one of you—probably your date—is an introvert, and you can’t help but wonder how you can make things work.
And it’s good that you’re asking yourself that question, because introverts do relationships a bit differently from everyone else.
So in this article I will help you along by sharing with you 8 relationship types that are best for quiet, introverted people.
1) A relationship that encourages solitude
So let’s get this out of the way—introverts won’t thrive in relationships where they are forced or pressured to interact with a lot of people all the time.
So if you’ve been thinking of introducing them to your friends or going to a party with them… ask them first, and give them the chance to say no.
It isn’t like that they aren’t interested in knowing your friends, because introverts do enjoy seeing new people. It’s just that they simply have so much energy they can spend on interacting with others, and they might not be up for it all the time.
So because of that, they won’t want to come with you to every single night out or family get-together. Sometimes, they won’t even want to go outside for a date.
If they are to mingle with people, it must be because they want to, and not because they were forced to somehow. And, until then, they prefer their solitude and quiet company.
2) A relationship that isn’t demanding
And that means no complaints of “why haven’t you talked to me at all today?” or demands that they give updates every time they’re out.
Introverted and quiet people generally don’t have the time to humor demands like those.
Sure, it’s not like they’re inflexible and can always accommodate reasonable requests if so asked. But the keyword here is “reasonable.”
Asking them to stop talking to their friends of the opposite sex, for example, is much more devastating for them than it is for extroverts; introverts keep to themselves only a handful of very close friends, and those friendships could be years—even decades—long and every single one is irreplaceable.
And as I had mentioned before, introverts don’t have that much energy to spare, and if their partner is too demanding, it’s not easy for them to find that their relationship is more trouble than it is worth.
3) A relationship where patience is valued
Introverts stand out in this extroverted world of ours, and many of their ways may seem almost contrary to how the rest of the world does it.
For example, they generally take their time with relationships and they are more than happy to spend years dating someone before deciding that they should get married. They wouldn’t want to marry someone they barely knew for a year if they could. People more used to fast-paced relationships might think that they’re indecisive.
And of course, they may sometimes react or phrase things differently from everyone else because they take things slowly and spend a lot of time on their own. These differences can seem almost baffling to everyone who isn’t like them.
And that’s why they need patience to thrive in a relationship.
Not only do they prefer to operate more slowly and methodically than everyone else, their differences in personality and outlook can also be… a little frustrating for everyone else.
4) A relationship that is deep and insightful
Extroverts find fulfillment in simply having someone to talk to. Introverts, on the other hand, desire deep and extensive conversations. They might not like talking to a bunch of people all at once, but they can have plenty of fun talking to their one favorite person for hours on end.
That’s why introverts prefer relationships where they can have those deep and insightful conversations.
They don’t just want to talk about the weather, or gossip about their neighbors. They want to dive deep into politics, discuss science, and geek out over their favorite games or books.
If things go especially well, they can easily talk their partner’s ears off from dusk to dawn, geeking out over their hobbies or debating over serious topics.
These things might not exactly scream “romantic” and remind you more of, say, the kind of talk you might have with a close friend. But trust me, building bonds is romantic enough for them.
5) A relationship that is free from love games
A lot of people love to play love and mind games. They can sometimes kick a relationship back into action and add a bit of spice. But you don’t want to resort to them when your partner is an introvert!
Because of how they like to take their time and think things through, introverts tend to see through love games for what they are—emotional manipulation—and hate them because of that. And if they don’t get it immediately, it’s only a matter of time until they do.
So don’t try to play love games with an introvert. They will hate you for it and you might find yourself eating a break-up if you tried.
The best way to have a relationship with an introvert is by simply being honest with them—by trying to connect with them as a person and communicating clearly.
And hey, it’s not too bad either—they won’t like playing games on you either, and if it’s clear that the relationship isn’t working then they’ll be honest about it and admit that it isn’t working.
6) A relationship that is calm
So, another thing with introverts is that they don’t really appreciate rocky relationships. They don’t want to be in a relationship that will only leave them stressed and exhausted.
In fact, many introverts love their peace so much, and have friendships so deep that they simply aren’t interested in romance at all.
After all, why should they get involved in this thing that seemingly comes riddled with so much drama when they can settle for their friendships instead?
And on top of that, they really just love calm in general. They don’t appreciate being constantly interrupted, for example, or having someone always causing a ruckus at home.
So if you’re in a relationship with an introvert, try to make sure that they have the calm they need to thrive, whether that be because your relationship is stable or because you aren’t being a disruptive presence.
7) A relationship that can cope with anxiety
Introversion doesn’t mean social anxiety, and social anxiety doesn’t mean introversion. Plenty of introverts are good enough at talking to people—they just choose not to because it’s exhausting.
But with that out of the way, there is no doubt that introverts are more easily affected by anxiety than extroverts.
The thing is that extroverts, when faced by anxiety, can usually just keep trucking on as if nothing had happened. But introverts, on the other hand, are more likely to freeze and overthink things.
And that is why introverts work best in a relationship with someone who can help them cope with anxiety, even if that ‘help’ is simply being there for them until they calm down.
8) A relationship that is accepting
So, I have mentioned before that introverts often think quite differently from everyone else because of how they would slow down and think more often.
Often that means they can have particularly strong opinions about things that you might have not thought of, or that their opinions can change without you knowing.
And of course, they want to be heard.
They want to be able to speak their mind with you without being afraid that they’ll get brushed off or even put down.
Sometimes their thoughts will lead them to conclusions vastly different from or even opposing yours, but that’s why they need to be in a relationship accepting of these differences and quirks.
Last words
Having a relationship with an introvert can be challenging if you yourself are not introverted, but it’s by no means impossible.
Relationships with introverts tend to be calmer and slower than usual—less a burning pyre of passion and more the gentle glow of warm coals on a cool winter’s day.
Sometimes you might find yourself wondering if the introvert even loves you as much as they say, given how quiet and aloof they might seem.
But make no mistake, take their word for it because they do. They just love differently. And if you treat them well, then even if your relationship doesn’t work out they’ll be more than happy to remain friends with you.
