The best conversationalists always do these 7 things when talking with others

Ever met someone who just knows how to have a great chat?

They make talking feel easy and you walk away feeling good. It’s not magic – there are specific things they do that make them a star in conversations.

In this article, we’re going to spill the beans on the six things top-notch talkers always do.

Spoiler alert: anyone can learn them, even you!

So if you’re ready to up your chat game and make every conversation a winner, read on.

1. They Listen More Than They Speak

Great conversationalists have mastered the art of listening.

They don’t just hear the words; they tune into the meaning behind them, the emotions attached, and the unspoken messages.

When they listen, they’re not busy formulating their next response. They’re fully present, giving their undivided attention to the speaker.

This kind of attentive listening makes the person speaking feel valued and understood.

Listening is more than a passive act; it’s an active engagement. It’s about being so tuned in that the speaker feels seen and heard.

Great conversationalists know that in the silence of listening, the most profound connections are made.

They’re not afraid of pauses; they embrace them, knowing that in those quiet moments, understanding deepens, and bonds are strengthened.

In a world where everyone wants to be heard, being a good listener makes you a rarity, a gem that people want to talk to.

Because when you listen deeply, you’re not just hearing words; you’re valuing the person behind them.

And in return, you gain insights, understanding, and connections that talking could never achieve.

2. They Ask Insightful Questions

I remember meeting Sarah at a friend’s gathering. She had this incredible knack for asking questions that made you think and reflect.

It wasn’t the usual “What do you do?” but more of “What drives you every morning?” It felt refreshing and invigorating.

Great conversationalists, like Sarah, are curious by nature.

They ask questions that dig a little deeper, that unveil the stories and passions that lie beneath the surface.

It’s not about prying; it’s about showing genuine interest.

They ask open-ended questions that invite people to share more about themselves, creating a space for a richer, more meaningful conversation.

This practice isn’t about interrogation but exploration. It’s a journey into understanding the person you’re speaking with, not just on a surface level, but on a deeper, more personal level.

It’s about discovering their dreams, their fears, their triumphs, and their struggles.

And in this discovery, a connection is forged, one that is built on understanding and mutual respect.

So, channel your inner Sarah. Be brave, be curious, and ask those questions that invite people to open up.

You’ll be surprised at the world that unfolds before you, a world rich with stories, experiences, and perspectives that have the power to transform a simple chat into a memorable conversation.

3. They’re Not Afraid to Be Vulnerable

Great conversations aren’t built on pleasantries or the weather. They’re raw, they’re real. They happen when we let our guards down and get honest about our joys, our failures, and everything in between.

Great conversationalists understand that perfection is a myth. They’re not afraid to show their scars, to share their mistakes.

They know that it’s in these unfiltered moments that we connect the most. It’s when we see each other – really see each other – flaws and all, and realize, “Hey, me too.”

It’s not about airing dirty laundry or over-sharing. It’s about honesty. It’s about saying, “I’ve been there,” “I’ve messed up,” or “I’m still figuring it out.”

It’s in these raw exchanges that we find comfort, solace, and connection. We realize we’re not alone in our messiness, and there’s an unspoken bond that forms in that shared human experience.

So, if you want to elevate your conversations, get real.

Share a little more, show a little more. Because when we peel back the layers and let people see us – the good, the bad, the ugly – that’s when the magic happens. That’s when conversations turn into connections.

4. They Embrace Silence

Great conversationalists are comfortable with silence. Yes, you read that right. In a world that’s noisy and where everyone is vying to be heard, choosing silence can be powerful.

We often feel this unspoken pressure to fill every gap, every pause in a conversation with words. But the best conversationalists?

They resist that urge. They understand that silence isn’t awkward—it’s golden. It’s a space where thoughts marinate and emotions settle. It’s where the depth of a conversation truly lies.

Silence gives people room to think, to process, to arrive at something deeper than surface-level chatter.

It’s in these quiet moments that we often find clarity, where the unspoken finds a voice, and where conversations dive beneath the superficial.

So, the next time you find yourself in the midst of a pause, resist the urge to jump in. Let the silence sit. Breathe it in. You might just find that it’s in these silent spaces that conversations find their soul, where connections deepen, and where the unspoken becomes beautifully, profoundly audible.

5. They Admit When They Don’t Know

Nobody knows it all. The best conversationalists? They’re acutely aware of this. There’s a humility, a raw honesty in admitting, “I don’t know,” or “I hadn’t thought of that.”

In a world that often feels like a constant competition of who’s the smartest or the most informed, admitting ignorance can feel like a defeat.

But it’s one of the most powerful phrases in any conversation. It’s a bridge, an invitation for others to step in, and share their knowledge, and their perspectives.

Great conversationalists don’t pretend. They don’t put up a façade of knowing it all. They’re learners at heart, always curious, always ready to soak in something new.

And they’re not shy about it. They embrace their gaps in knowledge with open arms because they know that every conversation is an opportunity to grow, to learn, and to be better.

So, let’s get real. Let’s drop the act. The next time you’re in a conversation, dare to admit when you’re stumped. Be open about your gaps.

Because in that space of not knowing, you’re not just building authenticity; you’re opening a door for deeper connection, mutual respect, and shared growth.

6. They Remember the Small Details

A few years ago, I met Alex at a conference. Amidst the hustle and bustle, we shared a brief conversation.

Months later, we bumped into each other again, and Alex remembered not just my name but also the obscure book I had mentioned loving.

That moment of recognition, of being remembered, was magical.

Great conversationalists, like Alex, make you feel significant. They remember the little things – your favorite book, the name of your pet, the story you told them about your weekend hike.

These small details, often overlooked, are the threads that weave deeper connections.

It’s not about having a photographic memory but about paying attention, about showing that you care enough to remember.

It’s a subtle art, but one that speaks volumes. It says, “I see you. I hear you. You matter.”

In every conversation, there’s an opportunity to make someone feel significant. It’s in the way you remember their likes, their dislikes, their stories, and their experiences.

It’s a gift of recognition, a nod to their existence, and a step towards a deeper, more meaningful connection.

7. They Respect Boundaries

Great conversationalists are adept at reading the room. They can sense the invisible lines that mark the boundaries of every conversation.

They understand that every individual, every conversation, has its limits, and they tread with respect and sensitivity.

It’s about being attuned to the subtle cues – a hesitation in the voice, a shift in body language, a pause that lingers a bit too long.

It’s about recognizing that not every question is welcome, not every topic is open for discussion. In this awareness, they navigate conversations with a grace that respects both their own boundaries and those of others.

They know that the depth of a conversation isn’t measured by how much is revealed, but by the quality of the exchange, the respect accorded, and the space given for each person to be themselves, comfortably and safely.

In a world where oversharing has become the norm, where the private is often public, the ability to respect boundaries is a skill, a grace that sets great conversationalists apart.

It’s a dance between revelation and reservation, a balance that transforms conversations into safe spaces where connections deepen, trust is built, and relationships flourish.

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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