The art of happiness: 8 habits to say goodbye to for a calmer stress-free life

There’s a major contrast between living a happy life and simply existing.

The difference boils down to habits. Negative habits can chain us to a life of stress and discontent, often without us even realizing it.

The art of happiness, however, is about breaking free from these chains and choosing tranquility. It’s about replacing those detrimental habits with ones that cultivate a stress-free life.

To master the art of happiness, we need to learn which habits to bid farewell to. And trust me, there are certain habits that we’re better off without.

Here are 10 habits you should consider saying goodbye to for a calmer, stress-free life.

1) Overthinking

There’s no happiness thief quite as stealthy as overthinking.

You know how it works. A simple thought turns into a spiral of what-ifs, worst-case scenarios, and unending analysis. Before you know it, you’re stuck in a loop of stress and anxiety.

We’ve all been there. But here’s the thing – overthinking doesn’t solve problems. It only creates imaginary ones.

In the pursuit of a calmer, stress-free life, overthinking is one of the first habits you need to say goodbye to.

It’s not easy, I know. But remember, the goal is not to stop thinking, but rather to control your thoughts instead of letting them control you.

2) Neglecting self-care

I learned this lesson the hard way.

For years, I found myself caught in a cycle of work, eat, sleep, repeat. I was so focused on my career and meeting the expectations of others that I completely neglected my own needs.

I ended up feeling drained, stressed, and far from happy.

That’s when I realized the importance of self-care. It’s not about being self-indulgent or selfish. It’s about recognizing your own needs and taking time to nourish your body, mind, and soul.

Nowadays, I make it a point to take a walk every day, eat healthily and give myself permission to relax and do something I love each day. And trust me, it has made all the difference.

3) Holding onto grudges

Holding onto grudges is like carrying a heavy backpack everywhere you go – it’s exhausting and it gets you nowhere.

Interestingly, research from Emory University shows that holding onto anger and resentment can actually affect your physical health. It can increase your heart rate, blood pressure, and levels of cortisol, a hormone associated with stress.

Letting go of grudges doesn’t mean forgetting what happened or letting people off the hook. It’s about freeing yourself from the burden of resentment and making space for more happiness in your life.

4) Living with a large ego

In Buddhism, one of the key teachings is the idea of “anatta” or “non-self”. It’s the understanding that the concept of a fixed, separate self is an illusion. Our egos, our sense of “I”, is not as solid or as central as we believe.

Living with a large ego, where we believe we are the center of the universe, can lead to a lot of stress and unhappiness. It creates a constant need for validation and approval, and sets us up for disappointment and conflict.

In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I delve deeper into this concept. I discuss how letting go of this ego-centric view can lead to a more peaceful and fulfilling life.

Embracing anatta doesn’t mean losing your sense of self-worth or becoming a doormat. It’s about acknowledging that we’re all interconnected, and that our happiness is linked to the happiness of others.

5) Constant comparison

I’ve been guilty of this one. Scrolling through social media, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing your life to the highlights of others. It’s a never-ending game that only breeds dissatisfaction and frustration.

The truth is, there will always be someone who has more than you do – more money, more success, a seemingly happier family. But what social media doesn’t show you is the struggles and challenges they face in their daily life.

Comparing yourself to others doesn’t make you happier, nor does it make you better. It only distracts you from appreciating what you have and who you are.

6) Chasing perfection

Here’s something that may sound counter-intuitive: chasing perfection is a surefire way to invite stress into your life.

Perfection is an illusion. It’s a constantly moving target that no one can truly reach. And the more you chase it, the more you set yourself up for disappointment and stress.

Instead of aiming for perfection, aim for progress. Embrace the fact that you’re a work in progress, that it’s okay to make mistakes and have flaws. That’s what makes us human.

In fact, there’s beauty in imperfection. It’s what makes us unique and interesting.

7) Avoiding discomfort

It’s human nature to seek comfort and avoid discomfort. However, constantly staying in your comfort zone can actually lead to stagnation and dissatisfaction.

Growth often happens outside our comfort zone. It’s when we face challenges, take risks, and step into the unknown that we truly learn and evolve.

Avoiding discomfort might seem like the safer path, but it often leaves us feeling unfulfilled and stuck in a rut.

8) Ignoring the present moment

The most important habit to say goodbye to for a calmer, stress-free life is ignoring the present moment.

Living in the past or future distracts us from the beauty and opportunities of the here and now. It breeds anxiety, stress, and discontent.

Embracing mindfulness, being fully present in each moment, is where true happiness lies. It’s in the laughter of a loved one, the smell of morning coffee, the feeling of a fresh breeze on your face.

So let go of past regrets and future anxieties. Make a habit of living fully in the present moment. It’s the art of happiness at its finest.

Final reflection: Happiness is an inward journey

The pursuit of happiness is deeply personal and often intertwined with our innermost habits and behaviors.

It’s not about chasing fleeting moments of joy or avoiding discomfort. It’s about cultivating habits that allow us to navigate life with serenity and appreciation, regardless of external circumstances.

In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I delve deeper into some of these concepts, offering insights from timeless Buddhist teachings to help you live a more fulfilling and stress-free life.

But remember, happiness isn’t a destination. It’s a journey. A journey that starts with letting go of habits that no longer serve us and embracing those that nourish our mind, body, and soul.

So as you move forward, consider which habits you might need to say goodbye to. Reflect on the changes you can make to cultivate a calmer, stress-free existence. In doing so, you’re not just inching closer to happiness – you’re embracing it in its truest form.