Adrian Volenik
For too many years, saying “no” to someone was something I really struggled with. If they caught me by surprise, they would get an instant yes.
And while that’s okay in some instances, in others, it means you just get more things and responsibilities on your plate.
That’s why I came up with a set of excuses I could just say to someone when they asked something of me I didn’t like or want to do.
But then I realized that was disingenuous. So, I decided to learn how to be direct and say “no” without feeling guilty.
So, without delay, here are ways you can accomplish that in formal and casual situations.
1) “It’s a bit much for me right now”
This is one of my favorite ways of saying “no” to people. It’s also really true, so I don’t feel guilty saying it.
If I feel like explaining further, I will.
I’ll say something like this:
“Honestly, I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed lately. Between work, family responsibilities, and some personal challenges, taking on anything more right now might be a bit too much for me to handle. I need to focus on getting through my current duties before adding anything else to the mix.”
And that’s it. If they’re not a complete numbskull, they’ll understand.
2) “I’m swamped right now”
Another great way to decline something or take on additional tasks is by telling them you’re swamped at the moment.
Tell them work has been hectic, and you’re dealing with a few personal issues that demand your attention.
And in the end, you shouldn’t bow to the pressure of doing more of something you’re already doing or going where you don’t want to go.
You’re probably already wading through a swamp of tasks as is, right? Adding more would make it even harder to stay afloat.
Take some breathing room to handle your current workload and challenges. The more you practice saying “no” in different situations, the more comfortable and confident you’ll become. It’s a skill that improves with repetition.
3) “That doesn’t fit into my schedule”
If you’re anything like me, your days are pretty packed with work, family commitments, and personal projects.
Adding anything more would throw off the balance you’re trying to maintain. You’ve got specific time slots for different things, and unfortunately, this request doesn’t align with your current schedule.
You don’t have to explain yourself. You can decline politely without going into elaborate explanations.
Just let the uncomfortable silence linger for a few moments after you directly decline without an explanation, and they will go away.
Don’t succumb to the pressure that this pause will have on you. Remember, they came to you and not the other way around.
4) “I have to pass this time”
This is a polite and straightforward way to reject an offer or opportunity. It says that while you appreciate the offer, you’re unable to accept or participate at the present moment.
Still, by saying “this time,” you’re hinting that your decision is situational and tied to the current circumstances. You’re leaving the possibility open for reconsideration in the future.
And that should make both of you more comfortable.
5) “I have other commitments”
If your calendar is pretty full with prior commitments, just tell them that. You’re being honest, and that’s great. You won’t feel guilty declining.
Tell them you’ve made promises to others and you want to honor those commitments. It’s important for you to be reliable, and taking on more might compromise that.
If you want to do it on another date, jot it down. But only if you really want to do it. Don’t kick the can further down the line.
Understand that it’s okay to prioritize your well-being. Remind yourself that saying “no” doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s a necessary part of self-care.
6) “I’m maxed out currently”
“I’m maxed out currently” is also a perfectly appropriate and guilt-free way to decline additional requests or responsibilities.
With it, you’re again saying that your schedule is full and you can’t take on anything more at the moment.
You’re not saying you aren’t interested or you hate the idea, but simply that you’re at maximum capacity right now.
It’s a respectful and honest way to set boundaries and prioritize yourself.
7) “I’m overscheduled at the moment”
The same goes for this. You’re fully booked like a fine dining restaurant. Your every hour seems accounted for, and you don’t see any open slots.
Doing what they’re asking of you would mean sacrificing time you desperately need for other things (like self-care and rest).
And if the above is actually true, that means you’ve developed the ability to prioritize your commitments.
Knowing what matters most to you allows you to decline things that don’t align with your current goals or values.
8) “It’s not on my agenda”
A polite and concise way of saying that whatever they’re asking for isn’t a part of your planned activities or priorities.
With this, you give them a clear and direct response without the need for detailed explanations.
You can also say you appreciate the offer or request. Still, it doesn’t align with your current agenda, and you’re unable to commit to it.
Now, the following three ways are a bit more formal, but they’re still direct and guilt-free ways of saying “no.”
9) “I appreciate the opportunity, but unfortunately, I won’t be able to take part”
Again, you genuinely appreciate their thinking of you for this opportunity. It wasn’t an easy decision for you to make.
Regardless, considering your current workload and personal commitments, you won’t be able to take part at this time.
Tell them (if you want to) that you hope they understand. You look forward to the possibility of working together in the future when your schedule permits.
Sounds good, right?
10) “Thank you for considering me, but I have to decline this time”
Don’t want that promotion, role, or project? Tell them thank you so much for considering you for this role/project.
But also, that it means a lot to know that your skills are valued. However, after careful consideration, you have to decline this time.
You have other ongoing commitments that require your full attention, and you wouldn’t want to compromise the quality of your work.
You appreciate their understanding, and hope there will be another chance in the future.
I’ve used something similar when I declined a promotion I really didn’t want because it wasn’t worth it. Still, I didn’t want to burn the bridges, so I explained a bit further, as you saw above.
11) “I’m grateful for the invitation, but I won’t be able to join in”
With this, you’re expressing gratitude and showing appreciation for being considered or invited.
This sets a positive and respectful tone.
The second part of the sentence makes it clear that, unfortunately, you won’t be able to participate or join in. This gives a straightforward answer to the invitation.
If you want, you can elaborate further. If not, let it stay at that because you’re already implying there’s a genuine reason behind your inability to partake, which helps in keeping a respectful and understanding tone.
Final thoughts
As you can see, being direct and saying “no” isn’t that hard once you get an idea of how to do it.
In any case, you shouldn’t feel guilty declining something or someone. Why should you?
Although I’m not a big fan of this, you can kick the issue down the road and say you’ll do it some other time.
Then, if you feel like it, you can do it. If not, you can decline it.
