Being deeply in love is an art form, not the cotton candy fluff of romcoms or the heady passion of romance novels.
I’m talking about the real deal, where you feel an intense connection that goes beyond just surface-level attraction. It’s a genuine, profound bond that enriches your life and makes you feel like the best version of yourself.
But how do you get there? How do you cultivate such an intimate connection with someone? It’s not as hard as you might think.
There’s a common belief floating around that being deeply in love is rare and elusive. I’m here to tell you it’s not. In fact, it’s rather simple.
Here are eight straightforward ways to live a passionate life full of deep, authentic love, even if it sounds too good to be true. Trust me, it’s not.
1) Cultivate a deep sense of gratitude
Gratitude is an essential ingredient in the recipe of deep love.
It’s not just about saying ‘thank you’ or being appreciative when someone does something nice for you. It goes beyond that.
Gratitude is about acknowledging the small things, the everyday gestures that your partner does for you. It’s about recognizing the effort they put into making your life better, even if it’s as simple as making you a cup of coffee in the morning or giving you a comforting hug after a long day.
When you cultivate a deep sense of gratitude, you begin to see your partner in a new light. You appreciate them for who they are and what they do for you. You see their value and their worth.
And when you genuinely appreciate someone, it deepens your love for them. It intensifies the bond between you and creates a loving environment where passion can thrive.
This isn’t some lofty ideal or an unattainable goal. It’s simple, yet it can profoundly change your relationship.
Starting today, make it a point to express your gratitude to your partner every day, and watch how it transforms your love life. And remember, gratitude shouldn’t be earned through perfection…
2) Embrace the imperfections
We all have them, those little quirks and peculiarities that make us who we are. It’s easy to get caught up in this idea of being ‘perfect’ for our partner.
But let me tell you something, being perfect is not only impossible, it’s also incredibly boring.
In my own relationships, I’ve found that it’s these imperfections that make me deeply love someone. It’s the way they laugh too loudly at a joke or how they can’t resist messing up a freshly made bed.
It’s their inability to cook a meal without creating a mess in the kitchen or their stubbornness in admitting they’re wrong.
These are the things that make them human. These are the things that make them real. And it’s these very things that make me love them even more.
When you start embracing these imperfections, you start seeing your partner in a whole new light. You start appreciating them for who they truly are, not some idealized version of them. And this acceptance creates an environment where deep love can flourish.
So don’t shy away from these imperfections. Embrace them, love them, and watch how your relationship transforms into something deeply rewarding and passionate.
3) Practice active listening
Once, during a rough patch in my relationship, I found my partner and I were talking at each other rather than to each other. Our conversations were full of defensive responses, interruptions, and misunderstandings. It felt like we were on different wavelengths.
That’s when I decided to practice active listening.
Active listening is about fully engaging with your partner when they’re speaking. It’s about showing interest, asking clarifying questions, and giving them your undivided attention, instead of about waiting for your turn to speak or formulating your response while they’re still talking.
When I started doing this, I noticed a significant shift in our interactions. Our conversations became more meaningful and less argumentative. We understood each other better and felt more connected.
Active listening allows you to understand your partner on a deeper level which is pivotal in creating a profound bond of love. It may sound simple, but it can drastically improve the quality of your relationship and deepen your love for your partner.
It’s also an essential tool in practicing our next behavior…
4) Prioritize emotional intimacy
While physical attraction may initially draw us to a person, it’s the emotional connection that keeps us committed and deeply in love.
Emotional intimacy is all about sharing your innermost thoughts, feelings, dreams, and fears with your partner.
In my own life, I’ve found that the more I open up emotionally to my partner, the deeper our bond becomes. It’s about making the choice to be vulnerable, to let your guard down and let your partner truly see you. This can be scary, yes, but it’s worth it.
Emotional intimacy creates a safe space where you and your partner can express yourselves freely without judgment or fear. This deepens your understanding of each other and fosters a love that’s profound and passionate.
So start prioritizing emotional intimacy in your relationship and watch as your love deepens in ways you never imagined possible.
5) Cultivate shared experiences
When you share experiences with your partner, you’re building shared memories and stories. These shared experiences serve as a bond, a common thread that weaves your lives together.
I once took a cooking class with my partner, despite my limited culinary skills. We laughed, we made mistakes, we burned a dish or two. But by the end of it, we had not only learned to make a decent pasta but also created a memory that was uniquely ours.
Taking trips together, trying new activities, or even just spending a quiet night in watching movies – these shared experiences can be anything as long as you’re doing them together. They provide opportunities for you to learn more about each other, grow together and create lasting memories.
And these memories become the foundation of your love story, making it deeper and more passionate. Start creating these shared experiences today and watch as your love story unfolds in the most beautiful way.
6) Be their biggest cheerleader
Love isn’t just about being there for each other in the tough times, it’s also about celebrating each other’s successes.
I’ve found that cheering my partner on, being enthusiastic about their achievements, and expressing genuine pride in their accomplishments can make a world of difference in our relationship.
When you’re genuinely excited for your partner’s success, it shows them that you value their happiness as much as your own. It tells them that their dreams and aspirations are important to you. This strengthens your bond and deepens your love for each other.
Whether it’s a promotion at work, finishing a marathon, or even just mastering a new recipe, celebrate these moments with your partner. Let them know that you’re proud of them and that you believe in them.
Being their biggest cheerleader will not only make them feel loved and appreciated but will also bring passion and depth to your relationship.
But genuine love is not only about the things you do together…
7) Maintain your individuality
While it’s important to grow together as a couple, it’s equally important to maintain your individuality.
I’ve learned that preserving my own identity in a relationship doesn’t make me less committed or less in love. In fact, it enhances my relationship.
Having my own hobbies, interests, and personal time makes me a more interesting partner and gives us more to talk about. It also prevents the relationship from becoming too dependent or stifling.
When you continue to grow as an individual, you bring new energy and perspectives into the relationship. This can keep things exciting and passionate.
So remember, being deeply in love doesn’t mean losing yourself in the relationship. It means bringing your whole self into the relationship and growing together while still maintaining your unique identity. This balance can lead to a passionate and deeply fulfilling love life.
8) Engage in open and honest communication
In my experience, nothing deepens love more than open and honest communication. It’s the cornerstone of any strong relationship and the lifeblood of deep, passionate love.
Communicating openly means expressing your thoughts, feelings, and concerns without hesitation or fear of judgment. It’s about being honest, even when the truth is uncomfortable or difficult to express.
It’s been said that the quality of our relationships is a reflection of the quality of our communication. When I started to truly communicate with my partner, not only did our understanding of each other deepen, but our love became more passionate and profound.
Open and honest communication builds trust, understanding, and intimacy – all foundational elements of a deeply loving relationship. So don’t hold back. Speak your truth with kindness and openness, and watch as your love deepens to levels you never thought possible.
Embrace the journey
Being deeply in love isn’t a destination, it’s a journey. It’s a series of choices we make every day, choices to be present, to be grateful, to be honest, and to love deeply.
Understanding this is the first step to living a passionate life. Each of these eight ways we’ve discussed isn’t a one-time action, but a continuous practice. Some days will be easier than others. There will be days when you stumble or fall back into old habits. That’s okay.
The beauty lies in the journey itself, in the growth and transformation that comes from consciously choosing to love deeply every day.
As famously put by the poet Rumi, “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” Embrace the ups and downs of your relationship as they are opportunities for growth and deepening love.
So go forth, embrace this journey of deep love. Celebrate your wins, learn from your losses, and above all, keep choosing love.
The art of being deeply in love is indeed simple; it’s about choosing to love every day. And with this, you’re already on your way to living a deeply passionate life.