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What to write to a man to get him chasing you

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Did you know that you could get the guy you like to chase you through text?

Yes, you read that right!

I tried it myself – and they worked!

The good news is you can experience the same thing too. That’s why I’m sharing these 23 messages that will actually make him chase you.

Let’s go!

23 messages that will actually make him chase you

1) “I’m still trying to figure out what I’ll do this weekend.”

If you want him to ask you out and chase you, this is the text you should send. It’ll let him know you have the time – and it’s up to him to take on this opportunity.

See, some guys are just too shy to ask. Instead, they’ll look around for signs to see if they’re ‘in the clear.’

Some guys just don’t want to be too forthcoming.

The good news is by sending this text, you’re basically letting him know that you’re free. Just let him take the lead and set up the date and time.

Before you know it, he’ll be chasing after you in no time.

2) “I’d love to go, but I can’t tonight. Sorry. I guess you’ll have to wait a bit longer before you can see me again.”

Does your guy have a nasty habit of asking you out at the last minute?

Now I know how tempting it is to say yes and go out on a date with him. But if you want him to stop being unserious about you – and chase you instead – then you need to send this message:

“I’d love to go, but I can’t tonight. Sorry. I guess you’ll have to wait a bit longer before you can see me again.”

This will let him know you’re not always there at his beck and call.

See, men choose women who they are infatuated with. These women stir up a sense of excitement and desire to chase them – all by what they say in their texts.

As dating and relationship coach Clayton Max says, “It’s not about checking all the boxes on a man’s list of what makes his ‘perfect girl.’ A woman can’t “convince” a man to want to be with her.”

If you want to be this type of woman, then watch Clayton Max’s quick video. He’ll show you how to make a man chase you through text (it’s easier than you probably think).

Infatuation is triggered by a primal drive deep within the male brain. And although it sounds crazy, there is a combination of words that will make him obsessed with you.

To learn exactly what these texts are, watch Clayton’s excellent video now.

3) “I’d love to come, but I have plans that day.”

This text is a variation of the one above. Again, it’s one you should send to a guy who starts interested – but disappears along the way.

As I’ve mentioned above, if you want a guy to chase you, you should be able to stir some excitement and desire in him.

Saying yes to his last-minute texts is NOT the way to do so. If any, it might just push him away.

Remember: men thrive on challenges. Saying yes right away will make it seem like you’re easy to ask out.

It’s just like throwing a basketball into a 2-foot-wide ring.

That said, texting “I’d love to come, but I have plans that day” will let him know that you have a lot of things to do. Heck, it may even make him realize that many guys are waiting to have an opportunity to date you.

Before you know it, he’ll be hot on your heels in no time.

4) “Hi. I assume we’re not going out tonight? You haven’t confirmed, and I’ve got quite a lot of things to do.”

Let’s say he promised a few weeks ago that he’d go out with you. But he hasn’t texted or called you about the details, e.g., what time you’ll meet, where you’ll go, etc.

It may have even gotten you to thinking: did he forget? Or is he just waiting for my text?

Well, if you want him to chase you, don’t be the one to confirm. Instead, text him the message I’ve listed above:

“Hi. I assume we’re not going out tonight? You haven’t confirmed, and I’ve got quite a lot of things to do.”

This will let him know that your world doesn’t revolve around him.

He’s not the only fish in the sea. You can make plans – with other guys in fact – whenever you want.

By sending a sorta passive-aggressive text like this, he’ll realize that he shouldn’t delay making plans with you. Many guys are willing to take his place, and he’ll lose you if he isn’t careful!

5) “I don’t know how I feel about you.”

He likes you, but he’s not chasing you as far as you’re concerned. So, if you’re looking to turn the tides, then make sure to text him this:

“I don’t know how I feel about you.”

See, this will take your guy by surprise.

Before you texted him this, he’s pretty sure he’s making the right moves to make you fall in love with him.

He thinks he has you on lock. He doesn’t need to do more because he already has you on hook, line, and sinker.

But when you send him this text, he’ll be stunned – and forced to take a second look at things. Maybe he’s not making as much effort as he should – for you’re still not crazy over him!

Maybe he should try harder. (Indeed, he should!)

Before you know it, he’ll be wooing you rabidly. And, as long as you play your cards right, you’ll successfully get him to chase you!

6) “Wow! You looked rocking last night. It’s a great thing we’re such nice friends!”

Men, by nature, are the chasers in relationships. So if you show too much interest, he’ll probably look the other way around.

He’ll just play and play – instead of chase and chase.

He knows he’ll come back to him, after all.

That’s why you need to send this text – for it’ll show him that he’s just a friend (even though you think otherwise.)

I learned this – and more – from relationship expert Carlos Cavallo. He’s one of the world’s leading experts on relationship psychology, specifically what men want from a relationship.

As Carlos explains in his free video, most men are unnecessarily complicated when they think about commitment.

According to Carlos, men want to feel that they’ve found the absolute best woman for them.

As if he has won the premiership of love.

Carlos Cavallo shows you exactly how to make him feel like he’s a winner – so he’ll end up chasing you.

You’ll learn several simple and genuine things you can do right now to stop him from lurking around and being a player.

Check it out here.

7) “I had a great time.”

While men appear stoic, they’re a sucker for sweet things too. That’s why sending him this text after going out with him will surely make him chase you.

Just like us girls, men appreciate it when someone has fun in their company. They’ve made an effort, so it’s normal to expect to hear something good about it.

Granted that you enjoyed being with him, this is a sensible text to send. Before you know it, he’ll be texting you again.

8) “I have something to tell you the next time we meet.”

So he hasn’t made plans to see you – or he hasn’t set up a second date. If you want him to keep chasing after you, then this is the text you ought to send:

“I have something to tell you the next time we meet.”

First things first: curiosity has always killed the cat. He’ll be dying to know what you’ll tell him. There’s also an air of mystery in this text. Guys like this (just as we girls do), and it’ll surely make him chase you for another date.

Best of all, this text will help build some anticipation for your next meet-up. It’ll make him more excited and eager to see you. Who knows? He might be asking you out for another date the following day!

9) “I have a surprise for you!”

Just like the text above, messaging him with “I have a surprise for you” will make him chase you – and want to see you again.

Again, this evokes an air of mystery and curiosity. He won’t be able to stop thinking of you – and what you have for him.

And, of course, who doesn’t like surprises?

So what should you amaze him with? According to Cosmo Frank, outstanding examples include:

  • A present (it doesn’t have to be big!)
  • Food (would help if you cooked it yourself!)
  • Tickets to a game or concert
  • Something he wants to watch (that upcoming Marvel movie) or do (go bungee-jumping!)

Remember: the best way to play this is to slowly reveal your surprise through text. Just like in the movies, it’s a matter of keeping him at the edge of his seat until the big reveal.

Build the anticipation. I’m sure this will make him go out with you ASAP!

10) “I need your help with…”

If you want your man to chase you, then you need to trigger their inner hero.

And remember: it doesn’t always have to be a physical thing (like carrying stuff and whatnot.) It could be as simple as asking for help with what to get your dad for his birthday.

I learned about this – and more – from the hero instinct. Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept is about what really drives men in relationships, which is ingrained in their DNA.

And it’s something most women don’t know anything about.

Once triggered, these drivers make men into the heroes of their own lives. They feel better, love harder, and commit stronger when they find someone who knows how to trigger it.

Now, you may be wondering why it’s called “the hero instinct”?

Do guys really need to feel like superheroes to commit to a woman?

Not at all. Forget about Marvel. You don’t need to be a damsel in distress or buy your man a cape.

The easiest thing to do is to check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here. He shares some easy tips to get you started, such as sending him a 12-word text that will immediately trigger his hero instinct.

Because that’s the beauty of the hero instinct.

It’s only a matter of knowing the right things to say to make him realize that he wants you and only you.

Click here to watch the free video.

11) “This reminded me of you (insert picture/meme/GIF here)”

It’s no secret that the right text can transform your relationship. In fact, it can turn your casual date into one who’ll chase you to the ends of the earth.

That said, it wouldn’t hurt to add some interesting images, memes, or GIFs that relate to your text.

After all, a picture is worth a thousand words!

Texting him “This reminded me of you” together with a picture/meme/GIF shows that you actually listened to what he got to say.

It proves that you’re not like the other girls who’re just swooning over his good looks (though there’s no stopping you from doing so!)

Remember: guys don’t like chasing after shallow girls! With this text, you can show him that you’re a quality woman – someone who’s really worth pursuing.

12) “I love how X you are!”

Just like girls, guys like to be complimented as well. And, if I’m being honest, it sucks to date someone who couldn’t give you a compliment (or two.)

In short, if you want a man to chase you, you should compliment him as well.

And it doesn’t necessarily have to be something physical – though men are big with this.

You can praise, say, his thoughtfulness or his gentlemanly ways.

Tip: When complimenting him, make sure to use ‘masculine’ terms, like ‘strong,’ ‘powerful,’ or ‘macho. These words will surely get him under your thumb.

13) “I really shouldn’t tell you this, but I like that you’re…”

Men don’t gossip as much as women, but they like being in the loop. And, starting your text with “I really shouldn’t tell you this” will surely reel them in.

See, this opening line is the difference between getting your message ‘read’ or ‘replied.’  It shows that you’ve built trust and that you’re willing to let him in on a secret (although it doesn’t necessarily need to be one.)

So what do you say after telling him, “I really shouldn’t tell you this”?

Personally, I recommend a compliment of sorts. It could be his outfit during your last date or how he kissed you good night.

Simply put, telling him something you shouldn’t be telling will pull him in. Giving the fitting compliment will definitely keep him on lock!

14) You’re making me blush!

Women generally tend to brush compliments away. But if you want your guy to chase you, you need to accept it (in a cute way, of course.)

The best way to go about this is to text the proper response. And that’s “You’re making me blush!”

See, this relates to the unique concept I mentioned earlier: the hero instinct.

When a man feels respected, useful, and needed, he’s more likely to chase you down!
And the best part is, triggering his hero instinct can be as simple as sending the right message. You can learn exactly what to do (and say) by watching this simple and genuine video by James Bauer.

15) “Hey, I’m here at X. Want to share X with me?”

Men love challenges. And yes, this text is a challenging (yet flirty) way to make him chase you.

Texts like this serve as an open invitation. And while it shows that you like spending time with him, it also demonstrates that you can have fun (and so much of it) without him.

This text will also drive him crazy, for he’ll end up thinking about the guys who’ll try to flirt with you. Sure enough, he’ll be sharing whatever you want to share in a heartbeat!

PS: You can always modify this ‘challenging’ text to suit your situation. You can share a dessert – even a slow dance!

16) “You’ve got to see this for yourself!”

Similar to the message above, this text will make him realize how much he’s missing. You’re having fun – without him. And, knowing how hot you are – he can’t help but think about the swarm of guys surrounding you!

See, if you want a guy to chase you, you need to evoke FOMO or the feeling of missing out in your texts.

And, by sending this text, you’re essentially painting a mental picture – one that will make him run after you.

Don’t be surprised if he replies, “I’m coming down there in a minute!”

17) “If you were here right now…”

This ties up to two previous texts I’ve listed. Messaging him with “If you were here right now” will make him chase you because it’ll make him realize that he’s missing out on things!

This text unlocks a lot of possibilities for him.

You could be having a nice romantic dinner with him right now.

You could be watching a highly-anticipated action film with him right now.

Better yet, you could be getting all hot and heavy with him right now.

Sending him this text – especially if he’s sitting out on date plans – will make him miss you like crazy!

18) “So…are you going to ask me out or what?”

Speaking of guys who sit out on date plans, this text will definitely prod him to make a move.

“So…are you going to ask me out or what?”

It’s a bold message, alright. But here’s something you need to remember: high risk, high reward.

See, it’s possible that he just wants you to ask him out. On the other hand, he may be a shy guy who doesn’t know how to ask you out.

He could even have reasons that I haven’t mentioned.

By sending him this text, you’re basically challenging him to make a move on you. And, granted you play your text cards right, this is the message that’ll make him chase tirelessly after you.

19) “Do you remember when…?”

Nostalgia – or looking back on the past – is a pretty good feeling. In fact, a report has shown that it is “both a driver of empathy and social connectedness, and a potent internal antidote for loneliness and alienation.”

As such, you may use it to make your guy chase after you!

The good news is it’s easy to evoke nostalgia through text. A simple “Do you remember when…” message will surely jog his fond memories of you.

Your first dinner date.

Your first movie date.

Your first kiss.

These happy memories – and the warm feelings they bring – will surely make him think of you. Heck, it’ll make him connect with you more! Before you know it, this seemingly uninterested man is asking you out again!

20) “I had a dream about you last night…”

Fact: some men lose interest after the chase. So if you don’t want this to happen, you have to send carefully-curated texts from time to time.

One great example is the message, “I had a dream about you last night…”

See, this will surely pique his curiosity.

Was this dream about him? Is it full of sexy details?

Before you know it, he’ll be bombing your phone with questions about this ‘dream.’

And, if you play it right (by teasing him about the dream, of course), he’ll surely ask you out again.

For this situation, I recommend sending any of these texts I’ve mentioned above:

“I’d love to go, but I can’t tonight. Sorry. I guess you’ll have to wait a bit longer before you can see me again.”

“I’d love to come, but I have plans that day.”

Messaging him any of these right after will surely make him chase you!

21) “I’m sure you’ll love to see what I’m wearing right now (insert pic here.)”

If you want a guy to chase you, then you need to learn how to push the right buttons.

In other words, you need to know how to turn him on.

The good news is that seducing him doesn’t necessarily require lewd pictures. The right text – coupled with a seductive-but-not-trashy pic – is sure to keep his mind racing.

See, this message helps paint a strong picture. And, since “male arousal, studies find, is strongly visual,” this colorful text and pic combo will help you hit the ‘right spot.’

22) “I’m doing something I probably shouldn’t be doing.”

Nothing gets a man wound up better than imagining his date doing something kinky (even though you’re not, haha.)

See, sending “I’m doing something I probably shouldn’t be doing” will surely drive him wild. It’ll make him text/call you nonstop – until you tell him what you’re doing. (Tip: even if you’re not doing something crazy, make him think like you’re doing so!)

This saucy text will make him think of you all day, every day. So don’t be surprised if he comes chasing after you like a mad hound!

23) “Is it bad/naughty to…”

Just like the text above, messaging him with “Is it bad/naughty to (do this or do that)” will make him obsessed with you.

It’s spicy, but it’s not a flat-out sext that will make him treat you like a conquest (instead of a potential girlfriend.)

As Paul Brian explains in his article “What men want to hear in a text,”:

“If you’re going to turn up the heat or want to explore a more sensual texting exchange, then turn up the heat gradually.

Not only is the guy more likely to get turned on and teased more, but he’s also going to maintain respect for you and be seduced slowly in a way he can’t resist.

If you start sending him nude photos or asking for sexually explicit photos, he’ll categorize you as an easy lay.

But if you gradually turn up the heat in conversations and pique his interest with your unique personality and sensuality.”

dIndeed, this text can help you achieve just that!

Final thoughts

By now, you should have a better idea of what to write to a man to make him choose you.
That said, the key is getting through to your man in a way that empowers both of you.

I mentioned the concept of the hero instinct earlier. By appealing directly to his primal instincts, you won’t only solve this issue. Better yet, you’ll be able to take your relationship further than ever before.

And since this free video reveals exactly how to trigger your man’s hero instinct, you could see changes as early as today.

With James Bauer’s incredible concept, he’ll see that you’re the woman worth chasing. And, if you’re ready to take that plunge, be sure to check out the video now.

Here’s a link to his excellent free video again.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.

Written by Raychel Ria Agramon

I'm Raye, a nurse licensed in both the Philippines and the US. I also have a Master's degree in Public Management.

Just like helping my patients, I like to empower & motivate readers with research-backed articles.

You can reach me at [email protected]

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