What to write to a man to get him chasing you

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

Did you know that you could get the guy you like to chase you through text?

Yes, you read that right!

I tried it myself – and they worked!

The good news is you can experience the same thing too. That’s why I’m sharing these 21 messages that will actually make him chase you.

Let’s go!

21 messages that will actually make him chase you

1) “I’m still trying to figure out what I’ll do this weekend.”

If you want him to ask you out and chase you, this is the text you should send. It’ll let him know you have the time – and it’s up to him to take on this opportunity.

See, some guys are just too shy to ask. Instead, they’ll look around for signs to see if they’re ‘in the clear.’

Some guys just don’t want to be too forthcoming.

The good news is by sending this text, you’re basically letting him know that you’re free. Just let him take the lead and set up the date and time.

Before you know it, he’ll be chasing after you in no time.

2) “I’d love to go, but I can’t tonight. Sorry. I guess you’ll have to wait a bit longer before you can see me again.”

Does your guy have a nasty habit of asking you out at the last minute?

Now I know how tempting it is to say yes and go out on a date with him. But if you want him to stop being unserious about you – and chase you instead – then you need to send this message:

“I’d love to go, but I can’t tonight. Sorry. I guess you’ll have to wait a bit longer before you can see me again.”

This will let him know you’re not always there at his beck and call.

3) “I’d love to come, but I have plans that day.”

This text is a variation of the one above. Again, it’s one you should send to a guy who starts interested – but disappears along the way.

As I’ve mentioned above, if you want a guy to chase you, you should be able to stir some excitement and desire in him.

Saying yes to his last-minute texts is NOT the way to do so. If any, it might just push him away.

Remember: men thrive on challenges. Saying yes right away will make it seem like you’re easy to ask out.

It’s just like throwing a basketball into a 2-foot-wide ring.

That said, texting “I’d love to come, but I have plans that day” will let him know that you have a lot of things to do. Heck, it may even make him realize that many guys are waiting to have an opportunity to date you.

Before you know it, he’ll be hot on your heels in no time.

4) “Hi. I assume we’re not going out tonight? You haven’t confirmed, and I’ve got quite a lot of things to do.”

Let’s say he promised a few weeks ago that he’d go out with you. But he hasn’t texted or called you about the details, e.g., what time you’ll meet, where you’ll go, etc.

It may have even gotten you to thinking: did he forget? Or is he just waiting for my text?

Well, if you want him to chase you, don’t be the one to confirm. Instead, text him the message I’ve listed above:

“Hi. I assume we’re not going out tonight? You haven’t confirmed, and I’ve got quite a lot of things to do.”

This will let him know that your world doesn’t revolve around him.

He’s not the only fish in the sea. You can make plans – with other guys in fact – whenever you want.

By sending a sorta passive-aggressive text like this, he’ll realize that he shouldn’t delay making plans with you. Many guys are willing to take his place, and he’ll lose you if he isn’t careful!

5) “I don’t know how I feel about you.”

He likes you, but he’s not chasing you as far as you’re concerned. So, if you’re looking to turn the tides, then make sure to text him this:

“I don’t know how I feel about you.”

See, this will take your guy by surprise.

Before you texted him this, he’s pretty sure he’s making the right moves to make you fall in love with him.

He thinks he has you on lock. He doesn’t need to do more because he already has you on hook, line, and sinker.

But when you send him this text, he’ll be stunned – and forced to take a second look at things. Maybe he’s not making as much effort as he should – for you’re still not crazy over him!

Maybe he should try harder. (Indeed, he should!)

Before you know it, he’ll be wooing you rabidly. And, as long as you play your cards right, you’ll successfully get him to chase you!

6) “Wow! You looked rocking last night. It’s a great thing we’re such nice friends!”

Men, by nature, are the chasers in relationships. So if you show too much interest, he’ll probably look the other way around.

He’ll just play and play – instead of chase and chase.

He knows he’ll come back to him, after all.

That’s why you need to send this text – for it’ll show him that he’s just a friend (even though you think otherwise.)

7) “I had a great time.”

While men appear stoic, they’re a sucker for sweet things too. That’s why sending him this text after going out with him will surely make him chase you.

Just like us girls, men appreciate it when someone has fun in their company. They’ve made an effort, so it’s normal to expect to hear something good about it.

Granted that you enjoyed being with him, this is a sensible text to send. Before you know it, he’ll be texting you again.

8) “I have something to tell you the next time we meet.”

So he hasn’t made plans to see you – or he hasn’t set up a second date. If you want him to keep chasing after you, then this is the text you ought to send:

“I have something to tell you the next time we meet.”

First things first: curiosity has always killed the cat. He’ll be dying to know what you’ll tell him. There’s also an air of mystery in this text. Guys like this (just as we girls do), and it’ll surely make him chase you for another date.

Best of all, this text will help build some anticipation for your next meet-up. It’ll make him more excited and eager to see you. Who knows? He might be asking you out for another date the following day!

9) “I have a surprise for you!”

Just like the text above, messaging him with “I have a surprise for you” will make him chase you – and want to see you again.

Again, this evokes an air of mystery and curiosity. He won’t be able to stop thinking of you – and what you have for him.

And, of course, who doesn’t like surprises?

So what should you amaze him with? According to Cosmo Frank, outstanding examples include:

  • A present (it doesn’t have to be big!)
  • Food (would help if you cooked it yourself!)
  • Tickets to a game or concert
  • Something he wants to watch (that upcoming Marvel movie) or do (go bungee-jumping!)

Remember: the best way to play this is to slowly reveal your surprise through text. Just like in the movies, it’s a matter of keeping him at the edge of his seat until the big reveal.

Build the anticipation. I’m sure this will make him go out with you ASAP!

10) “This reminded me of you (insert picture/meme/GIF here)”

It’s no secret that the right text can transform your relationship. In fact, it can turn your casual date into one who’ll chase you to the ends of the earth.

That said, it wouldn’t hurt to add some interesting images, memes, or GIFs that relate to your text.

After all, a picture is worth a thousand words!

Texting him “This reminded me of you” together with a picture/meme/GIF shows that you actually listened to what he got to say.

It proves that you’re not like the other girls who’re just swooning over his good looks (though there’s no stopping you from doing so!)

Remember: guys don’t like chasing after shallow girls! With this text, you can show him that you’re a quality woman – someone who’s really worth pursuing.

11) “I love how X you are!”

Just like girls, guys like to be complimented as well. And, if I’m being honest, it sucks to date someone who couldn’t give you a compliment (or two.)

In short, if you want a man to chase you, you should compliment him as well.

And it doesn’t necessarily have to be something physical – though men are big with this.

You can praise, say, his thoughtfulness or his gentlemanly ways.

Tip: When complimenting him, make sure to use ‘masculine’ terms, like ‘strong,’ ‘powerful,’ or ‘macho. These words will surely get him under your thumb.

12) “I really shouldn’t tell you this, but I like that you’re…”

Men don’t gossip as much as women, but they like being in the loop. And, starting your text with “I really shouldn’t tell you this” will surely reel them in.

See, this opening line is the difference between getting your message ‘read’ or ‘replied.’  It shows that you’ve built trust and that you’re willing to let him in on a secret (although it doesn’t necessarily need to be one.)

So what do you say after telling him, “I really shouldn’t tell you this”?

Personally, I recommend a compliment of sorts. It could be his outfit during your last date or how he kissed you good night.

Simply put, telling him something you shouldn’t be telling will pull him in. Giving the fitting compliment will definitely keep him on lock!

13) “Hey, I’m here at X. Want to share X with me?”

Men love challenges. And yes, this text is a challenging (yet flirty) way to make him chase you.

Texts like this serve as an open invitation. And while it shows that you like spending time with him, it also demonstrates that you can have fun (and so much of it) without him.

This text will also drive him crazy, for he’ll end up thinking about the guys who’ll try to flirt with you. Sure enough, he’ll be sharing whatever you want to share in a heartbeat!

PS: You can always modify this ‘challenging’ text to suit your situation. You can share a dessert – even a slow dance!

14) “You’ve got to see this for yourself!”

Similar to the message above, this text will make him realize how much he’s missing. You’re having fun – without him. And, knowing how hot you are – he can’t help but think about the swarm of guys surrounding you!

See, if you want a guy to chase you, you need to evoke FOMO or the feeling of missing out in your texts.

And, by sending this text, you’re essentially painting a mental picture – one that will make him run after you.

Don’t be surprised if he replies, “I’m coming down there in a minute!”

15) “If you were here right now…”

This ties up to two previous texts I’ve listed. Messaging him with “If you were here right now” will make him chase you because it’ll make him realize that he’s missing out on things!

This text unlocks a lot of possibilities for him.

You could be having a nice romantic dinner with him right now.

You could be watching a highly-anticipated action film with him right now.

Better yet, you could be getting all hot and heavy with him right now.

Sending him this text – especially if he’s sitting out on date plans – will make him miss you like crazy!

16) “So…are you going to ask me out or what?”

Speaking of guys who sit out on date plans, this text will definitely prod him to make a move.

“So…are you going to ask me out or what?”

It’s a bold message, alright. But here’s something you need to remember: high risk, high reward.

See, it’s possible that he just wants you to ask him out. On the other hand, he may be a shy guy who doesn’t know how to ask you out.

He could even have reasons that I haven’t mentioned.

By sending him this text, you’re basically challenging him to make a move on you. And, granted you play your text cards right, this is the message that’ll make him chase tirelessly after you.

17) “Do you remember when…?”

Nostalgia – or looking back on the past – is a pretty good feeling. In fact, a report has shown that it is “both a driver of empathy and social connectedness, and a potent internal antidote for loneliness and alienation.”

As such, you may use it to make your guy chase after you!

The good news is it’s easy to evoke nostalgia through text. A simple “Do you remember when…” message will surely jog his fond memories of you.

Your first dinner date.

Your first movie date.

Your first kiss.

These happy memories – and the warm feelings they bring – will surely make him think of you. Heck, it’ll make him connect with you more! Before you know it, this seemingly uninterested man is asking you out again!

18) “I had a dream about you last night…”

Fact: some men lose interest after the chase. So if you don’t want this to happen, you have to send carefully-curated texts from time to time.

One great example is the message, “I had a dream about you last night…”

See, this will surely pique his curiosity.

Was this dream about him? Is it full of sexy details?

Before you know it, he’ll be bombing your phone with questions about this ‘dream.’

And, if you play it right (by teasing him about the dream, of course), he’ll surely ask you out again.

For this situation, I recommend sending any of these texts I’ve mentioned above:

“I’d love to go, but I can’t tonight. Sorry. I guess you’ll have to wait a bit longer before you can see me again.”

“I’d love to come, but I have plans that day.”

Messaging him any of these right after will surely make him chase you!

19) “I’m sure you’ll love to see what I’m wearing right now (insert pic here.)”

If you want a guy to chase you, then you need to learn how to push the right buttons.

In other words, you need to know how to turn him on.

The good news is that seducing him doesn’t necessarily require lewd pictures. The right text – coupled with a seductive-but-not-trashy pic – is sure to keep his mind racing.

See, this message helps paint a strong picture. And, since “male arousal, studies find, is strongly visual,” this colorful text and pic combo will help you hit the ‘right spot.’

20) “I’m doing something I probably shouldn’t be doing.”

Nothing gets a man wound up better than imagining his date doing something kinky (even though you’re not, haha.)

See, sending “I’m doing something I probably shouldn’t be doing” will surely drive him wild. It’ll make him text/call you nonstop – until you tell him what you’re doing. (Tip: even if you’re not doing something crazy, make him think like you’re doing so!)

This saucy text will make him think of you all day, every day. So don’t be surprised if he comes chasing after you like a mad hound!

21) “Is it bad/naughty to…”

Just like the text above, messaging him with “Is it bad/naughty to (do this or do that)” will make him obsessed with you.

It’s spicy, but it’s not a flat-out sext that will make him treat you like a conquest (instead of a potential girlfriend.)

As Paul Brian explains in his article “What men want to hear in a text,”:

“If you’re going to turn up the heat or want to explore a more sensual texting exchange, then turn up the heat gradually.

Not only is the guy more likely to get turned on and teased more, but he’s also going to maintain respect for you and be seduced slowly in a way he can’t resist.

If you start sending him nude photos or asking for sexually explicit photos, he’ll categorize you as an easy lay.

But if you gradually turn up the heat in conversations and pique his interest with your unique personality and sensuality.”

Indeed, this text can help you achieve just that!

Final thoughts

What to write to a man to get him chasing you?

In addition to the tips above, I have another suggestion for you: a 12-word text that will trigger a man’s romantic interest in you.

Part of a fascinating concept called the Hero Instinct, this effective text will awaken something inside him; something that will help him see you in a different light. 

According to James Bauer, a relationship expert, if you know what to say to him, he’ll see you as a woman worth chasing. 

Are you ready to take that plunge? If you are, be sure to check out his free video now.

Raychel Ria Agramon

I'm Raye, a nurse licensed in both the Philippines and the US. I also have a Master's degree in Public Management.

Just like helping my patients, I like to empower & motivate readers with research-backed articles.

Why do insecure guys move on so quickly? 10 possible reasons

14 definite signs someone is trying to one-up you (and how to respond)