Boy, am I glad texting was invented!
I may not be 100% introverted but I’m definitely closer to “introvert” than “extrovert” on the personality type scale.
When I need to have an important conversation or talk to someone I don’t know (especially in administrative matters) I’ll be stressed for days and put off making the call for as long as possible.
And if I can get something done by texting instead of speaking to someone, it’s like a weight has been lifted!
I just feel more in control when I can plan and write what I want to say instead of just blurting it out, you know what I mean?
Whether you’re an introvert seeking validation for your texting habits or an extrovert trying to understand your quieter counterparts, read on to find out 8 texting phrases introverts use when they really don’t want to talk on the phone.
1) “Can we chat via text instead?”
This is a pretty straightforward text that lets the other person know that the introvert would prefer to communicate via text.
It doesn’t go into the “whys and wherefores”.
After all, an introvert may not feel like explaining why they’d rather text than call and that’s when a text like this makes perfect sense.
Of course, it may not always be an option.
Let’s say for example that you want to contact someone you don’t know to inquire about something. You’re not gonna be able to send them this text, are you?
However, you may just get away with emailing them! It’s worth looking up their email address before resorting to a phone call.
2) “I’m in the middle of something right now, can we text?” or “Sorry, I can’t talk on the phone right now, but I can text you.”
If an introvert needs an excuse to text instead of talk on the phone, they can opt for one of these phrases.
They’re perfect because they offer a polite reason for not taking a call – i.e. they’re busy.
At the same time, these phrases aren’t dismissive – they say ”I’m open to communication” and offer an alternative to a phone call.
What’s more, as was the case with the previous point, using these phrases avoids having to explain that you’re an introvert who doesn’t feel comfortable talking on the phone and all that stuff.
3) “Let’s discuss this by text, it works better for me.”
Once again, if an introvert doesn’t want to talk and doesn’t want to go into the reasons why, this is a great text phrase to use.
It’s straight to the point and clearly states their preferred mode of communication.
I think it could work in many situations, even when it comes to discussing something with a co-worker or business associate.
4) “I’m not in the mood for a phone call, but I can text.” or “I don’t feel like talking, can we text?”
Personally, I’ve used a variation of these phrases many times.
These phrases are reserved for people close to the introvert because they reveal their current emotional state (not something they may want to share with the whole world).
When I’m feeling down and a friend wants to comfort me, I may not necessarily be in the mood to talk, but I’ll definitely appreciate them being there for me.
Texting is a great way to stay in touch at such times.
5) “I prefer texting, it’s easier for me.” or “I’m more comfortable with written communication.”
Look, an introvert could get tired of looking for excuses to text and pretending it’s something other than the fact that they dread talking on the phone.
That’s when they’ll use these simple and honest phrases to let the other person know their communication preference.
By writing, “I prefer texting, it’s easier for me”, an introvert is basically saying, “I’m not ashamed to admit I feel more comfortable texting than talking”.
6) “I’m not great with phone calls; can you message me?”
Again, an honest and genuine request.
It’s not always easy to admit our weak points (in this case, phone calls) which is why I think it’s brave and admirable when someone comes out and says “I’m not great with phone calls”.
No big deal, no one is perfect, at least they’ve got the courage to admit it.
7) “Can you send me the details in a message?”
There are many reasons someone might ask for the details to be sent by text.
The other person doesn’t necessarily need to know that it’s because an introvert hates talking on the phone.
Maybe they can’t remember details well and would find it helpful for someone to write them down in a message.
8) “I find it easier to express myself through text.”
Finally, it’s 2023 and more and more people feel that it’s easier to express themselves through the “written word”.
So, it’s not all that unusual that an introvert may text this to highlight their preferred means of self-expression.
In fact, I’m ready to bet that a lot of non-introverts today feel that way, especially Gen Zs
Why introverts prefer texting
Two things you need to keep in mind are: First, not all introverts hate talking on the phone and second, they don’t always hate talking on the phone.
It depends on who the other person on the other line is, what the conversation is about, and how they’re feeling that day.
Take me as an example:
- I never think twice about calling my mom.
- When I’m depressed, I’ll text my friend to say I’m not in the mood to talk on the phone but that we can text.
- And as I mentioned earlier, when it comes to administration, I’ll procrastinate until the very last minute!
With that in mind, let’s take a look at some reasons introverts may find phone conversations challenging or uncomfortable:
1) Lack of visual cues
The thing about phone conversations is that they lack the visual cues and body language that in-person interactions provide.
So while an introvert may feel okay talking to someone in person, they may find phone calls daunting.
You see, it’s really important to be able to see the other person to read their body language and see their expression.
This doesn’t apply to all introverts, but some introverts become easily overstimulated in social situations – and that includes phone calls, especially with people they don’t know.
The thing is that without the ability to control the pace of the conversation or take breaks, they end up feeling overwhelmed during phone calls.
They may even find their hearts racing and their palms sweating!
3) Need for preparation
When it comes to important communication or talking to someone who intimidates them, introverts like to be prepared.
I can totally relate.
They need time to think and prepare before interacting.
But phone calls always have an element of spontaneity and don’t always go as planned.
Sometimes we say the wrong thing or get asked something that we didn’t consider in advance.
It’s no wonder we prefer to text than talk on the phone.
4) Reduced control
As mentioned above, you can’t always control the direction in which a phone call goes, and introverts like to feel in control.
With phone calls, the flow of the conversation is more dynamic and immediate, which can be scary for some introverts.
That’s why they prefer written forms of communication such as texting and email.
5) Draining energy
For some introverts, interacting with others (that includes talking on the phone) can be emotionally draining.
Because of all the above-mentioned factors, phone calls often end up being more emotionally draining than in-person or text-based communication.
6) Noise and distractions
Finally, introverts are often sensitive to their surroundings.
Noisy and distracting environments can make phone calls especially challenging for them.
Background noise and constant interruptions can make it very difficult for them to concentrate on the conversation.