Trust me, you’ll get nowhere with a superficial person.
And you don’t want to hang out with one, either.
They focus on outward appearances and couldn’t care less about what is going on underneath.
But they still do care about something – their own self, if that counts.
Because they’re shallow, it is best not to expect much from them. They’re not going to be reliable friends or empathetic lovers because a relationship with them is all about what you provide.
It’s best to stay away from them but sometimes, one or two will come our way.
Here are 17 tell-tale signs that you’re dealing with a superficial person:
1. They are too materialistic
Superficial people’s only goal is to gain as many materialistic benefits as possible.
Some chase money, others chase power or fame but all of these lack substance. They feel entitled to be happy so they focus on what can make them happy immediately, even if it doesn’t last.
2. They have no conviction
A superficial person goes where the wind goes. They have no opinion or conviction that can’t be swayed, convinced out of, or just eradicated without much pressure.
In fact, they can’t be bothered with caring about any “cause” because they only care about themselves.
3. They care so much about how they look
They are all about appearances. They only care about how they look but lack the ability for self-observing and looking deeper inside themselves. Selfishness and superficiality goes hand-in-hand.
They don’t pay attention to observe and notice feelings, behaviors, and thoughts of the people around them. They look like on the outside and not what is in people’s hearts.
For them, good is only good if they get something out of it.
4. Their relationship is self-centered
When they are in a relationship, the relationship revolves around them. It is always about them and their needs. There is no “give and take” in the relationship because they always take from you.
If you are in relationships with a superficial person, it will lack any significant depth because of its one-sidedness and inequality.
It is also the same if you are friends with a superficial person. They only want to be with you because you have something to contribute and give them. Friendships, relationships, whatever, it is all based on “What can you do for me?” philosophy.
In short, they are using you for their own good. That’s not a real relationship, isn’t it?
5. They lack intelligence
This is not about IQ or how high you score on a test. This is about self-intelligence which includes social contract, manners, grace, gratitude, and others.
Intelligence is something that everybody has, but everybody has it in different amounts. People who more socially and emotionally intelligent are able to look deeper and analyze others’ behaviors but a superficial person doesn’t care.
6. They are backstabbers
A superficial person may smile and talk at you but in the back of their minds, they are noticing how they don’t like your hair, your teeth, etc. They are fake people because the emotion they display doesn’t necessarily match what they think.
They may say “Bless your heart,” but then rip you to shreds the moment you aren’t within ear’s distance.
7. “Sorry, I can’t” dominates their vocabulary
I am not saying that people who have depth don’t know when to say no. But when you care for other people, it is normal that you help and pitch in as much as you could.
But superficial people never do – they don’t pitch in, roll up their sleeves, or give their time to something that might not benefit them. They think that there’s nothing in it for them so they don’t give a damn about it.
8. They are judgmental
At one time or another, we’ve held ignorant beliefs about a person or group of people. But the difference between rational people and the superficial ones is that the former doesn’t habitually judge others.
Maybe they do judge sometimes because nobody’s perfect, but not all the time. Superficial people will judge the moment they get the chance – and that is every day.
They will form negative opinions about someone without any evidence, making them toxic people.
9. They live to gossip
Don’t tell your problems to people: eighty percent don’t care; and the other twenty percent are glad you have them. – Lou Holtz
They are busybodies and if they have something to contribute it is typically “Did you hear about…” or “Do you know that he/she..”
They disguise as concerned people but they only want to gossip. They worry about nothing but having a juicy story to tell that puts them in the spotlight.
When you talk with a superficial person, it involves a fair amount of gossip and empty talk. I bet they won’t notice that you’re bored listening to their incessant talking, too. It’s really a one-sided conversation from hell.
10. They only wear branded clothes
Because they’re all about appearances, it’s no wonder that they will also be about the labels and big brands. They don’t want to look cheap so they will not wear anything unless it has a famous label on it.
Not only that, they look down on anyone who isn’t doing the same.
11. They want to be the center of attention
Superficial people thinks the world evolves around them. They are attention grabbers and if they aren’t getting it, they do whatever they can to get it.
They are overreacting drama queens who are all about having the adoration of everyone around them.
You an call them narcissistic who are unable to grasp the difference between good and bad attention.
12. They have an extreme sense of entitlement
The world owes you nothing. It was here first. – Mark Twain
People who are not selfish and narcissistic do not go and act like the world owes them. Life gives us nothing – either we work for something or go without.
On the other hand, superficial people feel entitled to deserve everything – nice clothes, the best house, a new car, and the best-looking partner, just for being them.
13. They don’t listen
If you meet a narcissist, you will quickly notice that they have all the makings of a superficial person. The reason is that the only interesting thing they find are those things that involve them.
For example, a conversation with a superficial person will focus about them. Most of the time, they hijack the conversation so it always comes back to “me.”
14. They are social climbers
Most of us are familiar with the rating system for men and women, where 10 is the highest and 1 is the lowest. If a ten is attached to a two because of the former’s money, power, or status, it’s called being superficial.
They are social climbers and date someone just to up their own status. It doesn’t matter if there is a connection or sexual attraction. What matters is if they can move up the social ladder.
15. They love giving backhanded compliments
Most superficial people don’t know how to give compliments. If they do, then it’s a backhanded one.
Backhanded compliments are about as nice as they get so if they have something nice to say, it will always be followed by something to squash you.
16. They are ungrateful
A superficial person thinks highly of himself so there’s no need to say thank you – you owe them, not the other way around. They are an ungrateful bunch of human beings.
17. They twist the truth
Another sign you’re dealing with a superficial person is that they NEVER accept any corrections – they’re PERFECT!
For them, they never did anything wrong so nothing is ever their fault. They think that their moral standing is taller than anyone else. Last but not least, they believe that they are the hero in every story too.
Being friends with a superficial person requires a thick skin. Be prepared to get used, abused, and manipulated to their whims.
You can’t expect to have a deep relationship with a shallow person – Doe Zantamata
You deserve friends who have your back.
You deserve people whom you can hangout and be with because they love you for who you are – and not because they need something from you.
Being with a superficial person, even if it’s a platonic one, is a mistake. You deserve a meaningful and happy relationship.
So do not settle for less.
A quick message from Lachlan Brown, the founder of Hack Spirit
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