15 things successful introverts always do (but never talk about)

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They’re a lot of misconceptions about introverts like they’re shy, lonely, or unfriendly.

But despite what you may have heard, being an introvert actually has its advantages.

While we’re often taught that we need to speak up and stand out to be successful, introverts can actually achieve more by using their natural strengths.

Here are 15 things successful introverts always do but never talk about. 

1. Always Really Listen

Introverts, more than anyone, understand the importance of truly listening to other people. 

Communication is a two-way street, and responding to someone isn’t the only way to let them know that they’re being heard loud and clear.

The introvert’s proclivity to slowness makes it easier for them to be mindful of what the other person is saying and really pay attention to the information they’re receiving: whether it’s body language or actual verbal information.

Because they feel comfortable with the slowness, they don’t feel the pressure to respond.

Where other people would be quick to give advice, introverts really listen instead of filling the silence with words. 

To them, listening is as natural as breathing.

What’s more, introverts listen not just with their ears but also their eyes.

They’re able to take in changes in their conversational partner’s demeanor, allowing them to adjust and respond authentically.

2. Focus on Deep Conversations, Not Small-Talk

There’s a recurring myth that introverts are socially awkward.

On the contrary, introverts make amazing conversationalists because curiosity comes easily to them.

Once engaged, they are likelier to dig deeper about you than anyone else in the room.

In their own experiences, introverts know that they enjoy conversations that compel people to look inward.

Conversations that involve talking about their feelings or any type of introspection are typically enjoyed the most by introverts.

Knowing this, they tend to extend the favor to people they meet.

This also means they learn more about people than extroverts who zero in on small-talk.

3. Worrying About What Others Think of Them

Other people tend to feel awkward when they go out alone by themselves.

They might feel as if they’re broadcasting to the public that they’re lonely or have no friends, when in reality they do.

Successful introverts have close friends and family, but don’t think twice about going out in public alone.

One of the defining traits of an introvert is being comfortable with being alone.

That’s why successful introverts have no problem with asking for a table for one at a restaurant or buying a ticket for a movie screening.

They enjoy their own company and don’t waste time worrying about how others see them.

4. Remaining in Their Comfort Zone

While successful introverts may not always be the most outspoken individuals, if they’re given the chance, they would make the most out of it.

Even though, say, giving a toast at dinner, delivering a speech, or performing music onstage, is something they might not normally do in their daily lives, they understand that it’s an opportunity for them to grow as people.

Successful introverts aren’t the type to stay within the confines of their comfort zone for very long. They can always go out and try new things to grow as a person.

5. Not Give Themselves Time to Think About and Reflect 

Being alone is not always about watching Netflix or playing your favorite video game.

Sometimes it’s just about giving your mind time to decompress and reflect.

Successful introverts understand that they do their best thinking alone. This is why they always make sure they spend enough time by themselves. 

When you’re with other people, it can sometimes feel like your brain is overloaded with information.

But in solitude, you can reflect and structure information in your head.

You tend to be more creative and have deeper insights when you’re alone.

6. Cultivate Deeper Relationships

An extrovert is the life of the party.

They know everyone’s name and everyone knows theirs; they have the ability to charm the pants off everyone they meet.

They’ll have hundreds (if not thousands) of friends around the world, people they can party with and hang out with at a moment’s notice.

An introvert is completely the opposite.

They don’t see the value in having a hundred superficial, shallow relationships with no foundation; relationships where you barely know the person.

Introverts are drained by these kinds of relationships, which is why they prefer having just a handful of deep and meaningful relationships that last a lifetime with people they really know and love.

This makes introverts superior to extroverts in the art of understanding people, because they’re always analyzing and assessing those around them, trying to see what makes that person tick.

7. Always Be Trustworthy

Since introverts are usually empathetic, they are also trustworthy.

They can connect with others at a deeper level than most.

They seek to understand what you’re saying, allowing the relationship to become more meaningful for both of you.

You can confide in them about your secrets without feeling afraid that they’ll plot against you.

Their relationships are important to their lives, which is why they will do what they can to keep it strong.

This reliability and loyalty is part of their powerful charm.

8. Be Gentle And Kind To Others

Some introverts tend to use more honorifics than necessary; they call you “sir” or “ma’am” even if both of you are around the same age and position.

They say sorry often and mean it.

They open the door for you and do you favors without asking for anything in return.

They aren’t doing this to be submissive, but because they genuinely care and respect you.

Their politeness tends to catch people off guard, which is what makes introverts stand out way above the rest of the crowd.

9. Be Independent

Independent people tend to be inspiring figures.

They are capable of picking themselves up and have no trouble being alone.

Since successful introverts tend to spend most of their time away from others, it’s given them the chance to learn how to be self-sufficient.

By learning to be alone, introverts are able to think deeply about life and their surroundings.

They are able to process their emotions and work themselves through struggles.

They enjoy their solitude and often live simple lives.

They don’t ask for large houses or splurge on fancy dinners.

They are content with their cozy living spaces and tasty meals, regardless of price.

It’s that modesty and unique strength of independence that is so charming to others.

10. Always Be Welcoming

Since introverts tend to be more observant and interested in people, they don’t mind who they’re talking to – or who’s speaking to them.

It could be a high-ranking associate in a company or their janitor – either way, the successful introvert will treat them with the same level of politeness and respect.

They attentively listen to what others have to say, understanding them, and giving them space to be themselves.

11. Don’t Rush To Conclusions

One of the worst things a person can do to you is to jump to conclusions regarding your feelings, and then mislabel what you feel.

It takes a lot of courage to open up to another person, especially if you haven’t done it in a long time.

When you finally let your emotions out and show your true pain to another person, it’s because you trust that they’ll give you the time to process what you’ve told them, and do their best to understand it.

And this is something introverts are likelier to do than extroverts, taking the time to understand everything about you.

A successful introvert won’t rush to conclusions simply because they think they already know the answer.

They understand that every person is unique and has their own unique viewpoint and situation. 

They take the time to understand all the available information, and then they form their conclusion on what to do next. 

An extrovert might feel the opposite, thinking that the sooner they can help a person with their problems, the better it will be for them.

12. Have Mystique

A successful introvert always keeps a level of mystique about them. They don’t reveal everything about themselves to someone they’ve just met. 

One of the things that make introverts so interesting is the fact that it’s difficult to get to know them.

They remain mysteries – and we’re all attracted to a mystery.

We can’t help but wonder who this person is or what they think of us. It’s this subtle mystique that they have that draws us in and pulls us closer to them.

They make us ask, “What are they like in the solitude of their home?”, “What are they thinking about?”, or “What catches their observant eyes and engages their minds?”

They’re mysteries that we can’t help but try to solve.

13. Double Down On Your Passion

Successful introverts double down on their passion. 

At the same time as they’re always curious to learn something new and broaden their horizons, they double down on what they’re best at. 

For example, Renaissance painter, philosopher, scientist, and inventor Leonardo da Vinci was an incredible painter and intellect. 

He doubled down on his key talents of being observant, detail-oriented, skilled at drawing, and curious and put them together into more and more useful and incredible discoveries and inventions that changed the world. 

He kept expanding and branching out, but it was always by doubling down on the qualities and skills he was best at. 

The successful introvert finds out what he or she is best at and pursues where that leads. 

14. Prepare Your Thinking in Advance

Never get caught empty-handed in conversations by preparing your thoughts in advance. Networking with entrepreneurs?

Going to a dinner party with possible partners? Successful introverts understand that preparation is the key.

Especially if you’re looking to connect with someone specific, doing your research early and understanding who your audience is can help you nail your conversations a lot easier.

When you prepare thoughts and ideas beforehand, it’ll be much easier to get ahead of your colleagues and deliver your thoughts with confidence, precisely because you’ve practiced saying these before.

Practicing what you want to say and how you want to convey your thoughts beforehand doesn’t make you any less authentic.

If anything, nailing the delivery and feeling confident is bound to help you feel more at ease.

15. Don’t Worry About What Others Think of You

Other people tend to feel awkward when they go out alone by themselves.

They might feel as if they’re broadcasting to the public that they’re lonely or have no friends when in reality they do.

Successful introverts have close friends and family but don’t think twice about going out in public alone.

One of the defining traits of an introvert is being comfortable with being alone.

That’s why successful introverts have no problem with asking for a table for one at a restaurant or buying a ticket for a movie screening.

They enjoy their own company and don’t waste time worrying about how others see them.

 

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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