Mia Zhang
Ever feel like you’re just going through the motions, accepting less than you should?
You’re not alone.
Sometimes, without even noticing, we let little things slide—a bad habit here, a compromise there—and it starts to chip away at our standards.
Let’s shake things up!
This article will spotlight eight ways you might be unknowingly lowering your bar.
It’s time to wake up, spot these sneaky habits, and kick them to the curb.
Ready to hold onto what truly matters and keep your standards sky-high?
Let’s dive right in!
1) Justifying poor behavior
We’ve all done it at some point – making excuses for someone’s bad behavior, brushing it off as a ‘one-off’ or ‘just the way they are’.
In your heart, you know something isn’t right but you find yourself rationalizing it anyway.
Maybe they’re disrespectful, inconsiderate or simply not treating you with the kind of respect and consideration you deserve.
But instead of acknowledging it and taking action, you make excuses. You tell yourself it’s not that big a deal, that everyone has flaws.
What you might not realize is, this is a clear sign that you’re lowering your standards.
By accepting less than you deserve, by allowing someone to treat you poorly without consequence, you’re effectively telling yourself – and them – that it’s okay.
And it’s not.
You deserve better. And you need to start by expecting better – from others and, most importantly, from yourself.
2) Settling for less in relationships
I remember when I started dating my ex.
He was charming, funny, and seemed to tick all the boxes. But as time went on, I started noticing things that didn’t quite add up.
He’d cancel plans at the last minute, make promises he wouldn’t keep, and seemed to put everything else before me. I wasn’t a priority, I was an option.
But instead of confronting him about it or even considering ending things, I started making excuses for him. I told myself he was just busy, that he had a lot on his plate.
Looking back, I realize now that I was settling for less than what I deserved in that relationship. I was lowering my standards without even realizing it at the time.
And the worst part is, I was doing it willingly – convincing myself that it was okay when it was anything but.
It’s a hard truth to swallow but an important one to recognize.
When you find yourself settling for less than you deserve in a relationship – whether it’s romantic or otherwise – it’s a clear sign that you’re lowering your standards.
3) Ignoring your gut feelings
There was a time when I found myself in a job that looked great on paper. It was in my field, paid well, and had a good reputation.
But something didn’t feel right.
I remember feeling uneasy every morning as I walked into work. I wasn’t excited about what I was doing, and I didn’t feel valued or appreciated.
But instead of listening to that inner voice, that gut feeling telling me something wasn’t right, I dismissed it. I told myself I was being ungrateful or overly sensitive.
Looking back now, I realize that ignoring my gut feelings was another way I was lowering my standards.
I was settling for less than what I deserved because of the fear of stepping out of my comfort zone or upsetting others.
Jobs’ quote rings particularly true here. It’s important to listen to your inner voice and not let others’ opinions or societal pressures drown it out.
Your gut feelings are there for a reason – don’t ignore them.
4) Accepting mediocrity in your habits
Did you know that it takes approximately 66 days to form a new habit?
That’s just over two months of consistent effort to create a change in your behavior.
Now, let’s apply this to our lives.
What kind of habits have we formed over time?
Are they pushing us towards excellence or are we just settling for mediocrity?
For example, you might have the habit of always running late.
You brush it off, saying, “That’s just how I am.”
But is it really?
Or have you simply lowered your standards and accepted this as your norm?
The same applies to habits like procrastination, negative self-talk, or settling for less in any aspect of life.
By accepting these mediocre habits and not striving to better them, we’re lowering our standards without even realizing it.
The good news is, since it takes about 66 days to form a new habit, that means we also have the power to change our habits.
We can raise our standards by consciously choosing better habits and sticking with them until they become second nature.
5) Losing sight of your values
We all have a set of values that we hold dear.
These are the principles that guide our decisions, our actions, and ultimately, our lives.
But sometimes, under the pressures of life or in the pursuit of fitting in, we can lose sight of these values.
I remember a time when I found myself slipping away from my own values. I was so focused on pleasing others and fitting into a certain mold that I started to neglect what truly mattered to me.
I found myself going along with things that didn’t align with my core beliefs, simply because it was easier than standing up for what I believed in.
And that was a clear sign that I was lowering my standards.
6) Neglecting self-care
In the hustle and bustle of life, self-care tends to take a backseat. We get so caught up in our to-do lists, in our responsibilities and obligations, that we forget to take care of ourselves.
We skip meals, compromise on sleep, and ignore our mental health. We convince ourselves that we’re too busy to take a break, too important to rest.
But when we neglect self-care, we’re subtly lowering our standards. We’re telling ourselves that we’re not important enough to be taken care of, that our well-being doesn’t deserve priority.
And that’s not okay.
Your health – physical, mental, and emotional – is paramount. You can’t pour from an empty cup. You need to take care of yourself first before you can take care of anything else.
So if you find yourself neglecting self-care, it’s time to reassess your standards and make yourself a priority again.
7) Letting fear guide your decisions
Fear is a powerful emotion. It can keep us safe, but it can also hold us back from reaching our full potential.
There was a time when I let my fear of failure dictate my decisions.
I’d avoid opportunities that came with a risk of failure or rejection, opting instead for the safer, easier path.
But in doing so, I was lowering my standards. I was limiting myself and settling for less because I was afraid of what might happen if I stepped out of my comfort zone.
What I’ve learned is that fear is a part of life.
But it shouldn’t be the driver of our decisions. It’s okay to feel scared, but it’s not okay to let that fear stop you from going after what you truly want.
If you find yourself holding back because of fear, it’s time to reassess your standards and start taking calculated risks.
8) Compromising on your dreams
We all have dreams – big, bold visions of what we want our lives to look like. But sometimes, in the face of obstacles or setbacks, we might find ourselves scaling back those dreams.
I remember once having a grand vision of starting my own business.
But faced with challenges and doubts, I found myself downsizing that dream, thinking maybe I wasn’t cut out for it after all.
But in doing so, I was subtly lowering my standards. I was telling myself that I wasn’t capable of achieving my original dream, that I should just settle for less.
Yet, our dreams are a reflection of our standards. If we shrink our dreams, we shrink our standards too.
If you’ve seen yourself in these signs, it’s possible you’ve been subtly lowering your standards without even realizing it.
But here’s the important part – recognizing this is the first step towards change.
Awareness is a powerful tool. Once you identify the areas where you’re lowering your standards, you can start to make conscious changes.
Ask yourself – are these compromises and concessions truly serving me?
Do they align with my values, my goals, my dreams?
Your standards are a reflection of how much you value and respect yourself. They’re boundaries that define what you’re willing to accept in life.
Don’t be afraid to aim high. It’s not about being unattainable or unrealistic – it’s about knowing your worth and not settling for less.
