6 subtle signs you’re being manipulated by someone you trust

Have you ever had that gut feeling that something’s off, but you can’t quite pinpoint what it is? 

It’s even harder when the person making you feel uneasy is someone you’ve trusted for years. 

You want to shake off that nagging doubt, yet it lingers, casting a shadow over your relationship. 

In this article, we’ll uncover 6 subtle signs you’re being manipulated by someone close to you. 

Trust your instincts; it’s time to unveil the hidden games at play and take back control of your emotional world. Let’s dive in.

1) You have unexplained anxiety around them

One of the first, and most important, indications of anything wrong in a relationship is how you feel in it.

You might find your heart rate picking up or your stomach knotting when you’re about to meet them, but you can’t quite figure out why. On the face of it, they’ve done nothing overtly wrong. So, why the jitters?

The tricky part is that manipulators often operate below the radar, using subtle tactics that can elicit an emotional response without you consciously realizing what’s happening. 

Your gut feeling is sending you a message, a warning sign that something is off balance in the dynamic between you two.

When you find yourself in this situation, it’s essential to pay close attention to those instincts. Don’t dismiss your feelings as mere “nervousness” or “overthinking.” 

Instead, try to dig deeper. What specific actions or words trigger this anxiety? Is there a pattern? Taking time to self-reflect can help you pinpoint the root cause and better prepare you to address it directly. 

You might say, “I’ve noticed I feel anxious when we’re planning to meet up, and I’d like to talk about why that might be happening.” 

By confronting the issue head-on, you’re taking a crucial step toward understanding the manipulative tactics at play and reclaiming your emotional well-being.

2) They’ve become the person you rely on most

At first glance, having someone you can rely on sounds like a positive thing, right? In most cases, it is. 

But when you start to realize that the person you trust has slowly become the person you rely on for everything — your emotional support, your decision-making, even your sense of self-worth — it’s time to pause and consider what’s happening.

The manipulator often uses this reliance to subtly gain control over you. The more dependent you become, the easier it is for them to influence your thoughts, feelings, and actions. 

Think about it: if they’re your go-to person for advice, they can easily steer you in whatever direction they choose.

And it’s not just about big things like life decisions; it can be small everyday choices too, like where to eat or what movie to watch. 

The point is, when one person holds that much sway over your life, it’s easier for them to manipulate you, whether you realize it or not.

So what can you do to regain your independence? Start by diversifying your support system. Reach out to other friends and family members for advice or emotional support. 

The goal here isn’t to cut the person off but to reduce your level of dependency on them.

3) They make offhand comments 

Offhand comments can be sly and insidious, especially when they come from someone you trust. 

These casual remarks often slide into conversations almost unnoticed, but their impact can be significant over time. 

Perhaps they consistently make sarcastic jokes about a career path you’re interested in, or they offer repeated “constructive criticism” that slowly erodes your self-esteem.

The issue here isn’t just the negativity or skepticism; it’s that these offhand comments subtly influence your perception and choices. 

You might begin to question your abilities or rethink your dreams, not because you’ve genuinely changed your mind, but because their recurring comments have planted seeds of doubt.

So, how can you counteract this covert form of manipulation? First, become aware of it. Listen actively during conversations with them, and if you notice a pattern, flag it mentally. 

Then, validate your own thoughts and feelings on the matter at hand. Your viewpoints are just as valuable as anyone else’s, including theirs.

If you’re feeling brave, you can even call them out on it. You might say, “I’ve noticed you often have something negative to say about [the subject]. Is there a reason you feel that way?” This places the focus back on them and can disrupt the cycle of manipulation.

4) Their priorities always seem to prevail

Ever find yourself reshuffling your plans, goals, or even values to accommodate theirs? It’s a sign that should make you pause. 

In a balanced relationship, both parties’ priorities should have equal footing. But when you notice that their needs, wants, or plans always seem to come first, you’re in dicey territory.

It might start small. Maybe you always pick the restaurant they prefer or watch the movie they’ve been dying to see. 

Then, it escalates to bigger life decisions, where you find yourself bending over backwards to fit into the narrative they’ve crafted. And the whole time, they might not make the same sacrifices for you.

It’s crucial to recognize this pattern because it subtly erodes your sense of self. Before you know it, you’re orbiting around them, and what you want feels increasingly distant and irrelevant.

To break this cycle, start asserting your own needs. You don’t have to do it in a confrontational manner. Simple statements like, “I’d really like to choose our outing this weekend” can be effective ways to start balancing the scales.

5) They always want to help you

When someone always wants to help you, it might initially feel comforting, almost like a safety net that’s constantly there to catch you. 

But when the helping becomes habitual, it might not be as altruistic as it seems. It can become a tactic to position themselves as the “savior,” subtly reinforcing a dynamic where you’re dependent and they hold the power.

Think about the nature of their help. Does it empower you to stand on your own two feet, or does it keep you coming back for more? 

True assistance builds your skillset and confidence, preparing you for a time when you won’t need help. 

On the flip side, manipulative help often leaves you with a lingering need, ensuring you remain reliant on your “savior.”

If you suspect that their perpetual assistance is more about maintaining control than genuine kindness, it’s time for some inner reflection

Assess whether you truly need their help, or if accepting it has become a habit that perpetuates an unhealthy dynamic. 

And if you find that their assistance is creating dependency, consider setting boundaries. You might say, “I appreciate your willingness to help, but I need to handle this on my own to grow.” 

6) You make decisions based on what they’d think

Has it ever happened that you’re about to make a choice — maybe it’s as small as buying a new shirt or as big as choosing a job — and you suddenly stop to wonder, “What would they think about this?” 

If you find that your decision-making increasingly factors in their opinion, sometimes even over your own, you’re entering a dangerous zone.

It’s natural to consider the opinions of people you trust, but there’s a fine line between seeking advice and becoming overly reliant on someone else’s judgement. 

When you cross that line, you’re not only giving them too much power over your life, but you’re also sidelining your own intuition and needs.

So, how do you take back the reins? Start by checking in with yourself first. Before going to them for opinions or making any decision with them in mind, ask yourself, “What do I really want?” 

Make a list of pros and cons if you have to, but let it be your list, based on your thoughts and needs.

Once you’re clear about what you want, then consider other opinions, if necessary. This way, you balance their input with your own inner voice, making sure that you’re not overshadowed by their influence.

Reclaim your power: taking back control of your life

So there you have it — 6 subtle signs that someone you trust might be manipulating you. 

From unexplained anxiety to making decisions based on what they’d think, these signs serve as red flags that it’s time to reassess the dynamics of your relationship. 

The good news is that recognizing these signs is the first step to reclaiming your power and restoring balance in your life. 

Manipulators often depend on us not seeing through their tactics. They capitalize on our trust and emotional investment in them. 

But the moment you become aware, you begin to take back control. Start by acknowledging these signs, then work on setting boundaries and trusting your own instincts again.

Pearl Nash

Pearl Nash has years of experience writing relationship articles for single females looking for love. After being single for years with no hope of meeting Mr. Right, she finally managed to get married to the love of her life. Now that she’s settled down and happier than she’s ever been in her life, she's passionate about sharing all the wisdom she's learned over the journey. Pearl is also an accredited astrologer and publishes Hack Spirit's daily horoscope.

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