7 subtle signs that it’s genuinely love not just infatuation, according to psychology

Ever heard the old saying, “Love is blind”?

Well, it might not be far from the truth, especially when it comes to distinguishing between love and infatuation. Often, we get so caught up in the whirlwind of emotions that we fail to recognize the real thing.

Here’s the kicker.

There are subtle signs that can help you discern genuine love from a mere infatuation. This might be the key you’ve been searching for to avoid heartbreak and find a meaningful connection.

If you’re eager to unravel “Is this love or just an infatuation?”, then you’re in the right place. We will explore 7 subtle signs that it’s genuinely love not just infatuation, all backed by psychology.

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This clear segmentation of ideas also enhances the overall flow and structure of the text, making it easy for readers to grasp each point before moving on to the next.

1) Shared values

It’s easy to get lost in the charm of someone new.

We often overlook the importance of shared values, focusing more on shared interests. But here’s a reality check from psychology: genuine love is built on shared values, not just common hobbies.

When you truly love someone, it’s less about how much you both enjoy the same Netflix series and more about aligning on key life principles.

Shared values are a cornerstone of lasting relationships, not just a fleeting infatuation. 

It’s the shared values that truly make a relationship work long-term.

2) Willingness to compromise

We all know that no relationship is perfect.

Conflict is inevitable, but it’s how you handle these disagreements that can reveal whether it’s love or just infatuation.

Let me share a personal story.

A few years back, I was dating this guy with whom I was utterly infatuated. We had great chemistry and a lot of fun together. But when we encountered our first major disagreement, he was utterly unwilling to compromise.

It was a wake-up call for me.

I realized that genuine love involves mutual respect and compromise. It’s about finding common ground, even when you see things differently.

If you’re with someone who values your opinion and is willing to meet you halfway during conflicts, then you might be onto something special. It’s these subtle signs that indicate the presence of genuine love, not mere infatuation.

3) Being yourself

Let’s face it, we’ve all been there.

In the early stages of a relationship or even a crush, we sometimes put on a bit of a show. We try to be the ‘ideal’ partner, often suppressing our quirks and individuality, just to be seen as ‘perfect’ in their eyes.

But here’s the truth.

Genuine love accepts you for who you are, quirks and all. It doesn’t expect you to be anything but yourself.

After all, love isn’t about finding someone perfect. It’s about finding someone who sees your imperfections and loves you regardless. Someone who doesn’t just tolerate your quirks but adores them.

Next time you find yourself with someone who embraces your authenticity – that’s not infatuation, my friend. That’s genuine love.

4) Patience

Patience is truly a virtue, especially when it comes to love.

Infatuation often feels like a rush, a whirlwind of emotions that’s exhilarating yet fleeting. But love? Love is patient. It doesn’t rush you or demand that things go at a certain pace.

Psychology tells us that love allows room for personal growth and understanding. It gives you the space to evolve and become the best version of yourself, without the pressure of time.

Someone who respects your pace, who takes the time to understand you, and patiently waits for you to blossom in your own time, it’s not just infatuation. It’s genuine love.

In essence, real love is patience, kindness, and understanding. It stands the test of time and grows stronger with each passing day.

5) Empathy

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is one of the most important aspects of any relationship.

Did you know that according to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, couples who demonstrate empathy towards each other have a stronger, more fulfilling relationship?

That’s right.

When you’re genuinely in love, it’s not just about sharing the good times. It’s about being there for each other during the tough times too. You feel their pain as your own, and their joy becomes your happiness.

If you notice that your partner shows genuine empathy towards you – feeling for you and with you – then this could be a sign of true love rather than just infatuation.

You’re likely experiencing the real deal.

6) Acceptance

We all have our past, complete with mistakes, heartaches, and lessons learned. But when you’re genuinely in love, you embrace your partner’s past just as much as their present.

Here’s the kind part – love doesn’t judge.

You accept your partner’s past because you understand it’s shaped them into who they are today. You don’t hold their history against them; instead, you appreciate the journey they’ve been on and how they’ve grown from it.

When you’re with a person who accepts your past— the good, the bad, and everything in between— without using it as a scoreboard or a reason to belittle you, then you’ve likely found genuine love.

Love isn’t about finding a perfect person but loving an imperfect person perfectly. And that includes their past.

7) Consistency

In the world of love and relationships, consistency is key.

It’s not about grand gestures or overly romantic movie moments. Instead, it’s about the small, consistent actions that show care and consideration.

Psychology tells us that it’s these everyday actions— the good morning texts, the shared laughter, the supportive words during a rough day— that truly build a strong, loving relationship.

If you notice this consistency in your relationship, where your partner is reliably there for you through thick and thin, then you’re not just experiencing a fleeting infatuation. You’re experiencing genuine love.

Don’t overlook the power of consistency. It’s often the clearest sign that what you have is real.

The bottom line

Nodding along to these signs? Chances are you’re experiencing something far deeper than mere infatuation.

But here’s what’s crucial to remember – love is not just about spotting these signs, it’s about nurturing them.

Yes, genuine love is built on shared values, empathy, acceptance, and consistency. But it also needs constant care and attention from both sides. It involves mutual respect, understanding, and the willingness to work through challenges together.

Take a moment to reflect on your relationship. Does it embody these signs of genuine love? Are you both committed to fostering these qualities?

Love is a journey, not a destination. It’s an ongoing process of growth and understanding. And as psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction not a destination.”

So keep moving in the direction of genuine love. Keep nurturing those subtle signs. And most importantly, keep being honest with yourself about what you’re truly feeling.

Because at the end of the day, understanding your emotions is the first step towards building meaningful and fulfilling relationships. And that’s what real love is all about.

Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase, a New York City native, writes about the complexities of modern life and relationships. Her articles draw from her experiences navigating the vibrant and diverse social landscape of the city. Isabella’s insights are about finding harmony in the chaos and building strong, authentic connections in a fast-paced world.

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