Mal James
Wondering if she’s really serious or if she’s just going through the motions?
We all have at one point or another.
Well, I have, at least. In my twenties, distinguishing between casual short-term and genuine long-term interest was always a challenge. And I got it wrong more times than I’d like to admit!
However, as it turns out, there are subtle psychological indicators that she sees you as more than just a good friend or a temporary companion.
Today, we get into seven of the most important.
I’m now happily married, so I guess it all worked out in the end. Though, it wasn’t without some bruises. These might just save you (or her) some heartache.
Let’s dive in.
1) She includes you in important decisions
Does she consult you about major life changes? Does she ask for your thoughts on big financial decisions? Does she seek your advice when faced with challenging situations?
If so, it’s a telling sign that she sees a future with you.
As noted by Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, a Professor Emerita of Psychological and Brain Sciences, this is a key sign of depth in a relationship.
It’s not rocket science; when someone is deeply committed, they understand the importance of co-navigating the future. This means she is not only planning her own life but is actively making space for you in those plans.
Whether it’s deciding on a new apartment, considering career moves, or even smaller yet meaningful choices like planning a vacation, her inclusion of you is a testament to her respect and trust in your judgment.
As I said, it’s not rocket science, but it is easy to overlook…as is this next one.
2) She has discussed the “big things” with you
It should come as no surprise that in any relationship, harmony in key areas sets the tone for a robust, lasting partnership.
Marriage and family therapist Jon-Paul Bird has highlighted the importance of this alignment, noting that significant divergences in core life choices, such as whether to have children, can fundamentally challenge a relationship’s future.
Mature women know what they want and what they believe. So what do they do before committing?
They check their partners are on the same page.
Parenting philosophies, financial goals, career paths, and life ambitions— these are not mere preferences but pillars upon which shared lives are often built.
When she discusses these subjects with you, seeking and confirming agreement, it’s an indication of her foresight and seriousness about crafting a future together.
3) She has introduced you to her family (or wants to)
As noted by psychologist Jacquelyn Johnson, this step is much more than a mere formality; it signifies a significant commitment and a desire to integrate you into the most personal aspects of her life.
Being introduced to her family is a sign that she is proud to be with you and is possibly envisioning a future together. It’s an act of trust, showing that she is ready to let you into her inner circle and wants her loved ones to know you.
However, it’s important to approach this milestone with understanding.
If she hasn’t introduced you to her family yet, consider the nuances of her familial relationships. Not everyone maintains close bonds with their relatives, and her hesitation could stem from wanting to protect you or herself from complicated family dynamics.
4) She talks about the future using “we”
“We should visit there next year”, “We should visit there next year”, “We could make this a new tradition,” or “We should plan a weekend getaway soon.”
Sound familiar?
When a woman starts weaving you into the fabric of her future plans, it’s a significant indicator that she sees you as a key part of her life going forward.
This is backed up by experts like therapist Christopher Vo, whom I mentioned above. He told Brides:
“‘We’ language is a signifier that a shared partnership is forming. When partners begin to use inclusive language like ‘we’ instead of ‘I,’ it signifies a unified front.”
Basically, when she discusses future events, be it career moves, living arrangements, or even holiday plans, with a “we” rather than an “I,” it demonstrates her commitment and the serious nature of her feelings towards you.
This forward-looking mindset, where she naturally incorporates you into her future, signifies more than just planning—it’s a testament to her valuing your presence in her life for the long haul.
5) She prioritizes you
When a woman makes it a point to put your needs and happiness at the forefront, it’s a clear indicator that you hold a special place in her life.
This can manifest in various ways, such as rescheduling personal commitments to be there for you when you need support or choosing activities that she knows you particularly enjoy.
This is widely backed up by experts like Christopher Vo, a licensed marriage and family therapist who has explained that “The willingness to selflessly adjust and adapt reflects a deep commitment to each other’s happiness and well-being.”
What may seem like small compromises can actually be a profound demonstration of her commitment and affection towards you.
6) She is vulnerable with you
Opening up in a world that often rewards emotional guardedness is no small feat.
If she chooses to be vulnerable with you, sharing not just the superficial details of her day but the more profound, personal layers of her life, it’s an indicator of her trust and emotional investment in you.
It involves the risk of being hurt. She isn’t just making small talk; she’s letting you see her inner world.
This is well backed up by experts such as Brené Brown, who has noted the courage it takes to show our true selves and the genuine connection it creates.
7) She has your back
Last but not least, another indicator that your girl is highly committed is that she consistently stands by you.
Whether it’s defending you in front of others, offering emotional support during personal struggles, or being your biggest cheerleader during your achievements, having someone who is steadfastly in your corner is not only invaluable, it’s a big sign of commitment.
This was emphasized by Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, who, in a Psychology Today post, noted that while this is often romanticized in great literature, “Partners in more ordinary relationships can still show their love for each other by bonding together against outside attacks.”
The bottom line
And there you have it.
From openness to involving you in future plans to ensuring you’re on the same page with life’s big decisions, these signs indicate she’s seriously considering you as a partner for life’s long journey.
I hope this one’s been helpful.
Until next time.
