Isabella Chase
Manipulative people often have a way of getting what they want without you even realizing it. They use specific phrases to influence and control situations subtly.
Recognizing these phrases can help you spot manipulation before it affects you.
Here are nine subtle phrases that manipulative people commonly use, according to psychology.
1) “I’m just saying…”
One of the sneakiest tactics manipulative people use is veiling their intentions in seemingly harmless phrases.
A classic example of this is the phrase, “I’m just saying…”.
According to psychology, starting or ending a statement with “I’m just saying…” is a subtle way of invalidating any negative reactions to what was said.
It’s a manipulative technique that allows the speaker to express their thoughts or criticisms without taking responsibility for its impact.
It’s like throwing a stone and hiding your hand.
By using this phrase, manipulative individuals can share their unsolicited opinions or subtly belittle others, while maintaining an innocent facade.
2) “Don’t you trust me?”
Trust is a fundamental building block of any relationship. Manipulative people know this and aren’t afraid to use it to their advantage.
The phrase “Don’t you trust me?” is a common manipulation tactic. It’s used to shift the focus from their actions to your response, making you question your judgments and feel guilty for doubting them.
Personally, I remember an old friend who always used this phrase whenever I questioned his actions.
For example, when he borrowed money and didn’t return it on time, questioning him would lead to a response along the lines of “Don’t you trust me? I told you I’d pay you back.”
I ended up feeling guilty for doubting him when, in reality, he was the one failing to keep his promise. In retrospect, it’s clear that he manipulated my trust to avoid accountability.
3) “You’re too sensitive”
Manipulative individuals often resort to gaslighting, a psychological tactic where they make you question your own perception, memory, or feelings.
It’s a sly way of shifting the blame from their actions to your reactions.
A common phrase used in gaslighting is “You’re too sensitive”. It’s a way of invalidating your feelings, making you question your emotional responses and feel guilty for reacting to their behavior.
In fact, the term ‘gaslighting‘ comes from a 1944 movie called ‘Gaslight’, where a husband manipulates his wife into believing she’s going insane by subtly altering elements of her environment and then denying it.
So, if someone consistently tells you that you’re too sensitive or overreacting, they might be trying to gaslight you. Trust your instincts and remember that your feelings are valid.
4) “I never said that”
Another common tactic used by manipulative people is denying or twisting their own words. “I never said that” is a phrase often used to make you question your memory or understanding of a situation.
This strategy is used to create confusion and self-doubt. By denying their own statements or actions, manipulative individuals evade responsibility and make you feel like you’re misremembering or misunderstanding things.
It’s a form of mental manipulation that can lead to a harmful cycle of self-doubt and confusion.
Always trust your memory and instincts over their denials.
5) “You’re misunderstanding me”
Manipulative people are masters at playing the victim and twisting the narrative to suit their needs.
When confronted about their actions, they often use the phrase “You’re misunderstanding me” as a defense mechanism.
This phrase is used to divert attention from their actions and shift the blame onto you, making you feel guilty for not understanding them correctly.
It’s a clever way to avoid taking responsibility for their behavior and make you question your judgment.
Clear communication is key in any relationship. If someone is constantly making you feel like you’re misunderstanding them, it could be a sign that they’re trying to manipulate you.
Trust your judgment and don’t let anyone make you question your understanding.
6) “I did it for you”
A manipulative person often uses emotional appeal to justify their actions and elicit sympathy. “I did it for you” is a common phrase used to make their actions seem selfless, when in fact, they might have ulterior motives.
This phrase is used to make you feel indebted to them or guilty for not appreciating their ‘kind’ actions. It’s a way of gaining control over you and making you feel like you owe them something.
From my own experiences, I’ve learned that genuine acts of kindness don’t need justifications.
If someone consistently uses this phrase to justify their actions, it might be a sign of manipulation. Remember, true kindness doesn’t come with strings attached.
7) “If you really cared about me…”
Manipulative individuals often use emotional blackmail to control others. One phrase that often comes into play is “If you really cared about me…”.
This phrase is used to guilt you into doing what they want, by questioning your feelings or commitment towards them.
It’s a way of making you feel like you’re not doing enough or not caring enough, when in reality, it’s just a tactic to get their way.
I remember a past relationship where this phrase was frequently used. Whenever I didn’t agree with my partner’s wishes, the conversation would always lead to “If you really cared about me, you would do this for me”.
It took me some time to realize that this was a manipulative tactic to control my actions and decisions.
Genuine care and love are not measured by how much we bend ourselves to fit another person’s demands.
8) “It’s all your fault”
Psychology says blame-shifting is a common tactic used by manipulative people. The phrase “It’s all your fault” is often used to divert attention away from their actions and onto you.
This tactic allows them to avoid taking responsibility for their behavior. Instead, they make you feel guilty and responsible for the situation, even when it’s clearly not your fault.
This form of manipulation can be damaging to your self-esteem and mental health, making you feel like you’re always in the wrong.
Remember, it’s important to acknowledge that everyone is responsible for their actions and it’s not your job to shoulder the blame for someone else’s mistakes.
9) “You owe me”
Manipulative people often keep score of their good deeds and use them as leverage when they need something. The phrase “You owe me” is commonly used to make you feel indebted to them.
This tactic creates an imbalance in the relationship, making you feel like you constantly need to repay them for their kindness.
True generosity comes without expectations. Genuine acts of kindness are not a debt you must repay.
If someone consistently reminds you of what you owe them, it might be a sign of manipulation. Always remember, you don’t owe anyone for their acts of kindness.
Final thoughts: The power of awareness
Whether it’s standing up for ourselves, setting clearer boundaries, or seeking professional help, the first step towards positive change is always awareness.
The goal isn’t to become paranoid or start seeing manipulation everywhere but rather to empower yourself with knowledge.
With understanding comes the strength to protect your mental and emotional wellbeing from those who seek to control it.
