8 subtle changes that can save a troubled relationship

When a relationship starts to feel strained, it’s easy to assume that only drastic changes or sweeping gestures can fix things.

But sometimes, the most impactful transformations come from the smallest shifts in mindset and behavior.

If you’re finding it hard to reconnect with your partner or feel like you’re constantly stuck in the same arguments, there’s hope—often, subtle changes can make all the difference.

In this article, we’ll explore 8 surprisingly simple yet powerful adjustments that can help you reconnect, communicate more openly, and rebuild trust in your relationship.

These aren’t quick fixes, but gentle, intentional shifts that can breathe new life into a struggling partnership.

Because sometimes, the key to saving a relationship lies in the details.

1) Communication goes beyond words

We often get caught up in the notion that effective communication is about saying the right words at the right time. But communication goes far deeper—it’s about:

• Understanding
• Empathy
• Connection

Understanding another human being requires us to step outside our own perspectives and truly immerse ourselves in the world of another. 

Rather than focusing on what to say next, focus on truly listening and understanding your partner.

This might mean seeking to understand their fears, their dreams, their motivations. Or it might mean recognizing when they need support and when they need space.

Verbal communication is just one part of the equation. Non-verbal cues, emotional intelligence, and empathetic understanding are equally important.

They are the actions that turn our thoughts and intentions into a tangible reality within a relationship.

2) Embrace conflict as a growth opportunity

Conflict is often perceived as a sign of a troubled relationship. But in reality, conflict can be a catalyst for growth and deeper understanding.

In my own journey, I’ve learned that avoiding conflict doesn’t solve problems—it merely pushes them under the rug.

Instead, we should see conflict as an opportunity to understand our partners better and to strengthen our bond.

It’s not the absence of conflict that makes a relationship strong, but how we navigate through these challenging moments.

It’s about treating each disagreement as a chance to learn more about each other’s values, fears, and dreams. 

When we accept our conflicts and disagreements as they are, we open up the possibility for genuine growth and transformation.

3) Deepen your understanding of love and intimacy

One of the most transformative shifts that can save a troubled relationship is a deeper understanding of love and intimacy.

It’s about dismantling the myth of the perfect partner and ideal relationship, and instead embracing the reality of your present circumstances.

A powerful resource that facilitates this shift is “The Art of Love and Intimacy” masterclass with shaman Rudá Iandê.

This masterclass places individuals at the helm of their personal development, reflecting my belief in personal responsibility and authentic connections.

The teachings challenge societal conditioning around love and intimacy, advocating for self-empowerment and emotional independence.

By recognizing that your relationships mirror your inner world, you can take proactive steps to improve both.

This free masterclass is a powerful tool for anyone seeking to create fulfilling and authentic relationships.

4) Reflect on your relationship with yourself

The relationship we have with ourselves sets the tone for all the relationships in our lives.

If we’re harsh and unforgiving with ourselves, it’s likely we’ll be the same with others.

Conversely, if we’re compassionate and understanding towards ourselves, we’ll bring these qualities into our relationships.

After delving into “The Art of Love and Intimacy” masterclass, you might find that some of the struggles in your relationship are a reflection of internal battles.

It’s often easier to project these onto our partners than confront them head on.

Being honest with ourselves can be challenging. It can be raw and uncomfortable to confront our fears, insecurities, and limiting beliefs.

But it’s this honesty with ourselves that allows us to grow and cultivate more authentic connections.

Change starts from within. So as you move forward, ask yourself this question: Are the problems in your relationship a mirror to the issues within yourself?

5) Let go of the need for control

In relationships, it’s a common instinct to try to control outcomes. We think if we can just get our partner to do this or stop doing that, everything will be perfect.

But this approach often leads to frustration, resentment, and ultimately, a breakdown in communication.

True empowerment comes from recognizing what we can control—our own attitudes, actions, and responses—and letting go of what we cannot.

It’s about taking responsibility for our actions and attitudes and allowing our partners the freedom to do the same.

Instead of trying to control your partner, focus on creating an environment where both of you can express yourselves freely, authentically, and safely.

Encourage open dialogue and mutual respect.

Let go of the need for control and trust in the power of authentic connection.

6) Cultivate a mindset of gratitude

Life’s challenges often make us focus on the negatives—what’s going wrong, what we lack, what we wish was different.

In relationships, this focus can become magnified as we zero in on our partner’s flaws or the issues that are causing discord.

But what if we shift that focus?

What if we consciously cultivate a mindset of gratitude, acknowledging and appreciating the good in our partners and our relationships?

Gratitude can transform our perspective. It encourages us to value what we have rather than longing for what we don’t.

It helps us to recognize the efforts our partner is making, even if they’re not perfect.

Take a moment each day to reflect on something you appreciate about your partner.

Over time, this subtle change can significantly improve your relationship by fostering a greater sense of understanding and appreciation.

7) Prioritize quality time

In the hustle and bustle of life, it’s easy for relationships to take a backseat. We get caught up in work commitments, social obligations, and personal pursuits.

But quality time is essential for any relationship to thrive.

Quality time doesn’t have to be elaborate or expensive. It could be:

• Sharing a meal
• Taking a walk together
• Talking about each other’s day

What matters is that you’re present—physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Make it a priority to spend quality time with your partner.

These moments of connection can strengthen your bond and help you navigate through any challenges that come your way.

8) Practice forgiveness

Holding onto grudges and resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to fall ill. It harms us more than it harms them.

Forgiveness, on the other hand, is a healing balm—it frees us from the burden of past hurts.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing the hurt caused. It means choosing to let go of the resentment and ill feelings associated with it. 

In doing so, you free yourself from the bind of past hurts so you can move forward.

So make a conscious choice to forgive. This subtle shift can make a world of difference in your relationship, paving the way for healing, growth, and a deeper connection.

Embracing subtle changes for relationship transformation

Small changes can often bring the most profound results, especially when it comes to healing and strengthening a relationship.

By making these subtle shifts in how you communicate, show appreciation, and approach challenges, you can create a space where both you and your partner feel valued and understood.

For your first step, I recommend Rudá Iandê’s free masterclass, “The Art of Love and Intimacy”.

This masterclass echoes the insights we’ve discussed here, guiding you to dismantle the myths of ideal relationships and perfect partners.

It will provide practical tools and profound insights to deepen your understanding of love and intimacy, empowering you to cultivate more fulfilling relationships.