Ava Sinclair
We all want to be loved and cherished. This longing for affection and validation is a universal craving that’s deeply ingrained in our very nature.
Yet, curiously, despite this innate desire, some of us behave in ways that subtly push love away. It’s as if there’s a quiet voice inside, whispering that we aren’t worthy of such affection, leading us to act in self-defeating ways.
How do you know if someone has this kind of self-belief?
Today, let’s explore this complex issue. Here are 7 subtle behaviors of people who don’t feel they deserve true love, according to psychology:
1) They avoid compliments like the plague
People who don’t believe they deserve true love often shy away from compliments as if they’re something to be feared.
According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, individuals with low self-esteem often find compliments uncomfortable because they clash with their own negative self-views.
When someone who feels unworthy of love receives praise, it’s like holding a hot potato—they’re eager to get rid of it. They may laugh it off or quickly shift the conversation, not because they don’t appreciate the gesture, but because deep down, they struggle to believe they deserve it.
Weird, isn’t it?
It’s because deep down, they believe they don’t merit the admiration or love coming their way, so they push it aside. They might even laugh it off or change the subject quickly..
2) They consistently put others first
Let me tell you about a friend of mine, Max. Max was always the one to lend a hand, to step up, to put everyone else’s needs before his own. It seemed admirable, right?
But over time, I noticed a pattern. Max never really took time for himself. He was always busy catering to the needs of others. And when it came to love, he would always choose partners who needed ‘fixing’ or ‘saving’, neglecting his own emotional needs in the process.
People like Max, who consistently put others first, often do so because they feel unworthy of receiving the same kind of care and attention in return.
3) They have a high tolerance for negative behavior
It’s common to have disagreements in any relationship. But there’s a difference between occasional quarrels and constant negativity.
Those people often tolerate bad behavior more than they should. It’s like they’ve got this invisible shield that absorbs all the negativity thrown their way.
Well, studies suggest that people with low self-esteem often have a higher threshold for poor treatment because they subconsciously believe they deserve it. It’s like an emotional echo of their internal beliefs, mirroring back what they feel about themselves.
4) They struggle with setting boundaries
It’s about defining what’s okay and what’s not, and it requires a good amount of self-awareness and self-respect.
But for these individuals, setting boundaries is like trying to climb a mountain without any gear. It’s difficult, almost impossible.
They often allow others to overstep their personal space or cross their comfort zone without protesting. This stems from the fear of being seen as demanding or unlovable if they assert their needs.
5) They hold themselves back in relationships
Remember the feeling of falling head over heels for someone? The exhilaration, the joy, the desire to give it your all?
Take me for example. In my past relationships, I often found myself holding back, not fully committing. I would keep a part of me hidden, afraid that if I revealed my true self, I might be rejected.
People who don’t believe they’re worthy of love often behave this way. They hold themselves back, fearing that if they commit fully, they might end up getting hurt or abandoned.
It’s a defense mechanism, a protective wall they build around their hearts. But as I’ve learned over time, to experience true love, you’ve got to be willing to take down that wall.
6) They’re great at giving love, but bad at receiving it
They’re caring, attentive, and always there for their loved ones.
But when it comes to receiving love, they stumble. It’s as if they’ve forgotten how to open the door when love comes knocking.
They struggle with the idea that they too can be loved and cared for just as deeply. Accepting love becomes a challenge because they’re so used to giving and not receiving.
7) They carry guilt from past relationships
Past relationships can leave a lasting impact, especially if they ended on a sour note.
They blame themselves for what went wrong, and this guilt lingers, casting a shadow on their future relationships.
They feel that they don’t deserve love because they’ve messed up before. They’re stuck in a loop of self-blame and regret, which prevents them from moving forward and accepting new love.
Breaking free from this guilt is vital for them to realize that everyone makes mistakes, and it doesn’t make them any less deserving of love.
Embracing the journey towards self-love
As we navigate through these subtle behaviors, one thing stands clear – it’s not an easy journey for those who don’t believe they deserve true love. It’s filled with self-doubt, fear, and guilt.
But here’s the silver lining – recognizing these behaviors is the first step towards change. The path to believing in one’s worthiness of love begins with self-love. As psychologist and author Brené Brown once said, “Belonging starts with self-acceptance.”
It’s a journey, a process of unlearning and relearning, of breaking down walls and building bridges towards self-love. It’s about realizing that you are enough, just as you are.
Take a moment to reflect on this. It might just be the beginning of a beautiful journey towards self-love and acceptance. Because everyone, including you, deserves to be loved deeply and wholly.
