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13 things strong independent people always do (but never talk about)

By nature, humans aren’t built to be independent creatures.

We’re social animals who rely on social bonds, networks, and the communities around us to be our best selves.

And we’re taught from an early age the importance of friends and family, and the help we receive from them.

But some people are just born to be independent.

They don’t have the same desire or need to seek attention and validation from those around them, and they’re more than happy to live their life on their terms.

If you think you might be an independent person, then here are 13 signs you can look out for to confirm it:

1. People Have Said You Have Interesting Tastes

Your tastes are described by others as interesting, sometimes even eclectic. And who can blame them?

You’re not afraid to admit what you really enjoy. Instead of going for the popular option, you enjoy experimentation.

You’re not afraid to find out what you really like when it comes to media, food, and experiences.

The idea of spending a day alone watching obscure cinema or visiting a place you’ve never seen before on your own is all very thrilling.

You don’t really mind if you have no one to share your hobbies with.

At the end of the day, you enjoy those things for what they are, not because you have a community or people to enjoy them with.

2. You’re Not Afraid To Ask For Help

You have a pretty healthy relationship with failure and shortcomings.

Whenever you’ve faced an obstacle in your life your instinct was to reach out to someone who was better equipped to give you advice or help.

You’re not afraid of reaching out to others because you’re secure in your own strengths and weaknesses; the little gaps in your skills and knowledge don’t feel like points against you — just more avenues for exploration.

3. You Are People’s Go-To Person

For some reason, you’re just the person people can rely on.

You’re the responsible one in your friend groups; you’re the person trusted with the big accounts at work; you’re the one people go to when it’s time to fix problems and look for solutions.

People gravitate towards you because they know you’re reliable and trustworthy. People know that they can trust you to get stuff done.

You don’t always have to give advice; sometimes people just go to you because they admire your strength and want some of that for themselves.

4. You’re Comfortable In Your Own Skin

You don’t feel the need to change your look every time the seasons come and go and the latest fashions and trends hit the market.

Even while everyone else around you is sporting the latest hair, styles, and even workouts, you’re more than happy to be yourself.

Why? Because you love yourself, and you love your look and body.

You don’t need the latest of anything to feel good about yourself, because you already feel good about yourself.

And the things that make you feel good about yourself don’t come from other people — they come from inside of you.

5. You’ve Never Had A Bad Relationship

The great thing about being independent is that you’re never going to be susceptible to the wits and charms of users and abusers.

Some people ignore all the red flags because they’re desperate to find someone to love them, and that traps them in abusive and toxic relationships.

But you don’t put up with that, because you don’t need anything from your possible partners.

While it’s great to be in a loving relationship, you don’t need a loving relationship to feel like a complete person, and that means you’re thousand times more selective and more careful when choosing the person you call your partner.

So ask yourself — have you ever had a bad relationship?

6. You More Or Less Have Plans For The Future

With independence comes a strong sense of self, and with a strong sense of self comes the need to plan for one’s future.

You don’t obsess over living in the present because you know that planning for the future is the best way to ensure that you have a happy and successful life, even if it means putting in the work right now.

You are in absolute control of your life. While you might not always know the best choice to make, you are generally on the right path, and you don’t let outside influences knock you astray.

7. You’re Happiest On Your Own

Too many people forgot (or never figured out) what it means to be happy on their own.

So they crave constant attention and companionship, always needing someone else to be there for them, to the point that they get uncomfortable and twitchy in their own solitude.

But you don’t need any of that. You can manage yourself just fine, and you can spend weeks if not months on your own, without any real intimate contact with anyone.

You don’t worry about relationships deteriorating just because you aren’t maintaining them every day.

You feel secure with the people around you.

8. You Don’t Have Problems Saying No

There are some of us who have an incredibly difficult time saying “no” to other people.

We don’t want to disappoint anyone, and even if it inconveniences us, the simple act of pleasing another person makes us feel better than doing anything for ourselves.

Why? Because we are dependent on their opinion of us and will do anything to protect it.

But you aren’t afraid of saying no to people, even if it means hurting or disappointing those around you.

You have the strength to say no when something inconveniences you, and people respect that about you.

You don’t feel the need to put yourself second all the time, and you don’t even need to explain yourself.

9. You Plan Weekends Alone

You love going on dates alone.

You take yourself out to eat, you watch movies, you go to the beach, you shop for yourself — all of these without a companion and without a care in the world.

Why? Because you like doing those things.

There are some people who feel shy and even meek whenever they have to go to places on their own, wondering if people are judging them for being on their own and not having any friends.

But you don’t care about any of that; your idea of a good time is doing something that makes you feel happy, with or without other people.

10. You Find Yourself In Leadership Roles

Independent people have the uncanny tendency of finding themselves constantly filling leadership roles, even when they don’t mean to do it.

And it doesn’t matter what the situation might be — it could be a new project at work, or even something as meaningless as planning an event in an online game.

Whatever it might be, you constantly find yourself leading other people, and you enjoy it.

Why?

Because independent people don’t stop to think about what others might be thinking.

You make decisions fast and with ease, because you can think objectively and without the drama of worrying about everyone else.

You know how to take charge and organize people, because you know what it takes to get the job done.

11. You Don’t Owe Anyone

You hate being indebted to anyone around you.

An independent person can’t stand the idea of owing people things, whether it’s money or favors or anything else.

This is why you rarely ever ask for help as an independent person.

You know it will not only make you morally indebted to another person, but it will also make you seem weak and incapable, when you know that’s the last thing you are.

12. People Mistake You As Rude

Independent people are, unfortunately, a minority in this world.

This is why independent traits can be off-putting to some people around you, to the point that they might even mistake you for being rude.

So what do they think is “rude” about you?

Just the fact that you might not always play by the same rules that comes naturally to everyone else.

You don’t fall in line the way everyone around you does. You don’t blindly follow people you know are wrong.

The same characteristics that make you strong and independent are the traits that also make you come across as threatening and rude to those who don’t understand what being independent means.

13. You Do Whatever It Takes

At the end of the day, one of the best traits of being an independent person is that you’ve spent a lifetime figuring out your own problems, solving your own issues, and fixing your own mistakes.

You don’t wait for someone else to clean the mess, and you don’t walk away from obstacles just because you couldn’t figure it out the first time.

As an independent person, you do whatever it takes, every single time. You push yourself to the limit to prove to yourself that you can survive and thrive in this world on your own, independently.

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Lachlan Brown

Written by Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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