There’s a massive gap between being single and settling for less than you deserve.
This gap, my dear readers, is filled by emotional maturity. You see, staying single until you find someone with this trait is crucial in building a healthy and lasting relationship.
As Tina Fey, the founder of Love Connection blog and a relationship expert, I’ve seen countless relationships thrive or fail based on the measure of emotional maturity.
I’m here to tell you not to be afraid of being single. Instead, embrace it until you spot someone showcasing these eight signs of emotional maturity. Trust me, the wait will be worth it.
1) They’re self-aware
Emotional maturity isn’t just about understanding others; it also involves a deep understanding of oneself.
As a relationship expert, the number one sign of emotional maturity that I see is self-awareness. This trait is absolutely critical in a healthy and functioning relationship.
Why? Because self-aware people are conscious of their thoughts, feelings, and actions. They take ownership of their mistakes and are quick to apologize when they’re wrong.
Self-aware individuals don’t place blame on others for their own emotions or reactions. Instead, they take responsibility for their actions and work towards improving themselves.
If your potential partner possesses this trait, it’s a solid indication that they have the emotional maturity you need in a relationship. However, keep in mind that it must be genuine self-awareness, not a facade, for it to truly count.
Before you consider getting into a relationship, observe how self-aware your potential partner is. It could save you from future heartbreaks.
2) They can handle conflicts gracefully
Remember when I mentioned emotional maturity being crucial to a lasting relationship? A big part of it is how someone handles conflicts.
Conflict is inevitable in any relationship. But the way we approach and resolve it can tell a lot about our emotional maturity.
If your potential partner can discuss their issues openly, listen to your viewpoint, and find a mutual solution, that’s a sign they can handle conflicts gracefully. They understand that it’s not about winning an argument, but about resolving differences and strengthening the relationship.
I’m reminded of a quote by Albert Einstein, who once said, “In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity”. This is particularly true in conflicts. They’re opportunities to learn, grow and understand each other better.
3) They respect boundaries
One of the surefire signs of emotional maturity is respecting personal boundaries.
Boundaries, my dear readers, are essential for a healthy relationship. They are the limits we set with other people, which indicate what we find acceptable and unacceptable in their behavior towards us.
An emotionally mature person understands and respects these boundaries. They won’t pressure you to do something you’re uncomfortable with or invade your personal space.
I delve deeper into this topic in my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. It’s a guide to understanding and setting healthy boundaries, among other relationship essentials.
4) They’re comfortable with your independence
Here’s a counterintuitive point – an emotionally mature person won’t always need to be by your side.
Yes, you read that right. Emotional maturity doesn’t equate to being inseparable. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.
An emotionally mature partner understands that you are your own person with individual passions, interests, and friends. They appreciate that you have a life outside of the relationship and they’re comfortable with it.
They don’t feel threatened by your independence; instead, they celebrate it. They understand that a strong relationship consists of two whole individuals, not two half individuals trying to complete each other.
5) They have empathy
Empathy, my dear readers, is a trait that is close to my heart.
Being able to understand and share the feelings of another isn’t just a sign of emotional maturity; it’s a sign of humanity. In a relationship, empathy allows us to connect with our partners on a deeper level.
An emotionally mature person can empathize with you. They can put themselves in your shoes, understand your perspective, and validate your feelings even when they don’t necessarily agree with them.
In my years as a relationship expert, I’ve seen empathy mend many relationship rifts. It builds trust, understanding, and most importantly, emotional intimacy.
6) They’re not afraid of vulnerability
Here’s the raw truth: emotional maturity involves vulnerability. And let’s be honest, vulnerability can be scary.
It means opening up, showing our true selves, sharing our fears, hopes, and insecurities. It involves risk, the risk of being hurt or rejected. But without vulnerability, a relationship lacks depth and connection.
An emotionally mature person understands this. They aren’t afraid to be vulnerable with you, to share their authentic selves. They know that it’s through this vulnerability that a deep and meaningful connection is formed.
7) They have active listening skills
In my experience as a relationship expert, I’ve noticed that one of the most overlooked signs of emotional maturity is active listening.
Active listening is not just about hearing the words that are being said. It’s about really understanding the complete message being sent. It requires focus, patience, and genuine interest in understanding your partner.
A wise man, Stephen R. Covey, once said, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” An emotionally mature person breaks this norm. They listen to understand, not just to respond.
Pay attention to how your potential partner listens to you. If they truly hear you and strive to understand your viewpoint, it’s a powerful sign of their emotional maturity.
8) They can say “I’m sorry”
Here’s the honest truth: we all make mistakes. It’s a part of being human. But admitting to them? That requires emotional maturity.
A person who can sincerely apologize when they’re wrong is showing a significant level of emotional maturity. They acknowledge their mistakes, take responsibility for their actions, and strive to make amends.
It’s not about ego or pride for them, but about maintaining trust and respect in the relationship. It’s about acknowledging that they are not infallible and that they value the relationship more than being right.
Conclusion
Being single is not about waiting for someone to complete you, but about preparing yourself to meet someone who complements you.
Remember, emotional maturity is crucial for a healthy and long-lasting relationship. Look for these eight signs in your potential partner: self-awareness, conflict resolution skills, respect for boundaries, comfort with your independence, empathy, vulnerability, active listening skills, and the ability to apologize.
And most importantly, never settle for less than you deserve.
For more insights and advice on building a healthy relationship, check out my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. It’s a guide to understanding emotional maturity and setting healthy boundaries.
Remember, love is not about finding the right person, but about being the right person.
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