How can a spiritual awakening end a relationship?
You would think that one person going through a spiritual awakening can only be a good thing. After all, spiritual awakenings are meant to make you more at peace with yourself.
But problems can occur in relationships when one person goes through a spiritual awakening and the other person doesn’t.
The reason this causes tension is that one person has come to a series of profound realizations about their life and the other person struggles to comprehend what’s going on.
If you feel like a spiritual awakening may be ending your relationship, then keep reading.
I’m going to share 10 classic signs that a spiritual awakening is ending a relationship. I’ll also cover the ways to tackle the pain of losing loved ones after a spiritual awakening.
This way you can continue focusing on your spiritual journey instead of holding onto stagnant relationships.
What is a spiritual awakening?
You might have heard of the terms: spiritual experience, rebirth, physic change, or enlightenment.
All have subtle differences but in mainstream use, they tend to point towards having a spiritual awakening.
Spiritual awakenings are different for everyone, but PsychologyToday provides a universal definition:
“Spiritual awakenings occur when we see glimpses of the much bigger picture around us and find humility in the moment. We can become aware that humility is not thinking less of oneself, but rather thinking of oneself less, and that we are worthy of self-compassion.”
It’s the moment in your spiritual journey where you overcome thoughts of the future or memories of the past, the ego, and all superficial desires.
Lachlan Brown, the founder of HackSpirit describes a spiritual awakening as, “a slow, gradual process that happens when a person understands that their existence goes beyond the confines of the ‘I’ or the ego.”
Something shifts in your perception of the world. You’re no longer just you; you’re part of something much bigger, in which every living thing is connected.
But that doesn’t mean you’ve achieved perfection, it’s more about being aware of what’s going on inside you and externally, paying attention to the spiritual flow of the world, and seeking knowledge about the life around you.
It’s a process that is different for each of us. No two spiritual awakenings will be the same, because we all have different perceptions and each goes through their own spiritual journey.
What does remain in common is how a spiritual awakening can make you feel alienated, misunderstood, and frustrated when it comes to the relationships you had before becoming enlightened.
It’s not an easy journey, and the effect it has on your relationships can at times be very painful.
On one hand, you begin to understand your purpose in the world, you can explore your passion and creativity, and live life being your true authentic self.
On the other hand, you might feel intense pain at the changing relationships around you. Those who were once a source of comfort and understanding are no longer on the same frequency levels as you.
It’s also inevitable. As you grow in your spirituality, you naturally change from who you once were and this can put a strain on your relationship with friends, families, and partners.
And as much as this can hurt, once you’ve gone through a spiritual awakening, there’s no turning back.
In this article, I’ll be using the term “relationships” to mean every type: family, romantic partners, and friends.
10 ways a spiritual awakening can affect your relationships
1) You might feel drained by other people’s energies
Have you ever got home from hanging out with a friend and felt completely exhausted and drained?
We’ve all come across people like this during our lifetimes, whether we’re spiritually awakened or not.
They don’t mean to drain your energy, but whether it’s through being super energetic or extremely down and depressing, some people just take it out of us.
You might have been aware of this before becoming spiritually awakened, but after your transformation, it all becomes much more obvious.
This is because you have changed significantly, and so has your energy.
Your thoughts, feelings, and processing of those around you have changed, and you can no longer handle being around certain people.
Unfortunately, some of those people might already be in your close circle, or even a parent or partner.
It’s a sad truth to face, but your soul starts to search for people with energies that match yours.
And for the energies that don’t – you won’t be able to ignore the feeling of being completely out of sync with them and tired out by their presence.
2) You don’t attract the same type of people anymore
As you evolve within yourself and in your spirituality, the people you attract will start to change too.
You’ll find yourself being unable to connect with former types of friendships or relationships and instead be drawn to people with similar spiritual energy to you.
Whilst this might not happen overnight, trust that the universe will put someone in your path who understands you and is on the same wavelength.
Even though it can feel lonely at times, trust that the right people will be drawn to you and the loneliness doesn’t last forever.
In some cases, it’s simply part of the process.
The more you accept the changes to your current relationships, the more you’ll be open to forming new ones which are much more enriching to your life.
3) You feel misunderstood
Feeling misunderstood by the people closest to you is one of the main feelings that people who go through a spiritual awakening feel.
And it makes sense.
Picture how your life has changed, expanded, and pushed the boundaries of what’s ‘normal’.
Now imagine your friends and family who haven’t gone through this change.
They can’t begin to imagine the changes which took place at the core of you, including how your perception of the world has changed.
Unless you are blessed with very open-minded people in your life, the heart-sinking experience of watching your loved one’s zone out as you explain your newfound spiritual knowledge will inevitably take place.
If you’re lucky, some might try to take an interest, other’s will politely listen but ultimately you’ll never feel truly understood until you meet someone who is also spiritually aware.
4) You might feel lonely
Leading on from the previous point, without the understanding of your loved ones, spending time with them can start to make you feel lonely.
You might physically be together, but as you’re not connecting on the same levels anymore, you can start to feel isolated and alone.
It’s a very painful thing to experience, especially if it’s around people who you once found much comfort and company in.
No one longs for loneliness, right? But some long for understanding and a new awareness of the life they live.
It’s tough, but it’s all part of the process. You’ve experienced something which has inherently changed you, and you can no longer pretend to be something you aren’t.
5) You start to see your relationships differently
A new perspective on a relationship can be hard to accept at first.
I’ve recently had an experience that sums this point up perfectly.
A cousin who I was extremely close to growing up came to stay with me, after a few years of not seeing each other.
From childhood, ours was a relationship I never doubted.
But by day 1 of her stay, it was clear we were no longer on the same page. By day 7, I couldn’t wait to get back to people who’s energy matched mine.
I had spent the last few years trying to expand my mind, learn more about myself and the world around me.
My spiritual journey may still be in the beginning steps, but I’ve tried to work on opening my mind and soul and challenging old habits and thoughts.
My cousin hadn’t. It’s as if time had stood still for her, living in a bubble that is comfortable but not at all challenging or encouraging of growth.
During and after her stay, I had a lot of questions internally about our relationship, and with a heavy heart, I had to accept that we were on completely different levels in life.
From the questions we both ask about life to the way we view ourselves, we couldn’t have ended up more different.
It was one of the most painful truths that I’ve had to accept, and even though it hurt, it was also liberating to know that I have taken a path of growth instead of staying stagnant.
The love isn’t gone, but the relationship is certainly not the same. You might find that this happens to you as well, especially once you’ve gone through a spiritual awakening.
You begin to see people for who they are, not who you wanted or imagined them to be.
6) You have less in common with your close friends
As you embrace your spiritual journey and start to pay more attention to what truly makes your soul energized and happy, you may find with close friends or even a partner, you have less and less in common.
Whether it’s your hobbies, passions, or just the things you talk about, you’ll begin to notice the difference between you and your close ones.
Whilst you’re looking at the bigger picture of things and working out how certain events might be linked or connected, your close ones might be viewing the same situation in a completely different way.
Growth is uncomfortable, and since you’ve plunged straight into it during your spiritual awakening, you might find that all those things you once had in common with your loved ones gradually fade away.
7) Some relationships become frustrating
We all know the frustration that comes with miscommunication or not seeing eye-to-eye with someone.
A person who has gone through a spiritual awakening might find that their old relationships become tense due to the lack of understanding.
You’ve gained so much knowledge on the world around you, yourself, and your spirituality, why haven’t they?
It hurts you because you want them to experience it for themselves. You want them to try and be the best they can be, to be aware of the flow of life which is much bigger than just themselves.
But they can’t. At least not on the same level as you.
I know it’s frustrating, but you have to keep in mind that everyone’s journey is different. Some may also embark on a spiritual path and others will never give a second thought to it.
Being frustrated with these relationships is completely normal, and eventually, you either learn to embrace the relationship in a different way or take your separate paths.
8) Ignoring energies which no longer align with yours becomes hard
Have you ever had a friend or partner who you knew wasn’t quite right for you, but you went along with the relationship anyway?
Maybe out of curiosity or maybe just because they had some nice qualities which kept you in the relationship.
But deep down, you knew you hadn’t connected with them from your soul. It’s a superficial relationship but a comfortable one.
If so, you’ll understand what I mean when I say this becomes very hard to turn a blind eye to when you’re spiritually awakened.
You can no longer entertain people who don’t have similar frequency levels to you.
You can’t spend hours in their company, pretending to laugh or be interested in the same things as them.
This isn’t because you’re better than them or that they’re bad people.
It’s because you’ve become so aware, so awake to life around you, that it almost becomes painful to be around those who aren’t.
You know that around them, you struggle to be completely yourself. And this goes against what you should be feeling and doing after a spiritual awakening.
9) Conflict starts to arise
Conflicts in relationships happen, but after a spiritual awakening, you might find that these problems get worse.
Let’s use the example of two partners.
One has experienced a spiritual awakening and the other has no interest in it. As the enlightened partner tries to embrace life in a much more authentic, in tune with the universe way, the other partner might become resentful or confused.
They won’t be able to understand what’s changed in their partner. This might scare them or make them feel nervous.
From the point of view of the awakened soul, they might start to feel like their partner is holding them back or not supporting them in their spiritual journey.
People grow apart and conflicts arise for all sorts of reasons, but a spiritual awakening is a hard one to resolve unless the other partner takes the time to understand the changes which have happened.
10) You become unrecognizable to them and vice versa
As you’ve changed as a person, your loved ones might not see you in the same way, and you may start to view them differently too.
Although you may still love each other, you might begin to feel like you don’t recognize who they are anymore.
And to them, you can seem like a whole new person.
Your outlooks have changed. The way you live your life has evolved, and you take pleasure in living in the moment, vibrating in sync with the energy of the world around you.
Imagine who you were before that transformation.
Probably someone very different from who you are now, right?
Except you’ve made the changes yourself, and you can see where you’ve progressed and which challenges you’ve faced.
Your loved ones might not see all of that background on your journey. To them, you were once one way, and now you’re something different.
Does a spiritual awakening mean a complete end to your relationships?
So whilst it might feel like all your relationships as you know them are coming to an end, does that mean you have to leave everyone you’ve ever loved behind?
You don’t have to cut ties with friends and family who have different energies to you, but you may have to adjust the relationship.
For those around you, there are usually three typical responses to your new-found spirituality:
A positive response
If your partner or family has a positive response, that’s great news. It means that they are willing to support you and take an understanding approach to your life changes.
They might not embark on a spiritual path themselves, but they won’t reject learning about it either (to understand you better).
A neutral response
This means that they are indifferent to your changes.
It might be a little upsetting that they aren’t taking more interest in something which means a lot to you, but they’re also not getting in your way or holding you back.
A negative response
If your partner or family responds negatively, this can start to affect the relationship in ways that might be beyond repair.
If they don’t take your spirituality seriously, or they try to make the process harder for you, eventually the relationship will probably break down.
Depending on which response you get, you can decide on how to continue with the relationship.
Some will be easier than others to hold onto, and some you may feel have come to a natural end.
Life is a series of different relationships, some will continue for years and others will become fleeting memories.
The main thing is to focus on the relationships which add value to your life and allow you to embrace your spirituality, without judgment or negativity.
5 ways to handle the changes to your relationship after a spiritual awakening
Whether you end up parting ways with certain people in your life, or you decide to keep the relationship going in a way that works for you both, the changes can be tough to deal with.
Here are some steps to take in making the process easier:
1) Trust in your journey
Whenever we take steps to better ourselves, it’s only natural that doubts will pop up from time to time.
An experience like a spiritual awakening isn’t an everyday thing, so it’s quite normal to be unsure if you’re doing the right thing.
Add into the mix the fact that you might lose close friends or loved ones and it’s easy to understand where doubts might creep in.
In this situation, you need to have trust in yourself and in the spiritual journey that you’ve embarked on, regardless of what people around you might say.
2) Accept that some relationships will naturally change
As you move through life, the relationships around you are ever-changing, and most of the time it’s for the right reasons.
People come and go, some stay on longer because they’re valuable and add worth to your life, others simply stay for some time.
Sometimes they are a blessing, and sometimes they are a lesson.
Resisting this natural flow won’t make you feel better in the long run. Knowing when to take a step back can save you from relationships that could turn toxic.
3) Don’t be afraid to open up
If you face a situation where you don’t want the relationship to break down, but the other person has a very negative response to your awakening, you might need to overcome your fears of rejection and judgment.
And by that, I mean opening up and communicating with that person.
It’s not an easy step to take, especially if you already have a complicated relationship or history.
But sometimes it’s the only way forward.
Be honest about your spirituality, share with that person how you feel and why you’re concerned about the relationship.
Ultimately, if love and respect are there, you’ll both agree to be understanding of each other, even if it does mean the relationship is different.
If they don’t, then you know where you stand and that you’ve tried your best.
4) Surround yourself with likeminded people
You are the company you keep, as the old saying goes.
Whilst it might not be true in every situation, the majority of the time the people you surround yourself with can have a huge impact on your mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
If you find that your old or current relationships are struggling because of your spiritual awakening, see it as an opportunity to narrow down your circle and find people who are on the same frequency level as you.
You’ve taken steps to open yourself as a person, open your soul to be more in tune with the world, and now it’s time to open yourself up to new and more fulfilling relationships and friendships.
5) Don’t give up hope (but don’t sit around waiting either)
The ending or changing of a relationship doesn’t have to be the end of the world.
Of course, it’s painful and something we all try to avoid, but always keep in mind that people can change.
Just because a relationship breaks down now, there’s nothing to say that you won’t reconnect with that person again in the future, if and when your energies are more aligned with each other.
Just as you have opened yourself up to spirituality, they may too one day be more understanding or even interested in it themselves.
So instead of seeing it as the end of a relationship (which in some cases, it may just be) try to see relationships as an evolving process.
Those that are meant to be in your life will come back around, and hopefully, the relationship will be even better and stronger the second time around.
As no two spiritual awakenings are ever the same, it’s hard to predict how you might handle these changes in your life.
Relationships play a massive role in our lives, and there’s no denying that losing a connection with someone you love deeply can hurt.
But keep in perspective that after a spiritual awakening, it’ll hurt much more to keep losing a piece of yourself to someone who doesn’t align with you anymore.
Besides, the ending of one relationship opens the way for new souls to make their way into your life, and you may meet people who connect with your spirituality instead of complicating it.
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