6 specific phrases classy and mature women always avoid

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In the society we inhabit, words carry a lot of weight. Yet, it’s not just about what you say but how you say it.

It seems self-evident. We’re experiencing an era of rampant misinformation and miscommunication, so it seems logical to evaluate people based on their choice of words rather than just their thoughts or intentions.

Let’s delve deeper into this.

What’s even more significant than your words are the implications they carry. This means that your thoughts do matter, but only to the extent that they influence your speech in a way that enhances your persona and the perception people hold about you.

Here, I’ve outlined 6 specific phrases that classy and mature women always steer clear of.

1) “I can’t help it”

Reflect on your dialogue now. Often, you will find this phrase slipping out almost involuntarily. “I can’t help it” – a common phrase that subtly undermines your control over your actions or reactions.

If you’re aspiring to be a classy and mature woman, it’s essential to realize that this phrase doesn’t suit your vocabulary. You’re operating consciously.

It’s crucial to discard the illusion of helplessness that comes from using phrases like that. It’s a defeatist phrase.

Your actions and words should always reflect strength and control, and they are most influential when they are well thought out. When you act deliberately.

2) “That’s not my job”

This understanding came to me in a corporate setting.

Advice on building a professional image usually revolves around “sticking to your role” or “not overstepping your boundaries”. While this is generally the norm, it’s not the hallmark of class and maturity.

Instead, class and maturity come from taking ownership and showing initiative. It’s about observing opportunities to contribute, even if they fall outside your designated role. As a timeless adage goes:

“Don’t wait for extraordinary opportunities. Seize common occasions and make them great.”

When you often say, “That’s not my job,” you limit your growth potential. You give too much power to your job description. You relinquish your capacity to make a difference.

Now, I encourage less reliance on this phrase. Sometimes there are tasks that aren’t strictly within my purview. Other times, there are opportunities that require me to step outside my comfort zone. I don’t let this deter me anymore.

3) “It’s all their fault”

Grasping this concept was challenging.

“Blaming others” originates from the notion that my problems are the result of others’ actions. But the truth is that my reactions to these actions are what create the real impact.

Let’s break it down.

Consider your current situations. The coworker who made a snide comment, the friend who cancelled plans at the last minute, the partner who forgot an important date. While processing these actions, you may have naturally shifted blame onto them.

But if you’re aiming to embody sophistication, it’s crucial to comprehend that playing the blame game isn’t your forte. You’re operating responsibly.

It’s vital to dispel the mirage of blame that comes from believing others are solely responsible for your happiness or discomfort. They aren’t. Your reactions do, and they hold the most gravity when they come after careful consideration. When you react thoughtfully.

4) “I don’t have time”

I started this list by focusing on phrases and language.

The thing is, phrases and language also determine how we treat ourselves and others.

In my case, I find myself becoming overwhelmed with tasks. I get wrapped up in the hustle of daily responsibilities.

My intentions are good. I want to be efficient and productive.

But when I get so overwhelmed, I can slip into using the phrase “I don’t have time”. I start prioritizing tasks over relationships. I can lose touch with friends. I become irritable and perhaps not such a pleasant person to interact with.

If I judged myself for my intentions, I wouldn’t question my usage of the phrase.

Instead, because I don’t focus on my intentions, I am more able to reflect on my language and change how I communicate. I am learning to manage my time better and value the people in my life.

What you communicate is what matters, not the intentions that drive your language.

5) “I know, but…”

This one hit close to home.

As a writer, I sometimes find myself in discussions or debates about various topics. I’ve always prided myself on being knowledgeable and well-read. My intentions were always to contribute positively to the conversation or to share a unique perspective.

However, I noticed a phrase that would repeatedly sneak into my responses: “I know, but…”

On the surface, it seems harmless. A simple transition from acknowledging another’s point to presenting my own. But over time, I realized it was subtly conveying a disregard for others’ perspectives. It was as if I was saying, “I hear you, but what I have to say is more important.”

It was a sobering revelation.

As anyone striving for grace would understand, dismissing others’ viewpoints isn’t the way forward. It’s about respecting differing opinions and fostering meaningful dialogue.

So, I started consciously avoiding “I know, but…” in my conversations. The change was remarkable. Not only did discussions become more engaging and fruitful, but I also noticed an improvement in my relationships.

6) “It’s just how I am”

Classy women hold a deep understanding of personal growth and believe in the power of change. They see themselves as evolving individuals, whose experiences can shape their personality and whose actions determine their character.

Here’s the key point:

This understanding discourages the use of phrases like “It’s just how I am”, reflecting an appreciation for personal development and the ability to grow.

For those feeling stuck, acknowledging our capacity for change can provide a sense of empowerment. It’s a reminder that we are part of a larger journey, a continuum that stretches from past experiences to future possibilities.

Avoiding such phrase encourages us to see our journey as part of a larger narrative of growth and can provide a sense of purpose and potential.

Bottom line: It’s about respect

The subtleties of our conversations and interactions often have profound connections with our core values.

One such connection is the relationship between mature women and their choice of phrases.

These phrases, or rather, the avoidance of certain phrases, act as a beacon of their respect for themselves and others, playing a pivotal role in their interactions.

Whether it’s engaging in meaningful dialogue, navigating through challenging situations, or simply expressing thoughts, the underlying respect and maturity are enhancing their interactions.

As Maya Angelou once said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” The avoidance of these  phrases is a testament to this wisdom, underlining the importance of thoughtful communication that leaves a positive impression.

Ava Sinclair

Ava Sinclair is a former competitive athlete who transitioned into the world of wellness and mindfulness. Her journey through the highs and lows of competitive sports has given her a unique perspective on resilience and mental toughness. Ava’s writing reflects her belief in the power of small, daily habits to create lasting change.

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