If someone says these 10 phrases, they’re likely feeling insecure

Ever heard someone say something and thought, “Hmm, they might be feeling a bit unsure of themselves”?

Sometimes, what people say can give away their hidden feelings of insecurity.

In this article, we’ll look at some of those giveaway phrases.

Let’s get started. 

1. “Do you think I’m overreacting?”

This is a classic one.

When someone asks this, they’re often second-guessing their feelings or reactions.

They might be worried that their emotions aren’t valid or that they’re making a bigger deal out of something than they should.

It’s a way of seeking validation from others, hoping for reassurance that their feelings are okay and understood.

If you hear this, a gentle affirmation or a listening ear can go a long way.

2. “I’m sorry, I know I’m being annoying.”

Deep down, this isn’t just an apology. It’s a window into how they view themselves in that moment.

They may genuinely feel they’re a burden or that they’re being too much for those around them.

This phrase often emerges when someone is hyper-aware of how they might be perceived and is anxious about overstepping boundaries or being disliked.

When you come across someone expressing this, it’s essential to reassure them and remind them of their value.

Sometimes, all they need is to know they’re not alone in their feelings.

3. “I’m totally fine!”

Now, you might be thinking, “Wait, how does that indicate insecurity?” 

While it seems like a straightforward affirmation of well-being, the emphasis or the context can betray the genuine emotions hiding beneath the surface.

People often use this phrase as a defense mechanism, hoping that by saying they’re fine, others won’t probe deeper into what’s really going on.

It’s like putting on a brave face when inside, they’re anything but fine.

When you encounter this, sometimes it’s worth taking a step back, observing their body language and context, and gently offering a safe space for them to open up if they want to.

4. “No one ever really gets me, you know?”

Back in my school days, I had a friend who’d often say this after sharing a story or an opinion.

It’s a phrase that resonates deeply with many, revealing a longing to be truly understood and accepted.

When someone mentions feeling misunderstood, it showcases their insecurity about fitting in or being truly connected with others.

It’s like they’re dangling a line, hoping someone will take the other end and say, “I get you.”

If you ever come across this, it might be a good time to share a personal anecdote or simply sit down and genuinely listen to their stories, making them feel seen and heard.

Sometimes, that’s all it takes to bridge the gap.

5. “It’s probably stupid, but…”

This is a preface we hear all too often before someone shares an idea, feeling, or thought.

By leading with this, the person is already downplaying their contribution, anticipating that others might dismiss or ridicule it.

It’s a protective shield, cushioning them from potential criticism.

Every time I hear it, I’m reminded of a colleague who had brilliant ideas but often lacked the confidence to voice them outright.

If you encounter someone using this phrase, it’s a golden opportunity to encourage them.

Validate their thoughts and let them know that what they have to say is valuable.

Over time, it might just give them the confidence boost they need to shed the preface and speak their mind.

6. “I know I’m always lucky.”

On the surface, this sounds like a positive acknowledgment of one’s fortunate circumstances.

But delve deeper, and there’s often a different story.

When someone repeatedly attributes their successes to luck, they might be downplaying their skills, efforts, and talents.

It’s counterintuitive because while they seem to be expressing gratitude, they may actually be grappling with impostor syndrome or feeling that they don’t genuinely deserve their accomplishments.

If you come across this, consider offering a different perspective: remind them of their hard work, dedication, and the moments they’ve shone, emphasizing that luck might have played a part, but it wasn’t the starring role in their success story.

7. “I don’t know why anyone would choose me.”

This statement, raw in its vulnerability, pulls at the heartstrings.

It’s a candid confession of feeling undeserving, unlovable, or inadequate.

Whether in the context of relationships, jobs, or friendships, this phrase screams a deep-seated belief that there are better options, and they can’t fathom why they’d be the chosen one.

When you hear this, it’s a cry for recognition.

They’re not just seeking validation for a fleeting moment, but battling a persistent internal narrative that they’re not “good enough.”

It’s crucial to approach this with empathy.

Offering genuine affirmations, sharing moments when they made a difference, or simply being there to listen can be healing and transformative.

Remember, these insecurities often stem from past experiences or deeply ingrained beliefs, and while you can’t erase them, your support can be a beacon of hope.

8. “Everyone else seems to have it all figured out.”

This sentiment captures the all-too-familiar trap of comparison.

When someone says this, they’re likely looking around and feeling like an outsider in a world where everyone else seems to be on track.

It’s a reflection of their internal chaos and uncertainty juxtaposed against the perceived perfection of others.

In reality, most of us are just good at putting on a facade, and everyone has their battles and uncertainties.

If you hear this phrase, it might be comforting for them to know that they’re not alone in feeling lost or behind.

Sharing stories of personal struggles or the ups and downs of people you both know can help shatter the illusion that everyone but them has it all together.

Sometimes, just knowing that everyone is on a unique journey, with its twists and turns, can offer solace.

9. “I just need to toughen up, I guess.”

This statement often emerges when someone believes their emotions or reactions are signs of weakness.

They might think they’re too sensitive or that they should be more resilient in the face of challenges.

By saying this, they’re inadvertently chastising themselves for feeling deeply or being affected by certain situations.

But emotions, in all their intensity, are what make us human. They aren’t signs of frailty but of our capacity to experience life profoundly.

If you come across someone expressing this sentiment, it’s essential to remind them that it’s okay to feel, and that strength isn’t about suppressing emotions but understanding and navigating them.

Encourage them to embrace their feelings and reassure them that everyone has moments of vulnerability—it’s a shared human experience, not a personal failing.

10. “Why can’t I just be like everyone else?”

Years ago, my younger cousin voiced this during one of our heart-to-heart conversations.

Behind those words was a world of pressure—to fit in, to meet expectations, to be “normal.”

This phrase often stems from a desire to blend in, especially when one feels like they’re sticking out or not measuring up to some perceived standard.

It’s a heartbreaking admission of feeling out of place.

Whenever I hear it, I remember the valuable lesson I tried to impart to my cousin: our differences, our quirks, and our unique perspectives are what make us special.

If you encounter someone feeling this way, it’s an opportunity to celebrate what sets them apart, highlighting moments where their distinctiveness shone brightly.

A simple story or a fond memory where their individuality made a difference can be a powerful reminder that “fitting in” isn’t always where magic happens.

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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