If someone displays these 8 traits, they’re really exhausting to be around

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Ever felt super tired after talking to someone?

Like you suddenly need a nap?

Yeah, we all know people who just drain our energy.

But sometimes it’s hard to figure out why they make us feel this way.

They might seem nice, but something’s just off.

In this article, we’ll look at the top 10 traits that make someone really tiring to be around.

This way, you’ll know who to watch out for and keep your energy levels up.

Ready? Let’s go!

1. They’re Constantly Negative

We all have bad days, but some people seem to have a “bad life,” or at least that’s how they talk.

When you’re around someone who is always negative, it feels like a rain cloud is following you.

Whether it’s complaining about their job, badmouthing friends, or just general doom and gloom, this person can turn a sunny day into a total downer.

Here’s the kicker: negativity is contagious.

Ever noticed how you start to feel down when you’re around a really negative person?

It’s like they’re passing their bad vibes onto you. No wonder you feel drained!

Being around constant negativity can really wear you out.

It’s hard to stay positive and hopeful when someone else is always pointing out the worst in everything.

2. They Always Make It About Themselves

Ever tried to share some news, good or bad, and somehow the conversation flips and it’s all about them?

Yeah, I had a “friend” like that too.

You could be talking about how your day was, a recent accomplishment, or even a family emergency, and they manage to steer the conversation back to themselves. “Oh, you got a promotion? That reminds me of the time when I…”

It’s like they’re the star of a movie, and you’re just an extra.

Conversations are supposed to be give and take, but with these folks, it’s all take, take, take.

It’s not just exhausting, it’s also pretty lonely.

Because let’s face it, when you’re with someone who always makes it about themselves, you’re essentially talking to a mirror—they’re only interested if the reflection shows them

3. They’re Super Judgmental

Nobody likes to be judged, and yet some people act like they’re auditioning for the role of “America’s Next Top Critic.”

I’m talking about the ones who have an opinion about your life choices, your friends, even the sandwich you ordered for lunch.

Trust me, I’ve been there—having someone raise an eyebrow at my veggie burger like it’s a crime against humanity.

It’s not just annoying; it’s soul-crushing.

Judgmental people make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells all the time.

You start second-guessing yourself, worried that even your smallest choices will be met with disdain.

And let’s be real: life’s too short for that nonsense.

When someone is constantly judging you, it’s not just tiring—it eats at your self-esteem.

It’s like they’ve got a magnifying glass on you, looking for flaws. Who needs that kind of pressure?

4. They’re Overly Positive (Yes, Really)

Wait, what? Positive people can be draining? I know, it sounds weird. But hear me out.

There’s a difference between someone who’s genuinely optimistic and someone who’s forcing positivity to the point where it feels fake.

You know the type: the ones who respond to every setback with a relentless “Everything happens for a reason!” or “Just look on the bright side!”

Sometimes life sucks, and it’s okay to admit it. Not every cloud has a silver lining that we can see right away.

When you’re going through tough times, the last thing you need is someone trivializing your feelings with non-stop sunshine and rainbows.

In fact, overly positive people can make you feel like you’re not allowed to have bad days or negative emotions.

And honestly? That’s exhausting.

Being around someone who insists on turning every frown upside down can make you feel invalidated and even more alone in your struggles.

5. They’re Chronic One-Uppers

Have you ever shared a story or accomplishment, only for the other person to immediately counter it with something they’ve done that’s “better” or “worse,” depending on the situation?

Yep, meet the Chronic One-Uppers.

Whether you climbed a mountain or stubbed your toe, they’ve climbed a higher mountain and stubbed both toes—and broken them.

It’s like they’re in this never-ending competition with everyone around them.

Except you didn’t sign up for it.

It makes sharing any news or stories with them feel like a losing game.

Got a new job? They got a higher-paying one. Had a bad day? Theirs was an epic tragedy worthy of Shakespeare.

This competitive aura doesn’t just suck the joy out of conversations; it’s downright exhausting.

It turns friendly catch-ups into weird contests, and not the fun kind.

After a while, you just stop wanting to share anything because what’s the point? They’ll always “win.”

6. They Never Listen, Only Wait to Talk

We all want to be heard, right? It’s a basic human need.

But some people make that nearly impossible.

I had an acquaintance—I won’t call them a friend—who would ask me how I was doing and then completely zone out as soon as I started talking.

It was so obvious that they were just waiting for their turn to speak, rehearsing their lines in their head.

It’s frustrating and isolating. It makes you feel like you’re just a placeholder in their one-person show.

Conversations should be a two-way street, but when you’re dealing with someone who never listens, it’s like hitting a conversational dead-end.

You can practically see them drumming their fingers, eyes glazing over, as they wait for you to finish your “irrelevant” story so they can jump back into the spotlight.

You end up feeling unseen and unheard, which is incredibly draining.

In my case, I eventually stopped hanging out with that person.

Life’s too short to waste your stories and feelings on people who don’t care to listen.

7. They’re Master Manipulators

Look, there’s no easy way to say this: some people are just manipulative, plain and simple.

They know how to pull your strings, play with your emotions, and get you to do things you don’t really want to do. And it’s messed up.

You might not even notice it’s happening at first. They could be subtle, using guilt trips or passive-aggressive tactics.

But over time, you start to feel it.

You realize you’re making decisions based on what will make them happy or avoid an argument, rather than what’s right for you.

It’s a heavy feeling, like you’re carrying them on your back everywhere you go.

And that’s not just tiring, it’s damaging.

They suck the emotional life out of you and fill the space with doubt and insecurity.

It takes a toll, believe me. I’ve been there, and it took me a while to realize what was happening and even longer to break free.

The worst part?

Manipulators often paint themselves as the victim, making you feel like the bad guy for standing up for yourself.

It’s a mind game that’s not only exhausting but also deeply confusing and disheartening.

8. They’re Overly Agreeable (No, Seriously)

At first glance, someone who’s always agreeable might seem like the least exhausting person to be around.

I mean, who doesn’t like a “yes man” who goes along with whatever you say?

But let’s get real: constant agreement is not only disingenuous, it’s actually pretty draining.


Because relationships—whether friendships, family, or romantic—thrive on authenticity.

We want to know what the other person actually thinks and feels, not just what they think we want to hear.

An overly agreeable person makes every conversation feel shallow, like you’re just skimming the surface of something deeper.

The irony is, you start to feel more alone the more they agree with you. It’s like talking to a mirror that reflects only what you say, not what you feel or think.

Plus, let’s be honest: we grow through challenges and disagreements. If someone’s always nodding along, it’s hard to evolve or gain new perspectives.

So, as counterintuitive as it sounds, being around someone who’s perpetually agreeable can be just as exhausting as being around someone who’s always confrontational.

At least with the latter, you know where you stand.


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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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