10 things social introverts do that most people won’t understand

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Social introverts are a confusing bunch.

They’re introverted by nature, meaning they like to turn inwards to process their thoughts, feelings and emotions.

And yet social introverts also like to socialize — but with a catch.

They don’t like big crowds as much as they do small and intimate gatherings of like-minded souls.

It’s this paradox between enjoying socializing and gravitating towards solitude that makes social introverts so difficult for others to understand.

As a social introvert myself, I went ahead and put together this list of ten things about social introverts that will help you understand this curious bunch.

1. We value socializing

Let’s get this out of the way as it’s a big misconception about social introverts.

We like to socialize.

We just don’t want to engage in superficial and shallow interactions.

Don’t invite me to the popular rave that everyone’s talking about.

I’m not interested in dancing the night away to electronic beats at the local club.

But I do want to lose myself in hours of deep and meaningful conversation.

I want to go and explore the world by the side of like-minded people who share an appreciation of different cultures.

I want to try new things and experience the joy of learning and growth with others.

It’s because…

2. We want something more deep and meaningful

This is the key point.

As introverts, we naturally look within for our inspiration.

We are reflective and analytical about what’s happening inside.

We do things for the meaning they bring to our lives. We have an understanding of a deeper purpose to life.


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Social introverts want to share our meaning with others. We want interactions that speak to our souls and light us up from deep inside.

We just want to set our boundaries when it comes to socializing. We set these boundaries because…

3. We are sensitive to superficiality

I need to be honest with you.

We live in a superficial world.

It’s not just social media that brings so much superficiality, although that is a key culprit.

It goes deep than this.

We are trapped in a consumerist culture. Multinational corporations besiege us with advertisements that tell us the solutions to our problems can be found by purchasing new things, wearing the latest trends, driving the best cars, or having a cool new haircut.

That won’t do much for me, but you get the drift…

Introverts are more awake to the superficiality of the world and can take a stand against it.

Our main defense against the superficiality of the world is our ability to look within and reflect.

We reflect deeply on our values and what we really want from life.

And we socialize with others who have similar values.

There’s nothing more exciting for a social introvert that finding someone who shares our values. This is when we can open our hearts and minds and trust that socializing will bring a level of comfort and satisfaction from life.

4. We can be fun and lively

Non-introverts look at us and think we’re boring. They assume that we don’t know how to have fun.

What a big mistake.

While we take a little while to warm up to others, when we feel a deeper connection we can really let loose.

We can go on adventures and explore the world.

We can even dance the night away at a local Cuban bar.

If you’re a non-introvert, you probably won’t get the chance to see this side of us. But we’re fine with that.

We’ll happily wait until we feel a connection with someone before we show our lively sides.

5. We can be in conversation all night long

As introverts, we can be quiet at times. We thrive in solitude.

But there’s really nothing more exciting for a social introvert than feeling a connection with someone and losing ourselves in conversation.

We’ll probably begin by sharing some of our secret desires for the complicate lives we’re living.

We will share stories about things that have happened in our past that we’ve never told anyone about.

We’ll tell our partner what makes us tick. What our unique values and perspectives are.

And we’ll love learning about the person we’re with. What makes them similar but also what makes them different to us.

We love to be in conversation all night long. We just want it to be with someone who gets us at a deeper level.

6. We like to learn about different people

As an introvert, I have an appreciation for what a complicated old soul I am.

And that brings me to a level of appreciation about how complicated other people are.

It makes me more likely to listen to people. I have a desire to go deep and see what makes people tick.

I like to learn about different people. Most social introverts are the same.

We’re inspired by stories. We appreciate that people face challenges and continue to move forward. We have a lot of empathy for the diversity of the human experience.

And finally…

7. We connect with others based on a shared sense of purpose

This one is interesting.

Introverts are more likely to look within for their life purpose. We’ll define our life purpose in alignment with a deeper set of values.

And we love to connect with others who share these same values and have a similar purpose in life.

The thing is, we all have our own unique life purpose. But there are commonalities that bring certain people together.

Social introverts love it when we meet people who share our purpose. We know that these are the deepest human connections we can experience in life.

I have a free masterclass where I explain how to identify your purpose in life and find like-minded people to experience it with. I learned how to do this from a shaman in Brazil.

I’d love for you to check out the masterclass and let me know what you think. You can learn more about it here on The Vessel.

In the meantime, I hope this article has shed some light on the unique life of the social introvert. Share it with someone who will understand the quirks of this beautifully strange type of person.

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Justin Brown

Justin Brown is an entrepreneur and thought leader in personal development and digital media, with a foundation in education from The London School of Economics and The Australian National University. As the co-founder of Ideapod, The Vessel, and a director at Brown Brothers Media, Justin has spearheaded platforms that significantly contribute to personal and collective growth. His deep insights are shared on his YouTube channel, JustinBrownVids, offering a rich blend of guidance on living a meaningful and purposeful life.

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