Turns out that we women aren’t the only insecure ones in a relationship.
They may not always admit it, but guys can be just as self-conscious and unsure as us.
So, if you’re with a great guy and you want him to know it, here are 18 simple ways to boost his confidence.
1) Don’t confront him about it
If you feel bad that your man has low self-esteem and you think it could use a boost, don’t tell him that!
Guys can be super sensitive about stuff like that and although being open and honest is generally a good thing, sometimes it can have the opposite effect of what you want.
The thing is that if you tell him he needs to work on his confidence, he might look at it as an attack on his “manliness” and feel even worse than he already does.
Instead of telling him directly, you want to discreetly nudge him in the right direction. Keep reading to find out more…
2) Compliment something he does well
You’re going to want to use every opportunity you can to praise him.
Now, you shouldn’t lie, I think it’s important that these be things you actually appreciate about him.
For example, if he makes dinner for you and you find it tasty, don’t just talk about your day as you’re eating. Tell him how great you think the sauce is and how al dente his pasta is!
Oh, and another thing.
Try to keep the criticism to a minimum. I know that there’s probably a lot of stuff that he does (or doesn’t do) that annoys you but if you want to boost his confidence, you need to stop pointing out every little mistake.
3) Support him
A great way to boost your man’s confidence is to support him!
Encourage him to pursue his goals and ambitions.
For example, if he’s not happy at his job, encourage him to find another one.
Tell him, “If you’re unhappy there, you should look for something else. You deserve to be in a positive work environment where you’ll be appreciated and where you can advance.”
And if he’s facing a few challenges and has moments of self-doubt, reassure him by telling them that setbacks are a normal part of life and that he should look at them as learning experiences. Tell him, “You’ve got this! I believe in you.”
4) Notice him
Don’t take the poor guy for granted.
If he’s shaved his beard, gotten a new haircut, lost weight, or bought some new clothes, let him know that you’ve noticed the changes and that you like what you see.
Trust me, a simple thing like taking notice can do wonders for a guy’s confidence.
5) Show him how attractive you find him
The truth is that guys like to feel like they’re good-looking as much as women do.
That’s why you shouldn’t hesitate to flirt with your guy and tell him how cute his butt looks in those jeans or how every woman in the café is looking at your man!
And even if he doesn’t look like Brad Pitt, I’m sure there’s something about him you find hot, right?
Be sure to let him know.
6) Let him know how much you enjoy being around him
And it’s not just about looks, guys like to feel appreciated for their minds and you know, in general.
It might not hurt to remind him of just how much you enjoy his company once in a while.
Here are a few tips:
- Show genuine interest in what he’s saying and actively take part in the conversation. Be sure to ask questions to show that you value his thoughts and enjoy engaging with him.
- Use positive body language to show him just how much you like being around him. Smile, laugh, hug him, hold his hand, place your head on his shoulder… Trust me, non-verbal cues are just as important as verbal ones.
- Don’t wait for him to ask you to do something, be the first to initiate contact and make plans. Let him know how eager you are to hang out.
7) Ask him for help
You don’t have to play the damsel in distress, but if there’s anything that you need help or advice with, ask your man.
Here’s the thing: It’s 2023 and we don’t need guys to do stuff for us, we’re modern, independent, free-thinking, and powerful women.
And yet… guys still like to feel needed by us from time to time. It’s in their DNA.
So why not give him that satisfaction? Even if it’s advice about a situation with a co-worker or something you’d talk to your friends about, it will boost his confidence to know you came to him with a problem.
8) Never compare him to your ex (or other guys)
Seriously, don’t do it.
If you were in a long-term relationship with a great guy and then you broke up, it’s quite possibly the reason for your current boyfriend’s issues.
Maybe he feels intimidated by your ex. Maybe he’s scared that he can’t measure up.
And when it comes to other guys, trust me, no good ever came from telling someone with low confidence to be more like another guy.
9) Stop hanging out with your ex
A lot of people stay friends after breaking up. And I think that’s great.
However, it could be a bit of a problem when it comes to their current relationship.
So, if you’re still quite friendly with your ex, you might want to stop hanging out with him for a while. See if that helps boost your man’s confidence.
Put yourself in his shoes. It can’t feel great knowing that your girl is still seeing a guy she used to be in love with.
10) Act jealous
Maybe you’re not the jealous type and maybe you trust your guy 100%, I know I do.
But… if you want to boost his confidence, maybe you should “fake” it a bit, or at least joke about being jealous.
Like, if he’s staying late at work to finish something, you might wanna say something like, “Will that cute brunette be there?”
Basically, you want him to think that a tiny part of you is scared of losing him.
It’s not too much to ask for, it’s just a simple way to boost his confidence.
11) Don’t make fun of his shyness
Never ever make fun of his – or anyone else’s for that matter – shyness!
That’s one of the worst things you could do. It’s bound to make him feel self-aware and even emasculated.
Even if you think it’s “cute” that he’s shy, don’t tell him that.
12) Let him make decisions
I’m not saying that you should become a 50s housewife or let your man make all the decisions, far from it!
But if you’re usually the one to take charge and decide what, when, and where, I think you should consider letting him make some decisions too.
How does 50/50 sound? Could you live with that?
It might just be the simple solution you’re looking for!
13) Let him pay
Again, yes, I know it’s 2023 and that you’re an independent woman. I appreciate that.
And it totally makes sense to be strong and assertive with a guy who is equally strong and assertive.
But a guy with low confidence… Well, maybe he needs to feel like a “man’s man” from time to time and maybe paying for dinner will make him feel that way.
14) Don’t try to change him
Okay, so obviously you’re trying to boost his confidence, but that’s just because you want him to know just how amazing a guy he is, not because you want to change who he is as a person.
Let him know you like him just the way he is.
15) Brag about him to others
Another good and simple way to boost a man’s confidence is to brag about his accomplishments to others – while you’re with him of course!
For example, tell them how he just got promoted at work, how he can play three instruments, or how he carried your new sofa up several flights of stairs for you.
Make him look good and he’ll feel good.
16) Laugh at his jokes
Don’t tell him his jokes are dumb or that he tells dad jokes. Make an effort to see the humor in his jokes because his confidence sure could use a boost!
17) Compliment his moves in bed
When it comes down to it, all guys want to feel like gods in the bedroom.
I’m not gonna get into any details here but if there’s something you like, you gotta tell him that!
Just make sure not to fake it because chances are he’ll be able to tell.
And if he doesn’t? He’ll keep doing something you don’t like thinking that you do like it!
18) Be patient
Finally, remember to be patient.
Confidence is something that needs to be built, so it won’t happen overnight.
Just be good to him and keep doing these simple little things to help him along.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
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