8 signs you’ve found the right partner, according to psychology

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Have you ever wondered if your partner is the one for you? Do you think you’ve possibly found your other half?

Sometimes it can be hard to tell. 

But luckily there are some signs that psychologists would say indicate that you have found the one! Read on to find out what they are.

1) Good communication

You may have heard that the key to a great relationship is good communication between the couple. And you would have heard right.

Good communication is the best way to avoid confusion and misunderstandings in all relationships in life. So, if you and your partner are doing this, you’re on the right track for success.

Communication looks different in all relationships.

You have first to understand how each works.

Some couples are very vocal in public – they need to get things over and done with straight away. Others need to mull things over and speak about it later. 

The most important thing is that you’re speaking respectfully with each other and that you’re both feeling heard.

A study on marriage and the predictability of divorce found that couples who were able to communicate well in their marriages were less likely to end up divorced.

2) You feel safe, secure, and respected

How do you feel when you’re with your partner? Do you always feel like you’re walking on eggshells or do they make you feel like you’re home?

How about when they are out without you? How do you feel then?

If you’re in a position where you don’t worry about your partner when they’re out alone, or who they’re messaging, and you’re happy and at peace when you’re together, these are sure signs that you’ve probably found the right partner.

When there is trust, a relationship can grow.

So if you’re feeling jealous more often than not, uncomfortable when they go out, and don’t feel that you can be yourself when you’re around your partner, you might not be with the right person for you (or for them).

Both people need the freedom to be themselves.

There is a nice study on love that states, “Hot sex doesn’t lead to secure love; rather secure attachment leads to hot sex – and also to love that lasts.”

3) Individual growth

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who never encouraged you to go for your goals or strive to grow? 

I have, and ultimately the relationship ended because I had lost myself. 

When we were together, I did everything with him and his friends. I lost a lot of my friends in the process and as a result, forgot who I was.

I forgot the things that made me happy, the things I used to enjoy.

Eventually, after the breakup, I had to go on what can only be described as ‘a journey of self-discovery’ to find happiness again.

Just think about how you’d feel if your partner was thriving, succeeding, smashing their goals, and you didn’t have that opportunity.

Both people need the opportunity to be able to achieve.

However, sometimes in relationships, this has to happen at different times, due to finances, parenting, or other commitments.

But if you have that communication down, and you know that after you’ve been the breadwinner then they will be, you’re on to a good thing.

A study on job and life satisfaction has shown that people who pursue personal goals and interests outside the relationship tend to report higher levels of life satisfaction. 

This doesn’t surprise me, because when I pursue things that make me feel like I’m growing positively or achieving my goals, I’m much happier and nicer to be around.

So it’s likely to have a beneficial impact on all my relationships, especially on my romantic ones.

4) Intimacy and affection

Now this doesn’t mean having sex a certain amount of times a week or walking around holding hands everywhere you go together.

Intimacy and affection can also be the way you are with each other. 

A simple hand on an arm, a kiss on the cheek.

A loving smile all counts as well. When two people show love in this way then this can bring a real closeness to a relationship.

This article talks about the power of touch. It says that non-sexual touch can promote connection and relaxation, thus deepening intimacy and love. 

The article notes “Partners who touched each other more and who were happier with the amount of touch they were receiving tended to be more sexually satisfied and were happier in their relationships”.

5) Conflict resolution skills

Everyone argues in relationships, But it’s how you solve conflict that shows whether you and your partner are made for each other.

A study on relationships says that when you turn towards each other during an argument, rather than away, builds romance and connection.

And therefore your relationship is likely to last the distance.

It continues by saying that if you often encounter conflict ‘gridlock’, this can indicate the end of a relationship.

Here are the examples of ‘conflict gridlock’ from this study;

  • Conflict makes you feel rejected by your partner 
  • You keep on talking about it but make no headways 
  • You become entrenched in your positions and are unwilling to budge 
  • When you discuss the topic, you feel more frustrated and hurt 
  • Your conversations about the problem are devoid of humor, amusement, or affection
  • You become more unbudgeable over time, leading to mutual vilification during these conversations
  • The vilification leads to being further rooted in your position and polarized, more extreme in your views, and less willing to compromise 
  • Eventually, you disengage from each other emotionally

If any of these points are consistent in your relationship, then you either have some work to do in the area of conflict resolution or perhaps you and your partner aren’t quite as suited as you’d hoped.

6) Shared values

Have you ever dated someone who has had completely different values to yours? It can be a real challenge. 

The same study I mentioned in point 5 also explains the significance of shared values in successful relationships.

It goes on to say that when people have similar priorities and perspectives, it can create a sense of unity, which then can lead to a strong emotional connection. 

Perhaps you met your partner doing something you both value and put significance on in your life.

A good friend of mine is a real gym junkie.

And guess where she met her partner? You guessed it, through mutual friends at the same gym.

They both value health and wellbeing and it has become the cornerstone of their relationship.

This is even more important if you plan to have children together, as you need to be on the same level as your partner when bringing them up.

7) Emotional support

Have you ever had a partner who was never there when you needed them to be? 

Over time relationships with people like these tend to crumble.

We then find other people to lean on for support which often brings with it infidelity or a big brick wall between you and your partner.

“People who feel more appreciated by their romantic partners report being more appreciative of their partners. In turn, people who are more appreciative of their partners report being more responsive to their partner’s needs and are more committed and more likely to remain in their relationships over time.” says a study on gratitude and relationships.

As we support each other and appreciate that support we are creating strong bonds between ourselves and our partner.

These are the bonds that create a long-lasting, healthy relationship.

8) Priorities align

Just as with ‘shared values’, when your and your partner’s priorities align, you’ll end up traveling in the same direction in life.

I once dated someone whose priorities were different from mine.

At first, I thought we had a lot in common because we both went to the same gym.

But as time went on I began to realise that what we wanted from life looked very different. 

I wanted to travel and move up in my job at the time.

And he was happy doing a job where he didn’t get paid much.

Because of this, he didn’t have the money for travel like I did.

Most days he was happy sitting at home playing games. Which is fine, except that I wasn’t into that sort of lifestyle. 

Eventually, we both realized that we both wanted to live different lifestyles.

Our priorities were not in line. And I realized that as much as I like this guy, I would be much happier single doing my own thing.

Final thoughts

“Today we have a revolutionary new perspective on love, one that is optimistic and practical. Grounded in science, it reveals that love is vital to our existence.” Love Sense.

Finding a partner who meets all these criteria may seem daunting.

However, when you do find someone who fulfills your needs and helps you grow into the best version of yourself, don’t let them go!

Cherish each other daily and continue nurturing that exceptional bond you’ve created together.

So if you’ve gotten to the end of this article and are thinking yes to many of these points, you’ve got something special, something worth holding onto tightly and treasuring.

 

Louisa Lopez

Louisa is writer, wellbeing coach, and world traveler, with a Masters in Social Anthropology. She is fascinated by people, psychology, spirituality and exploring psychedelics for personal growth and healing. She’s passionate about helping people and has been giving empowering advice professionally for over 10 years using the tarot. Louisa loves magical adventures and can often be found on a remote jungle island with her dogs. You can connect with her on Twitter: @StormJewel

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