7 signs you’ve finally found your other half, according to psychology

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Think you’ve struck gold in your relationship? 

You’re not alone. A 2013 survey showed a whopping 86% of young Americans expect their marriages to last a lifetime. 

Yet, reality checks in with a stark contrast. The American Psychological Association lays it bare: barely half of marriages hit the 20-year mark. 

And get this – Forbes points out that the odds plummet with second and third marriages, with a staggering 73% of third marriages hitting the rocks.

But there is hope, of course: not every relationship is cut from the same cloth. Some are built to last, forged in a resilience that scoffs at the stats.

So, you reckon your relationship’s got what it takes to go the distance? 

Today, you find out.  

We dive into seven signs you’ve finally found your other half.

Let’s get to it. 

1) You agree on the “big things”

When the core aspects of your lives sync up, your relationship stands on firmer ground. 

This concept is backed by professionals in the field. Jon-Paul Bird, a marriage and family therapist, for example, said: “If one person wants nothing more than to have three kids and the other is strictly opposed to having children, there could be an issue.” 

Put simply, major mismatches in life aspirations, like the decision to have kids, can spell trouble for a couple. It’s when your fundamental ambitions and principles clash that friction arises.

We’re talking about the pillars of a life built together: parenting, financial management, career ambitions, and how you both approach life. 

Of course, being on the same page in these areas doesn’t mean you mirror each other’s thoughts on everything. It’s about sharing a common vision for your future, making every decision a step toward a mutually crafted dream.

This kind of foundational agreement makes your partnership not just sustainable but adaptable to whatever life throws your way.

2) You don’t feel the need to change each other

Have you ever noticed how the quirks that drew us to a partner can, over time, turn into the very things we wish we could tweak? 

It starts with a love for their free-spirited nature, but soon you find yourself craving stability. Or maybe it was their dedication to work that caught your eye, only to find yourself wishing for more lazy Sundays together down the line.

This push-pull between loving them for who they are and wanting to mold them into your version of perfection can put a damper on even the most solid of relationships.

And the experts agree. Psych Central highlights insights from psychologist David Tzall, pointing out that embracing each other, flaws and all, is a telltale sign of lasting love. 

It’s not about crafting the perfect partner but cherishing what makes them uniquely them. This acceptance is a cornerstone of a relationship that’s not just built to last but thrive.

3) You can clearly communicate with each other

Digging into the reasons behind failed relationships, one striking figure stands out: in research by Forbes, 31% of divorced individuals cited “incompatibility” as the primary reason for their separation. 

Interestingly, only 21% of these breakups were mutual decisions, leading to a key question: How do couples who once seemed perfectly matched end up at such crossroads?

The answer often boils down to one critical element – communication, or the lack thereof. 

As you might imagine, relationship professionals agree that clear communication is essential to lasting relationships. 

But perhaps Madissyn Fredericks, a licensed clinical professional counselor, captured its essence best when she stated,

“Without communication, you have no foundation on which to build a healthy relationship. Open communication gives each partner the opportunity to be vulnerable and listen to the other. A healthy relationship allows the space for difficult conversations and disagreements to be had with minimal avoiding or attacking.”

This concept extends beyond just sharing daily updates or venting frustrations. 

It’s about fostering an environment where both individuals feel genuinely heard and respected. It’s the capacity to navigate challenging discussions without fear, ensuring that listening is as valued as speaking.

Does this sound like your relationship?

If so, you’re on a solid path. The ability to communicate openly and effectively is the bedrock of any enduring relationship, preventing the withering of even the most fervent of connections.

4) You don’t compare

If you’re a regular around here, you might be rolling your eyes at yet another mention of avoiding comparisons to other people. But bear with me because this is crucial in the context of romantic relationships as well. 

In a truly solid partnership, the last thing on your mind is how you measure up to the seemingly perfect couples on social media or TV. 

Research backs this up. It has shown that drawing comparisons with other relationships can lead to a decrease in happiness, satisfaction, and even self-esteem within your own relationship.

Your relationship is its own unique narrative, made from shared experiences, and challenges overcome together, and the ways you’ve both evolved. By cherishing this individual journey, you fortify your bond, creating a resilient haven that stands separate from external influences.

If you and your significant other are focused on building your own exclusive world, unfazed by the need to stack it up against others, it’s a big sign. 

5) You are close…but not joined at the hip

A strong relationship isn’t about being inseparable; it’s about striking the right balance. 

Relationship expert Dr. Barton Goldsmith summed it up perfectly in a Psychology Today post when he said, “The healthiest way we can interact with those close to us is by being truly interdependent.

This is where two people, both strong individuals, are involved with each other, but without sacrificing themselves or compromising their values.”

In a relationship marked by interdependence, there’s mutual respect for each other’s space and personal endeavors. You’re both encouraged to explore your own interests, cultivate friendships outside the relationship, and grow as individuals.

This dynamic doesn’t hint at a rift; on the contrary, it signifies a deep understanding that personal growth is pivotal to the relationship’s growth. 

When you have the freedom to be yourselves outside the relationship, you bring back richer experiences, insights, and energies to share with each other.

If you find joy in your personal passions yet eagerly return to share your world with your partner, your bond is built to last, fortified by the individual strengths you each bring to the table.

6) You can be vulnerable with each other

Research by Relate and Eharmony suggests that only a minority of men, about 20%, feel comfortable being vulnerable in dating situations. This statistic highlights a broader issue in relationships where vulnerability is often seen as a weakness, particularly among men. 

But vulnerability is a crucial component of deep, meaningful connections. 

Brené Brown, a renowned expert on the subject, emphasizes this. She stated, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage”​ ​. 

In a relationship where you can be vulnerable with each other, you create an environment of trust and safety where both partners feel comfortable sharing their true selves.

This level of openness paves the way for a stronger, more resilient relationship, capable of withstanding challenges and growing over time. 

Embracing vulnerability means moving beyond societal expectations that often equate emotional openness with weakness, especially among men, and recognizing it as a strength and a cornerstone of a healthy, lasting relationship.

7) Neither of you are financially struggling

Here’s one that might ruffle some feathers. 

Surely money and love are two different things, right?

Sure, but the link between financial stability and relationship longevity is more significant than many realize. 

Forbes research revealed that financial strains are behind 24% of divorces, a not-so-surprising statistic when you consider the pressures money—or the lack thereof—can bring to a partnership. 

Adding to this, a 2009 study found that couples with no assets were likelier to split compared to those who had a financial safety net of around $10,000.

This isn’t to say money is the ultimate key to happiness in a relationship, but it undeniably eases many common stressors that couples face. 

When both partners are financially secure, the relationship can pivot from mere survival to thriving and growing together. 

It’s probably not about wealth, per se, but the peace of mind that comes with not having to constantly worry about finances, allowing both of you to invest more energy into nurturing the relationship.

The bottom line 

 That’s just about it from me today, folks. 

Relationships are not easy, but if you can relate to many of the signs above, you’ve probably found the ‘one’ that so many look for and are likely to have a lasting relationship.

If not, well, now you know what to look out for. 

As always, I hope you found some value in this post. 

Until next time. 

Mal James

Mal James

Originally from Ireland, Mal is a content writer, entrepreneur, and teacher with a passion for self-development, productivity, relationships, and business.

As an avid reader, Mal delves into a diverse range of genres, expanding his knowledge and honing his writing skills to empower readers to embark on their own transformative journeys.

In his downtime, Mal can be found on the golf course or exploring the beautiful landscapes and diverse culture of Vietnam, where he is now based.

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